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PERSONALS
1.
Love Is The Answer.
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Mike;
Sackville, NB
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40-Something red-head. Single male. Non-smoker. Occasional drinker. Enjoys Christian social events, reading books and getting absolutely trashed on class 'A' narcotics. Want to share some special times? Please call before 9pm as I turn in early. Call 555-3332
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2.
Is It You?
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Chastity;
Wankers Hill, NB
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Tall, dumb buck toothed twenty seven year old secretary seeking a simple man 20-30. You must be able to string multiple words together to form a sentence and be able to impress my parents. I like fairy tales and doing rabbit impersonations. I hope you are my prince in shining armour. Call 555-6754
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3.
Looking For A Relative.
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Garry;
Murky's Pond, NFLD
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Adopted at birth. 40 year old African-Canadian male seeking anyone related to me. I was raised by a family of Puffins on Ramsock Island. If anyone used to live there or knew someone from there please get in touch. Call: 555-4536
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4.
Large Package.
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Vespitha;
Allardville, NB
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Horny middle-aged housewife on heat. My hormone driven frenzy awaits you! Get amongst it, let it all hang out! I'm waiting for you. I'm all worked up and sweaty with excitement. Ooooooohhh! I love these personal ads! Call now 555-HORN
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5.
Do You Have Herpes?
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Basil; Little Cracked Brook, NB
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Slim, sexy and mature. Loves gardening, chasing cats and eating beans on toast. Looking for a female to share my remaining years with. Herpes sufferer preferred as my privates are riddled with it. Call 555-BASIL
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6.
Outdoorsy Type.
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Kamika; Toronto, ONT
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Outgoing Oriental twenty-something. I enjoy golfing, gardening, fishing, hunting and four-wheel off road fun. Likewise man wanted, preferably with a goatee. Call 555-1277
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7.
Call Me Mr Happy.
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Ken; Beaver Mountain, NB
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105 year old retired Monk. Smoker and social drinker. Enjoys simple things like cooking, cuddling and rearing bulls. I am seeking a long term relationship with a caring and understanding woman over 80 years of age. Call 555-5342
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8.
Honest, Unmarried And Easy.
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Wanita; Steep Cliff, NS
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Thirty year old Lesbian looking for an active bearded tractor-trailer driving female to share my salty bath with. Must enjoy Candle lit evenings, baking bread on weekends and rolling in cow dung on early summer mornings. If you fit the bill, I'll move in for the kill! Call 555-7856
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9.
Stay At Home Mom, Ten Kids.
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Yootha; Dorchester, NB
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Do you like belchers? I'm a belcher. I like to belch in peoples faces for fun. I'm a fifty year old belching mother of ten. Heavily into NASCAR racing too. Looking for an average guy willing to help me raise my kids and take me out occasioally to the movies. If you want to be my friend, lover or soul mate and help me out with the dishes I promise I won't get out my rolling pin and pummel the living sh*t out of you! Call 555-2347
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10.
Make A Steak Out Of Me!
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Bertha; Dieppe, NB
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Looking for a little extra something in your life? Are you into obese roly-poly dumplings dripping in fat? Well here I am, larger than life and willing and able. If your good under the hood and feel like giving me a quick service then Call 555-7896
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11.
Give Yourself A Treat!
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Hermenegilde; Memramcook, NB
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Skinny dentally challenged dick looking to build a family life. Enjoys blowing up bull-frogs, smearing body paint all over myself, taking part in karaoke all-nighters and playing bingo at the legion. Think you can handle the pressure? Women preferred. Call 555-3448
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12.
Ball-Squeezer.
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Abigail; Halifax, NS
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Hello Gentlemen. I am a 22 year old Aerobics instructor looking for an active 30-45 year old male willing to please a very dominating young woman. You'll get to play many games with me! Call 555-2398
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13.
Guess My Sex?
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Biff; Saint Stephen, NB
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Successful transgendered chocolate factory supervisor seeking wild and wicked times. I love good humoured folks, oily back rubs, walks along the river, dressing up in men and women's clothing and breeding piranha fish. Think your my type? Call 555-0032
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14.
Vibrator.
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Ned's Life-size Dummies; Tokyo, Japan
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Custom built Shop store dummy for sale! Fully equipped. Let the good times roll! Here's the best substitute companion you'll ever need. No arguments! No domestic brawls! No messy divorces! You can make out anywhere you like! Take her to church, visit your relatives, go for drives around town. No hassle and plenty of fun! She comes with electric foot peddle pump.Call 555-4356
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2005 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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