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PERSONALS
1.
Miserable Old Cow
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Daisy; 32,
Allardville, NB
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Moo! To you! Have you any idea of the stress I am udder? Every day I am milked shitless and suffer afterwards with sore, itchy teats. Does the farmer put cream on them? No! He does not! Do I get laid much? No I do not! So... next time you chug on my milk think of the how unhealthy it is! All I ask is just once in a while let me ride a bull ragged. Oh and that stuff they fed us... I have to say I really hate the fish heads and chicken balls!
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2.
Tender and Gentle.
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Sally; 36,
Borden, PEI
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I can't really describe what I'm looking for, as it's impossible to nail down that one thing that makes someone attractive. I'm not going to say that looks are unimportant - they are, but if there's no personality to go with them, then all the looks in the world won't make a difference. My perfect day begins with a kiss and finishes with hardcore no holds barred sex! Call Sammy, 555-8934
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3.
Creepy, Jealous Single Nova Scotian Seeking Rich Bitch.
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Peter; 41, Wolfville, NS
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Hi! I won't lie to you. I'm a very influential business man with many contacts. However being a Maritimer has it's flaws. In my case not enough Rich ladies to plunder my desires on! I'm a nice boy really (just ask my Mom). But deep down I hate myself and like to wriggle like a slimey eel into the panties of successful rich girls. Am I turning you on yet? Call Pete 555-3245
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4.
Colosall Bearded Woman.
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Mandy;
Stedman St, Moncton, NB
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Wild Afro-Canadian Gal willing to give her all! Give me a Call: 555-2045
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5.
Grease Lightening!
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Roy, White Frost Village, Moncton. NB
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If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on sugar let me know.
If you really need me just reach out and touch me come on honey tell me so. Want to boogie on down to the arse crack beat of the 70's? Then Roy the 'Sex Stud Stallion' is just the Womaneater for you! Call 555-8934
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6.
Love Me To Love You!
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Tinki; 30, Albert Mines, NB
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I am Filipina but leaving in Albert Mines, New Brunswick. I am divorce with 13 kids. I have been alone for 5 weeks. Am working in cardboard factory. I am pretty, very sexy, love high heels and little tight skirts and now is time am looking for more future husbands. A man that he be honest, loves kid, is patience and looks after me. Call 555-7855
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7.
I'd Love To Sell You My Product!
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Annoying Former Canadian Tyre Mascot; Toronto, ONT
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Having problems with your inflatible life vest? I think I have the solution! Having problems with your car Jack, Jack? Try mine! It's new 'One Touch Hydraulic Instant Jack-up'! Having problems wiping the little dried stains off your arse. Try this! It's the new 'One-Wipe Wet Away'. Cleans hard to scrub stains fast. Darn it, my ad space has run out! No worries try the new 'Infinity Classified Ad' package only from Canadian Tire. Blah... Blah... Blah...
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8.
Middul Ayged Women.
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Eunice; Bathurst, NB
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I am SWF, blond wit brawn eys, 5.7 tall wit cottage cheeze theyes. Divorsed, eduacated, inderpendent, open-miyndid and have many intrestes to share. I dont smoke and are social smoker. I Workout 4-5 times a week. I am looking for my mate and a future husband to be old. Call 555-0022
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9.
Anyone for Golf?
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OJ; Florida, USA
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Retired football player, actor and one-time suspected killer into clubs. Golf clubs that is. Iron's are my favourite. 1's, 2's 7's 8's you name the number I'm swinging witht the best baby! Call my attorney, 555-CLUB
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10.
Your Mile High Club Membership Just Got Activated!
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Becky; 29, London, UK
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Calling All Hot blooded Canadian Males! Naughty British Girl seeks sex at 41,000ft! Does this turn you on? I hope so! It's the only time a busy girl like me can find a guy! If you like service will a smile and some fun in the toilet stalls I'm your girl! Call Becky 555-7126. PS I usually fly Heathrow - Toronto Direct, so there's plenty of time to interact!
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11.
Experienced Pipe Smoker Into Any Sex At All
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Albert; 20, Crack Head Harbour, NFLD
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Well I am just going to start off by saying that I am not really 20 .. I am 68, but it won't let me change my age.. Right now I am just looking for anyone. I am six foot two inches in height and have been known to get half errect in the right situations. Call 555-7101
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12.
Woman Seeking Man - Long Term Benefits!
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Barbie; 66, Bouctouche, NB
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I am 66 year old retired Canadian Forces hottie that looks younger than her age. Been widowed 45 years, hoping to find the right man to fall in love with for the rest of my life... My teeth are real, where I got them I won't say (giggle!) I Like to be neat and I still shave! Call 555-2348.
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13.
Lonely Pig Farmer.
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Worzel; Woodstock, NB
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Abidy! Abidy! Abidy! I'm lookin' fer me Aunt Sally. She's me bestest woman in the whole wide woruld! Yes! Yes! I've got me 'miserable head on 'cus I can't find the love of me life! Mr Crowman won't let me leave the farm to go lookin' fer me Aunt Sally and I'm all sad 'cus I can't find her! If your me Aunt Sally Call 555-7834.
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14.
Big Girls Have All The Fun!
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Lard Ass Lesbian; 44, Saint John, NB
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Hi! I am a mature Norwegian Mountain woman who is looking for a woman with a similar build to me. I am 1072 centimetres in height, have short thick black hair and raisin coloured eyes. I'm a bit oval round the waist but I am trying to do something about that. I Love baking bread and smashing dough to smithereens with a rolling pin! Call Rosie, 555-9090.
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15.
Let's Let It All Hang Out!
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Fat middle-aged Republican Right-Wing Radio Talk Show Host; 55, USA
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Hello, How are things? I am a pretty nice looking don't you think? I'm an outspoken pig-headed yank who loves laying on my back while ogling sexy, dumb, dishonest, un-loyal women with large melons. loves smoking and is into prescription drugs. Call 555-1277
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16.
Banana Crushing Bombshell!
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Bindy; 47; Nuclear Cove, NFLD
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Ever wondered what it is like to be trampled by a slutty MILF in red sandals? Well here I am! If you find pleasure in feet and love being crushed under toe I'm here to squash you blow by blow! Don't worry about my looks honey because you'll be drooling over my feet! I'll have you licking my Calluses in no time baby! Call me now slave boy! 555-7845
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17.
Justin Timberlake Look-A-Like!
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Bert; 62, Moncton, NB
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Attractive, energetic, funny, mature ex-con. My wanderin' eyes are wanderin' towards you! In Need of sex and drugs! Lets have a good time and enjoy the moment! Find me and your mine! I'll be wanderin' around the food court in Highfield square, Moncton after daybreak droolin' over that special someone!
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2007 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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