Here is my ever-growing collection of some of the best clean ethnic jokes that I've come across. If you are from one of the countries or races that these jokes refer to, please try not to be too offended; and remember, it's just words... unless they're true. At any rate, feel free to send me any jokes that you may have, and I'll post them here as well.
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Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke: |
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Three Immigrants
Fu, Bu, and Chu immigrated to the US from China. They decided to become American citizens and Americanize their names.
Bu called himself "Buck."
Chu called himself "Chuck."
And Fu - well, he had to go back to China.
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Three Irishmen
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, having left the pub a wee late one night, found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87. Good blood, those O'Grady's!"
"That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died. Aye, those O'Tooles are a hardy bunch, they are!" Just then, Shamus yells out, "Forget him, here's a fella that lived to be 145 years old!"
"What was his name?" ask Paddy & Sean. Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, to Dublin!"
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Construction Site
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says: to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of supplies". "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him.
So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him. The foreman is really ticked off now, and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from a closet and yells: "SUPPLIES!"
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Help from the KGB
A phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this the KGB?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the
State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his fire wood."
"This will be noted."
The next day, the KGB goons visit Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the fire wood is kept, break every piece of wood there, but find no diamonds. They swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
The phone then rings at Rabinovitz's house.
"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes."
"Did they chop up your firewood?"
"Yes, they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
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Fresh Baked Cookies
A first grade class comes in from recess. The teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." The teacher says "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.
The teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box." The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie.
The teacher then asks Mustaffa Machmoud what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
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Designed by Justin Jones
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