Here is my ever-growing collection of some of the best clean workplace jokes that I've come across. To the best of my knowledge these are just jokes and not based on actual facts; so please do not be offended if you have fallen victim to any similar circumstances. At any rate, feel free to send me any jokes that you may have, and I'll post them here as well.

Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke: Back to Home Page Back to Main Jokes Page Just Like You Who's the Boss Sweeping The Carpet Layer The Perfect Worker The Florist's Mistake Back to Main Jokes Page Back to Main Page

Home Just Like You      A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."      "Gosh, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted Smith. "You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."      The factory owner said, "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred!" Who's the Boss?      My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.      Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!" Sweeping      A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."      "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.      "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how." The Carpet Layer      A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.      "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.      As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway."      "Now," she said, "if only I could find my parakeet..." The Perfect Worker 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be 11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13 executed as soon as possible. Addendum:      That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.   Home