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Ezri@Mailcity.com 

So the top 10 lists are back by popular demand. So sit back and enjoy my strange sense of humor. 

 
Top 10 signs you're an obsessed Brood fan!

Entries with a star(*) by them indicate stuff that I'VE done or thought at one time or another ;-) 

10 - You phone around to all the dentists in your area to see who has the best prices on tooth capping.
9 - You refuse to date anyone who doesn't wear a trenchcoat and wraparound shades.
8 - You scream profanities and hurl popcorn at the TV when you see the Brood get screwed out of another win. *
7 - You grind your teeth VERY loudly any time anyone mentions that Gangrel and Luna are married. *
6 - Whenever you see The Brood on Raw, your vocabulary is reduced to three words: "Cool" and "Oh Baby".
5 - You think it's sOooOooOoooOoooooOoOooOOOo cute when Gangrel makes buggy eyes and shows off his tongue ring. 
4 - You headbang to The Brood's entrance music. *
3 - When drinking red wine, you can't resist the urge to stand on your chair and spew the stuff all over the place.
2 - When someone p*isses you off, you point at them and scream "There's gonna be a bloodbath!!!" * (I only did it ONCE! And it was to another WWF fan, so he got the joke and didn't think I was TOTALY strange!)
1 - You make dumb@$$ top 10 lists like this one! *

Top 10 ways to drive The Brood nuts: 

10 - Keep calling Gangrel 'Count Chocula'. Talk to him in a Hungarian accent. 
9 - Continuously ask Edge and Christian how they keep their hair so shiny and manageable. If this doesn't work, ask if you can braid it so they can look all funky like the Road Dawg. 
8 - Play 'Keep Away!!' with Gangrel's goblet. 
7 - Recite the Seinfeld 'Puffy Shirt' routine over and over. 
6 - Two words : Fire extinguisher. 
5 - Steal all their Danzig and Type-o-Negative CDs and replace them with Neil Diamond and Rod Stewart. Claim you have no IDEA what happened to their CDs. Later, let them find you using their CDs as coasters. 
4 - Tell 'em all that they shouldn't wear underwear under their tights. If they ask why, reply: "When it happens, you'll know..." 
3 - Sneak into the locker room with a video camera. After getting some NICE footage, get their attention and then run off screaming "ALL RIGHT! INSIDE EDITION'LL GIVE ME FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS FOR THIS TAPE!!" 
2 - Replace the 'blood' in Gangrel's goblet with Borscht. Then he'll have a REASON to spit it out. (For those of you that don't know, borscht is a beet drink. And it's gross, take my word for it!) 
1 - Carry around a huge duffel bag filled with crosses, stakes, and holy water. When they ask what it's for, eye Gangrel suspiciously and reply "Just in case..." 

Top 10 things I've learned from watching WWF: 

10 - Booze + Potty Mouth + Disrespect for Authority = Unparalelled popularity 
9 - Getting smacked by steel chairs and piledriven through tables doesn't hurt as much as I think it does. 
8 - Acting like a b*tch is okay as long as you're gorgeous 
7 - Showing pride in being from USA is good. Showing pride in being from any other country is bad. 
6 - You can destroy somebodys expensive car by filling it with cement LIVE ON TAPE and not get in any trouble. 
5 - A persons popularity (P) equals the number of times the word Ass is spoken (A) raised to the exponant of the number of times the 'finger' is flashed (f) ------- P = A^f 
4 - The Rock has created a whole new language which I have dubbed 'Rock-eese'. ("This is ten pounds of monkey crap in a five pound bag!" Translation: "The Rock is REALLY pissed off!") 
3 - Nobody really knows what the term 'nugget' means. 
2 - Women with frizzy 80's hair, no muscles, and little to NO wrestling ability ALWAYS end up with the WWF womens championship, while experienced, REAL female wrestlers are destined to loose it, or in some cases, not get a title shot at all. 
1 - Everybody wants HEAD!!! 

Top 10 rejected Rock 'catch phrases': 

10 - I got yer monkey ass right heeeere! 
9 - This is 5 pounds of monkey crap in a 10 pound bag! ....Wait, that's no good..... 
8 - What does everybody want? THE ROCK! 
7 - If you're not down wit da ROCK, I got two words for ya! Monkey Crap! 
6 - For the thousands in attendance, and for the millions watching at home.... LLLLLLLLLLLLets get ready to ROCK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! 
5 - Who's NEXT? 
4 - *with sock puppet on hand* Everyone, I want you to meet Mr. Rocko! 
3 - ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! I'm in the ZONE! 
2 - *Sniff* Can't we all just get along? 
1 - And that's the bottom line 'cause The Rock said so!!!