Johnny Combat G.I. Joe You fought in ‘Nam And bruised your toe You got shot in the head With a King-sized bed You fought in ‘Nam And ate some lead.   Johnny Combat G.I. Joe You fought in ‘Nam And met a Ho He offered you cake and coffee to eat Until you found out He was an alcoholic deadbeat.   So then he tied you up to a stake And tied your dog too, which he planned to bake So he lit the match And said, "ROT IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!" So you burned like a crisp, Yet later lived to tell.   So down you went In the hellish flames, And you even met a dude named James. He said, "Hello, Johnny Combat G.I. Joe, My brother is Sesame Street Satanic HELLMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   Elmo threw you out of his realm. You fought in ‘Nam And killed Jesse Helms.   Johnny Combat G.I. Joe, You now work for the CIA And... uh... Joe. You drive a white Bronco And like to mow!!!!!!!!!! And go by the name of O.J., And hide by day.   So your mind flashes back To the days of Gore, And Mister Adams Makes wooden doors. So Johnny Combat G.I. Joe, You’ve lived your life, And now it’s time to go. Written by James and Mr. bivA, and of course, the little people.