Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
undefined
undefined  
 
 
 

Kosmikloud
Fundraising Ideas   / Party Games  /  Pets  / Humor Index / Cherry Floats /  Home


 
Abbott and Costello Meet Windows 95 

Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:    Yes, Lou?
Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbott:    That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig 
           hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:    That's terrific, Lou
Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbott:    You will in time.
Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbott:    Oh?
Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbott:    Well, I don't know-
Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going 
           to train me.
Abbott:    Really?
Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard 
      that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:    That's true.
Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want
      to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know 
           how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott:    I did.
Costello:  When?
Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:    To shut off the computer.
Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbott:    Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbott:    Start
Costello:  Start what?
Abbott:    Start button.
Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbott:    Shut down.
Costello:  You don't have to get rude!
Abbott:    No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"
Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am 
           willing to press the Stop button, the End button
           and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their
           right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:  But that's what you do.
Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at 
           green lights.
Abbott:    Don't be ridiculous.
Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about
    time we started this conversion.
Abbott:    What are you talking about?
Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
Dinner Guest

It was the  first Thanksgiving 
                                that we had spent together. 
                    I was very anxious for him to meet my family. 

                                                      
                            There was Grampa and Gramma, 
                                  my Mom and my Aunt, 
                               along with  several cousins... 
                                   all seated at the table. 
 And boy oh boy was he a nervous wreck,he was trying so hard to make a good
                                         impression.. 
                                                      

                     He had earlier confessed to me  that he wasn't 
     feeling all that well ~ that he had an upset stomach ~ with a lot of gas... 
   Well would you believe that only 5 minutes after we had sat down to eat, he
              couldn't hold it back and we all heard the trumpet sound. 
                                   Suddenly my Gramma 
                        looked under the table and called out to 
                                       our dog  Max... 
                                                       

                          Max get out from under 
                                      the table !! 

      "Oh what a relief ," He whispered to me,"She thought it was the dog !" 
                         A little while later it happened again ~ 
                                  but louder and longer... 
               Again my Gramma, looked under the table and yelled , 
              "Max Get out from under the table !!" 
                                   "Whew" safe again... 
 All the dinner plates were collected, and our dessert was being served. I noticed
                            how fidgety he started to become. 
                     And oh no, once again we heard that familiar 
                    sound, only much louder and longer than ever. 
                                                   

                                                       

                        All was quiet around the table, and then 
                                  Gramma spoke again... 
                         "Max, get out from under 
                                       the table 
                    Before he craps all over you!" 
                                                  

                                           hee hee 
                     needless to say he made a lasting impression ! 


 

More Pages - 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10
under construction