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For all those men out there... who are in relationships.
December 22, 2003
Here are a few funny things to do when seeing Return of the King:
- Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
- At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! >Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
- Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
- Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
- Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
- Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
- When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
- At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
- Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
- When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
- Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
- During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
- Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
- Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
... Oh yeah, not to give away the ending or anything, but Aragorn becomes king, Frodo destroys the ring, and Saruman isn't really dead.
December 13, 2003
I would like to officially thank alcohol advertising for all of the good times, laughs and entertainment you provide my fat ass when I sit on the couch and am too lazy to change the channel during commercial breaks. As I learnt today on TV, in a relationship, it's always better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
December 11, 2003
I dislike the fact that everyone is finishing exams around me and I'm stuck writing papers and studying. Of course, one should note that the occasional "study beer" is warranted due to one of my oh-so-good-but-distracting friends. Whatever... I highly recommend the study beers. They make you get off of your ass and go out to party/relax for a bit, which is nice. To study beers and television, which collude to distract me away from my precious studies... sniff
Oh yeah, by the way, one of my boys had the fortunate opportunity to see Return of the King yesterday in a special sneak preview. He said it was AWESOME!!!! But super-long so you have to remember to go to the bathroom beforehand. Anyways, I'm probably going to wait until I get back to Vancouver to see it... probably. I'm really interested on how they're going to end the movie, because in the book they follow the hobbits back to the Shire etc. and I always found that scene valuable (in that it taught a lesson about evil spreading etc) but anti-climactic. I figure that they can't really end an epic movie in an anti-climactic fashion, so I'm kinda curious about how they're going to portray it.
December 8, 2003
I have noticed that I have a lot of stuffed animals in my room. That's weird because when I was growing up, I only had one... maybe two. And that's because I was little. But now I'm old and stuff... and I have oodles of them! Why is it that girls think that stuff animals are appropriate gifts for guys? They're not! It's a way of you muscling your presence into my room! And then people who come over occasionally give me a strange look... and ask me why I collect Care Bears.
PS. Best winter remedy ever: put your comforter or duvet in the dryer for 10 minutes until it gets all warm... then take it out and proceed to watch the Playboy 50th anniversary television coverage.
PPS. My list of coolest guys in the world:
1. Hugh Hefner
2. James Bond
3. P. Diddy (or whatever his name is now)
4. Jack Bauer
5. Seth Cowan
December 7, 2003
So I have exams this term. Like lots of them. What's up with that? I've been sufficiently lucky to squeak away the past two years with only one or two exams at Christmas time.. but this time I've been struck with three! Oh how my brain yearns for a break. Well, okay, it's not a lot. Even when you add in a paper that I have due. Hahaha... I laugh nonchalantly at all of you Queen's people who have exams. And to you UBC people too. And to those of you in the UK with 70% papers due. I laugh at you all... and then hope you don't hit me when you see me.
On a completely random, yet cool, note: we have a Christmas tree in the apartment! It's sweet... it's big... it smells nice... it was heavy. But yup, it's lit like a grade 9 from Saints and is gleaming beautifully in our main room ... it even has a crooked star on top. Of course, we're going to have to get working on wrapping some presents to put under the tree... or maybe even some empty boxes, so they look like presents. Whatever. Anyways, it spreads joy to everyone who sees it, so I suggest that y'all come by and gaze in wonder at what you might see as an average Christmas tree, but what I see as a lot of vacuuming.
Also was fortunate enough to discover the DVD extras to Zoolander. Fully sweet. I do believe that my favourite quote from that movie is now, "I like playing chess. I think that if I was to be any chess piece, I would be the cow." Cool. I like cows. They moo. They also warm my feet with leather boots.