Rachel's rants, the good, the bad, and the just plain stupid. What about the ugly you ask? This is pop music fool, there isnt any ugly.
OK, I am a sane, rational, mature young woman (read: NOT a teeny bopper), and I understand that there is no way Nsync is gonna be reading this. I am sure they have someone they pay to read all this. Maybe that is the real reason they keep Steve around. Hell, maybe it all sits around in some poor email account and just even gets read, ever. And I can understand that, but Im gonna share my opinions anyway, because its one in the morning and what the hell else do I have to do. NOTHING, thats what. In case you've never been to Maryland, it is not exactly party central. I live in the frigging boonies, but thats besides the point.
All right, I heard members of the Nsync fan club or whatever get priority seating and soundcheck passes, shit like that. And I thought to myself thats pretty cool, I could use something like that, so being the looser that I am, I went to nsync.com to see about it. Do you want to know what you get for about 30 bucks?
Right, cause I really need to see more pictures or hear more facts about them. OOO, and I really want an Nsync lunchbox or thong or whatever the hell they are trying to sell to unsuspecting teenies these days. I think I'll spend my 30 bucks on some new shoes or something instead. And next time Nsync comes to town, I will just stick with my nosebleed seats, thanks. The people up there are more fun, anyway. I am saying this in the hopes that whoever is reading this will bring it to the attention of the guys of nsync, and maybe they will realize how insane that is. Then again, they also have their own lip gloss. Im starting to think they either have no self respect, or morals when it comes to overmarketing themselves.
But just incase you think I sent you this email (you being nsync/poor guy being forced to read this/my computerscreen) just to bitch, I didn't. Well it may have started out that way, but now that I have a captive audience, so to speak, Im gonna keep going. Why? because its cheaper then therapy, and I will never know whether or not anyone reads this, so I can go on in my happy little bubble of ignorance, believing what I want to believe. Actually, I will probably forget all about this email, and go on not really caring if this ever got read, but where's the fun in that?
aiight, lemme just say too the poor nsync employee that may or may not be reading this: Stop. stop reading this. Do Not put yourself through this. Unless you really have nothing better to do, or are really in need of a good laugh. I've been told I'm quite amusing, but I bet you get lots of fan letters that are pretty funny. Just out of curiosity, how many marriage proposals do they get a day? Who gets the most? Ya'll should keep a tally or something.........just a suggestion.
OK, if you are still reading. Here are some questions I would like to ask *nsync:
1.Have you ever seen any of the sites people make about you?
(if not, you are missing out, its some pretty funny shit)
2. Do you know people write fan fiction about you?
(there are definitely some you should see. I would pay money to see your reactions to some of them)
3.Why do you have "email nsync" when you don't actually read the emails?
4. Why are there always empty floor seats at concerts?
You should have someone from security bring people down from the cheap seats into the floor seats if no one shows up to claim them by an hour into the concert. Im sorry, but it pisses me off to spend 70 bucks on a "cheap" ticket, only to spend the night staring down at empty seats. I am going to a Linkin Park concert in a few weeks and its general admission. Maybe ya'll should take a page from their book.
5. How come you never show up in the audience during the concert?
You always say you wish you had more contact with your fans, what better way then to block off some cheap seats and just show up in them and do a song from up there. (just a tip, you will find more of the normal fans up there. The stalkers and the ones who think they are your soul mates all sold their kidneys on ebay to get front row.)
6. Why do you never sing accapella?
this is the one that really gets me. You sound so amazing when you do. It should be a crime to be able to do it that well and just not. You say you want to be considered "artists". Did it ever occur to you that you would have alot more credibility if you did some more accapella. No no one would question you with voice like that. Its what separates you guys from the Backstreet boys (altho they got some respect from me at the United We Stand concert, only to lose it by singing drowning. I think that could quite possibly be the worst song ever written. Or maybe its Anticipating, that song off britneys new album. I have nothing against britney. I like most of her stuff. But anticipating has got to be the biggest piece of crap I have ever heard. With the exception of drowning, of course.)
7. oh, am I still asking questions? right then, When are you going to acknowledge that Wade actually is the 6th member and you are actually *ensync? (ok, so that was just for fun. God, I need new friends)
8. Why don't you get P. Diddy to remix or produce anything?
you have the neptunes, and they rock, but where is the love for Puffy?
9. Will you please, please, please do a song with Usher?
It would make my year. really it would. Pretty please? damn, well can't blame a girl for trying.
ok, I'm gonna say one last thing before I find someone else to give my unwanted opinions to: You don't give your fans enough credit. thats right, you heard me. They are (for the most part) a group of sane, rational girls. I'm sure you only meet the psycho ones, because no one else is crazy enough to camp out in the street for meet and greet passes, or break into your house, or whatever other fucked up things they do to meet you. So, in a roundabout way thats your own fault, but Im not gonna go into that right now. My point is this, whenever you dont tell the press about a girlfriend or whatever the excuse is always something about the fans. I know some people will say bad things about you, but there will always be haters, not matter what, and that just means these people aren't fans. (and I can say all this because I know no one is reading. Who knew there was an upside to having nsync to know you exist. actually, I can think of several, but thats neither here nor there.)
Some people will say they are happy, you deserve to be happy, blah blah blah. But for the most part, most of us don't give a flying fuck. I'm only saying this because I feel sorry for the poor girls who deal with this shit. Its like, don't answer questions if you don't want to, but there's no reason to flat out lie. And there was something about Joey wanting to do a role on the sopranos (which I thought was pretty cool) but he didnt because it would "confuse the fans" First of all, who are these fans. Did they actually ask any of the fans how they felt? no, they decided for them. Just like they decided the fans' opinion on everything else. Not that he needs the fans' permission. Do they not realize they are the top pop act in the world? They can do whatever the fuck they want. And if they really do worry about the fans' opinion still, they could always ASK. but really, as long as they continue to make good music, the fans cant really expect anything else from them. Thats the end of it right there.
ok, now that Im done with my ranting, and I am fairly sure anyone who started out reading has given up along time ago, I'm gonna go. But before I do, I have only one piece of advice:
so thats it, my profound bit of wisdom. Im betting you wished you'd stopped when I told you too didn't I? Maybe next time you'll listen to me. And for god's sake, who the hell are your stylists, and why hasn't anyone fired them yet?
*rachel*
Hi everyone,
This is a message from the fan club. Thanks so much for writing to *NSYNC. We forward all cards, e-mails, letters and gifts to the guys...... directly to their homes!! They love to hear from you and they love to open their BIG gift boxes. It's like Christmas every other week or so! (grin) A big thank you goes out to all of you for your support! Like Chris has said many times "without our fans...there is no *NSYNC!"
Please write to the guys at the fan club address. We are their only official fan club worldwide. If you'd like more information on how to join the official *NSYNC fan club please write to us at:
*NSYNC Official International Fan Club
PO Box 5248
Bellingham, WA
USA 98227
or e-mail us at: howdoijoinNSYNCclub@radiant.net
The above e-mail address is set up with an automated reply with more information on your fan pack materials and a registration form. In addition to the fan pack you'll receive 4 issues of "Stayin' *NSYNC" color magazine in your membership year. We'll keep you updated on confirmed *NSYNC tour dates, priority seating fan club ticket purchase for all *NSYNC tour shows and Sound Check Party Pass information. These parties are for fan club members and winners are drawn by lottery from all requests sent in for each show by members.
Thanks again for writing to the guys!
Best wishes,
Gerri Karr
fan club manager for *NSYNC
so I do what any self respecting (kinda) fan would do, I forward the email to "the guys of nsync" (we all know they don't read those. And can ya blame em?)with a little note letting them know in small words that they could understand just what I thought of their little email and what exactly they could do with their fan club.
Amusingly enough, the same email came again in response to the one I just sent them. People amuse me sometimes. Their complete lack of a functioning brain makes me smile. You gotta wonder what genious is getting paid to run that little opperation. Where can I get a job like that? It requires zero coherent thought, alto I'm sure I could pull it off with a *little* more style. O well, no one said the people at Jive had taste. *sigh*
previous rants
my personal opinion on JC's hair (pass me the scisors please!)
What started as a review of the United We Stand Concert in D.C.
further proof that insanity is hereditary
Battle of the boybands