A "golf widow" concedes that if she is ever to see her husband she needs to learn the game. So she goes to the country club and signs up for lessons with the golf pro.
They get out to the course and the pro instructs her to hold the club as she would her husband's organ. She hits the ball and the pro exclaims, "Beautiful!! Great shot, right down the center of the fairway!
Now, take the club out of your mouth and we'll go for distance." A man and wife were playing in their club's annual "Guys & Dolls"
tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife had insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the men's. Unfortunately he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly. At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband. Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged 3 inches into your wife's brain, which was the the cause of death. But, we have found something else that realy puzzles us. What is it? asked Mr.Davies. Well, said the doctor, we also found a golf ball lodged 6 inches into her anal cavity.The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was just my Mulligan!" There was once a man, playing alone, and he walked up to the tee and asked the foursome in front of him if he could possibly play through. The problem was that this single was deaf, and he couldn't talk. He ended up writing the request on a piece of paper and gave it to the foursome, at which one of the golfers tore the paper up and laughed in his face. About the seventh hole, the deaf man was getting irritated with the slow play by the others and decided he was fed up with it. The foursome was just about to hit their second shots, when all of a sudden a ball flew by their heads almost hitting the man who tore up the paper. They all looked back and all they could see was the deaf man holding up four fingers.
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