Chugar, Chugar, Honey, Honey....

"Two lesbians just invited me to go fishing......true story..."
XXX
I'm spending my friday night with Captain Morgan , Captain America and Megatron.....just like in the bible
Dear freshly purchased Bottle of Wine....bottle of Coconut Vodka...AND bottle of Dark Rum.....please do your best ......thank you in advance.
"Its like your weiner will be cleaner when you're done."
I'm pretty sure I'm the sweetest pop star ever! (channeling Robyn)

"Hypothetically speaking - if you were to start showcasing clever facebook status' on your website - mine currently may be a good  place to start.....hypothetically speaking of course"

 "Foot of new snow - check. Shotgun and watertower to climb - check...."

"What kind of world do I live in where 'Anita Lay, go paint Burning Sensation' makes sense?"

"Did you just say velveeta cheese print dress?"
(that would be velvet cheetah print)

"Who's your daddy, no-nuts? Not to be confused with 'who's your daddy donuts' on the corner of Pembina and Gril."

"They were broke in August, and there were bugs in August."
(are these things related?)

"P.S. Worst number, ever, Mitch..."

"Spunk'll do that to you."

"It's nature's...uh...I got nuthin'."

"What's wrong, Urethra, Dutchie comin back up on ya?"

"Okay, I'm going to eddish"
(like going to bed, only drunker)

"I too am a willing helper monkey........"

"Oh, she said 'pussy'. I was there; she said it."
(see Abbie's quotes)

"Dutchie! I said Canadian ICE, not Canadian--the Canadian ICE is to the left of the celery--LEFT!"

"She's so beautiful; I'd so do her....brother."

"I just want to thank you for that hand down my pants..."

"That's just nice."
-could be about just about anything this weekend

"I'm having my stroke in installments."

SCHMOO: Manitoba is like drought-land for me.
CHUGAR: Not me! Manitoba is the promised land!

"I am sure that I was both dainty and fabulous the entire time i was there -but the question remains - How the hell can I remember?"

"I barely have 2 brain cells left to rub together to try and get a spark. that will teach me for going to calgary for 12 days!"

"I really do believe that: Yada broke the bed! She's fat! She broke the bed! should read:
Yada broke the bed! She's fat! Kricket! Wake up! Are you awake? Yada broke the Bed! She is fat!
thank you for your consideration...."

"Yada broke the bed! She's fat! She broke the bed!"

"Fuck her and her website."

"Smarten up and eat your butter."
(to Symara)

"I love you, and I like her alot."
-to Jaimie, re Abbie

ABBIE: Are you eating crumbs off the dirty table?
CHUGAR: Do you need to ask?

"They are either having sex or eating chicken"
on the sounds from kim and abbie's hotel room

"Why would I spend sixty dollars on soap, when I can purchase a little Haitian boy to wash me for that price"

Kricket "...and what did we do for 500 kilometers, look for dead deer."
Chugar "I think maybe, we should look for the live ones"

"Kricket's bed looks like she was tucked in by the maid, and my bed looks like I was wrestlin' badgers all night!"
on Sharing a Hotel Room with Kricket

"There has been so many hands on my junk this weekend, I need a CSI team to decipher the fingerprints!"

"You know you got problems when even Kim Possible looks at you and says, 'Ooooo girl! That's too much!' "

"At last I have reached my page and i never have to be funny again! And now that i see my page i can visibly see an increase in my dainty levels! Oh and p.s. about the title .......the chad KNOWS he's funny!"

CHAD: I would marry a man made of restaurant grilled cheese sandwiches.
THANE: You'd probably just eat him.
CHAD: Yeah, but no love lasts forever.

KIM: Bring it!
CHAD: It's already au gratin!

"Once you've been touched by Kricket, you stay touched."

Come on out to regina; one elevator, 3 floors.
(in hick accent, on coronations of past)

"Wow, I'm super-fancy."

"My dainty is down twenty points."

"Enough with this 'banter' shit--I'm going for my ten!"

"It's like watching VIP in here--I'm losin' IQ points as we speak..."

"I'm baby-stabbing angry!"

"You're born with homosexuality...like you're born with blue eyes or a dead twin..."
 always the voice of positive thinking...

"Your eyes must be drag queens cos they're out for one night, but they're packing bags for a week!"

"He doesn't usually dress like Liza til after midnight."
 commenting on Dave's sparkly t-shirt
 
 

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