(continued........)


part 16~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I lost track of how long I was at the library. I just kept reading and reading, wanting to absorb every bit of information I could. Finally, when my eyes were hurting so bad I could barely see, I went back home. I made myself a sandwich and went upstairs to my room. After I ate, I put some music on and laid down on my bed, all the information I'd just read running through my head. I fell asleep and didn't even know when Kate came in from work. It was early the next morning when I woke up. I kind of moped around the house, cleaning and watching TV, trying to kill time until I had to go to work that afternoon. About 11am, the phone rang. I answered and it was my boss asking if I could come to work early because she wasn't feeling well. I went of course, glad to have something to do with myself. That day and the next, I worked more than my usual shift, trying to take my mind off Lance. But it didn't work. In the time lapses when there weren't any customers, my mind would always drift back to him.
I would always shake it off though and go on working. The two days after that, I worked full double shifts. Finally on that last day, which happened to be Thursday, my boss came in and told me to go home and that she didn't want to see me until Monday. She said that I'd done more than my share of work that week and needed a vacation.
When I went home that night, Kate tried to get me to go out with her, Ginni, and Elise, but I just didn't feel like it. So they went on without me. Again, I was up in my room listening to music, when it hit me. I was in love with him and I didn't care who or what he was. I had to have him back. I rushed around, barely able to think straight and packed a small bag with a few changes of clothes and other necessities. Then I wrote Kate a note saying that I was going to look for Lance and that I would be back by Monday sometime, but hopefully sooner.
I just got in my 4-Runner and drove. I was going somewhere, but I didn't know where. I hadn't the first clue where to look for him, but it seemed as though I was driving with a destination in mind. I decided not to fight it and just go with the feeling, hoping that it would lead me to him. I spent that night and the next in motels, though I hardly slept. I wasn't even paying attention to where I was. On Saturday afternoon, as I was driving, I suddenly got the feeling that he was very close. I pulled the 4-Runner over to the side of the road and started walking. My legs had a mind of their own and carried me through what looked to be an alfalfa field and into a small group of trees. My eyes searched the shadows for him. I could hear a creek bubbling somewhere ahead of me. Walking slower, I kept looking and all of a sudden he was there about 20 feet in front of me. All I could see was the back of his head, but I started walking faster. As I got closer, he turned around and saw me coming towards him. He lept to his feet and ran to me, closing the last little bit of distance between us. I threw myself into his arms and breathed in the scent of him. I felt a wetness on my cheek and pulled back to see tears streaming down his face.
"What is it?" I asked, with tears of my own threatening behind my eyelids.
"How...why..." He started, but I cut him off with a kiss. Just a simple one, with no tongues involved, just enjoying the feel of his lips against mine. He was the one who broke the embrace.
"You shouldn't be here." He tried to sound convincing, but the pain showed clearly on his beautifully pale face. "You've got to go home. Now."
"No." I said. "I'm not leaving without you."
He pulled completely away from me then and started walking off.
"Lance!" I cried and fell to my knees in the soft earth. He stopped then, as if trying to make a decision.
"Please don't leave me again. I need you." I called to him. I looked up and saw that he was still standing there in the same spot, as if he was unable to move. He couldn't make himself walk away from me, but he couldn't take those steps back again. I got up and went to him, refusing to give up. I slipped my arms around him and pressed my body close to his.
"But you know what I am." He spat out.

part 17~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took him by the shoulders and spun him around to face me. "Don't you understand that I don't care. Whatever you are, I can't help the fact that I love you. I can't live without you." I was pleading with him now.
I could see the battle that he was fighting with himself in his eyes. Then it stopped and he kissed me, and I knew that I had won.
After a while, we finally broke apart.
"Where's JC?" I asked him.
"He's around. I'm sure that he's not showing himself because he doesn't approve of what I'm doing." Lance told me.
"Will you come back with me?"
He looked at me and smiled. He took my hand and we walked back to the 4-Runner.
We took turns driving, not stopping to get a room, just sleeping in the SUV. Finally we made it back to my house early Monday morning.
It had been a long trip and I was both physically and mentally exhausted, so we went up to my room and went to sleep.
When we woke up, we went downstairs and saw that Kate was sitting in the kitchen.
She looked up from the newspaper she was reading. A brief look of shock crossed her face, then she smiled.
"Hello Lance." She said.
"Hi Kate. How have you been?"
"I'm fine, I suppose. Did JC come back with you?" She asked hopefully.
"No he didn't. I didn't even see him." I told her, knowing that she would be disappointed. She went back to reading the paper.
I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was a little after 9am. "You don't have to work today?" I said to Kate.
"It's a holiday silly, don't you remember?" She shook her head at me.
"Oh, yeah. I can't seem to think straight these days." I blushed a little.
"I wonder why?" She said sarcastically and laughed at me.
***
I went to work that afternoon. Lance came to visit me about an hour before my shift was over and walked home with me.
When we got to the townhouse, he kissed my cheek and said, "I'll be back in a little while."
I knew where he was going, so I didn't ask any questions. I went up to my room and went to sleep, knowing he would join me soon.
All that week, we pretty much followed the same routine, he would go out at night for a couple of hours and then come back to me. After a few nights, I had offered myself to him, but he refused, saying that he loved me too much to put me in that position.

part 18~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One morning, when I was fixing some breakfast for myself, waiting for Lance to wake up, there was a knock on the door. Instantly, I knew it was JC.
Calmly, I walked to the door and opened it. He just stood there, not saying anything.
"Come on in JC." I stepped aside and he walked into the living room. He turned to face me, still not speaking, just staring at me with his bright blue eyes.
"I'm going to tell you right now. If you're hear to make Lance leave again, it's not going to happen. He's happy being here with me and you're NOT going to take that away from him this time." While I said my piece, JC stood there watching me.
"Are you finished?" He asked.
"Yes"
"Good. I didn't come here to upset anyone. Especially Lance. If he's happy with you and you understand the risk you take, that's fine with me. I came here because I am lonely and tired of being alone. I would like to start over with everyone if that's okay."
With that established, JC followed me into the kitchen and sat down with me while I finished my breakfast. Neither one of us said anything. Just as I was getting up to put my plate in the sink, Lance came downstairs.
"Good.." He started to say, then he saw JC sitting at the bar with me. Mixed emotions crossed his face, and finally he said, "What are you doing here JC?"
"I was tired of being alone." JC said, just as he'd told me. "I'm not here to cause any trouble."
"I'm glad to hear that because I don't care for any more of your advice." Lance told him with a little bitterness in his deep voice.
"I guess I deserved that and the speech I got from your girlfriend. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you two and Kate." There seemed to be genuine regret in his eyes.
"Well Kate will probably be happy to see you." I told JC, trying to lighten the subject a little.
"I hope so because I think I would like to get to know her better." He replied.
The three of us sat around the house until I had to go to work.
"Are you guys going to be here when Kate gets home?" I asked before I walked out the door.
"Yes, we should be." Lance said and JC nodded his head in agreement.
"Okay, well when she gets here, Lance you stay for a little bit to make sure she takes JC being back okay, then come see me."
"I will." He kissed me softly on the lips and stood in the doorway until I rounded the corner of the building. Lance and JC kept their word and were watching TV when Kate came home. She closed the door behind her and hung her keys up by the door. When she turned around to say hi to Lance, she stopped when she saw JC.
"I seem to be having that effect on people today." He said getting up to greet her. He walked to where she was standing and drew her into a hug. She was stiff and uncomfortable in his arms, but he didn't let go and she softened and hugged him back.
"So, um, what brings you back?" Kate asked him, uncertain of what to say.
"I wanted to be with my best friend and the only other people I care about." He replied.
Lance took that as a sign that they were going to be fine and needed some time to talk and got up off the couch. "I'm going to see Dian. You two be okay here by yourselves?"
"We'll be fine." Kate told him and he walked out the door.

part 19~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So..." Kate said and looked at JC.
"So..." JC said.
They just sat there for a minute staring at each other and not saying anything.
Finally, Kate asked JC, "So what made you decide to come back?"
"I got tired of being alone. I'm not uncapable of feeling, you know." JC snapped.
"Why do you always have to be so hateful? I was just trying to make simple conversation." Kate shot back at him. JC opened his mouth to continue the argument, then closed it with a sheepish look on his face. Instead, he got up and walked outside. He stood on the walkway by the railing looking out into the darkness.
Kate walked up behind and tentatively slipped her arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry." He said and turned to face her.
"It's alright." She whispered and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She turned and started to go back inside, but he caught her by the arm and pulled her back to him. His piercing blue eyes searched hers for a clue to what she was feeling. Did she know what he was? And what if she did? He didn't want to think about it anymore and brought his mouth down on hers with an intensity he hadn't known until then.
She seemed startled at first, then sank into his arms and returned the kiss with as much fervor.

***one month later***
JC had taken to staying at the townhouse with us too. Lance slept in my room, so JC took his place on the couch each night. Somehow, without anyone telling her, Kate had figured out what was going on. She came to me one night when they were gone and asked me about it. I told her the truth. She didn't seemed shocked, or repulsed by the fact. She just accepted it. Our lives went on as normal. Kate and I both worked and came home to Lance and JC every night.
One night when Kate and JC had gone to see a movie, I was left alone at the house while Lance went out on his nightly errand. I had known for a long time that I was in love with him and was pretty sure he felt the same way about me. But there was that one thing standing in our way. I would grow old and die and he would stay the same as he was now forever. The decision made in my head, I went upstairs and prepared my room. I closed the blinds and drew the curtains. Taking some candles out of the hallway, I set them up around the room. Satisfied with the effect, I went and took a shower knowing that Lance would be back soon. When I got out, I brushed out my hair and put on a touch of make up. Searching through my dresser, I found what I wanted. I slipped the long, silk nightgown over my head and waited.
A few minutes later, Lance came walking through the door and his eyes widened with the scenario before him.
"What's all this for?" He asked me.
"I want to be with you."
"You are with me. I'm here. I can't give you anything else and you know that."
"Yes. You can. There is one thing you can give me. I want to be with you. Like this." I indicated myself, as I was now. "Forever." I looked straight into his eyes and saw the realization dawn there.
"No. I can't." He whispered.
"Why not? I love you and you love me, I hope. I don't want this to ever go away." I rose from where I'd been sitting on the bed and went to him, taking his hands in mine. "It's what I want Lance. Please give it to me."
The emotion that showed on his face then was indescribable. He seemed happy and confused at the same time.
"I want to be with you too. And I do love you. But do you understand, really understand, what this will mean for you and your life? It will be over as you know it." His tone was serious, but there was a hopefullness just under the surface.
"Yes." Was my simple answer.
We laid back, together, on the soft mattress. He caressed my face and kissed me lovingly, holding me tighter than ever before.
"Are you absolutely sure you want this?" His voice was soothingly ethereal in my ear.
I pulled him closer to me, urging him to continue. I felt his mouth warm on my neck, then a brief piercing pain. Then I was drifting nowhere, and everywhere. It was exquisite. I felt myself weakening to the point of unconsciousness. Just when I was about to plunge over the edge into blackness, he pulled away.
He lifted his wrist and I looked at him in confusion, then saw the answer glistening there in the candlelight. I brought his arm to my lips and indulged myself without a second thought. I felt the life flowing back into my body. My strength returned. My senses sharpened. I felt when it was enough and pulled back.
I looked into Lance's eyes and saw love shining there. We held each other.
"Go to sleep my love. When you wake up, we'll look on forever together." He said and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

THE END

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