Cry On The Shoulder Of The Road
Loryn took one last look at the house that had been her home for 4 years and backed out of the driveway. She had finally made the decision to leave all the hurt and and the pain behind. She trudged through the last 2 years of her marriage profoundly unhappy, but determined to make the marriage last. But she was all out of determination. She had no more yelling to do, no more tears to cry. This morning, as soon as Joey had left for work, she'd packed up everything that would fit in her Dodge Durango. I was almost noon now and she wanted to hit the road.
I'm rolling out of Bakersfield
My own private hell on wheels
But this time, I'm gone for good
Oh she'd tried leaving before. But he'd always talked her into coming back. And she'd never packed an of her stuff. A few times she'd taken a change of clothes if she happened to mad enough to stay the night at a girlfriend's house. After she'd been sweet talked into going back home, things would get better for 2 or 3 weeks. But then Joey always reverted back to his old ways. He'd go out with his single friends to the bar every weekend and come home in the wee hours of the morning in a drunken stupor. Their sex life had never been much, for she had been brutally molested as a child. But in the last year, the only time they slept together was when Joey was drunk. It wasn't making love. It was closer to animalistic mating than anything else. He'd get his thrills and leave her cold and feeling used. Joey had never understood her problem with intimacy. Not even after she'd broke into a hysterical crying fit about 6 months into their marriage. His response had been a harsh "That's in the past Loryn. Get over it." She never forgiven him for those words. Not even now.
She drove through the small town that they had made their home in outside of Orlando. She looked at all the businesses that lined the narrow streets because she knew she wouldn't see them again for a long time.
I've never been this far before
Beyond the slammin of the back screen door
But you never loved me like you should
She stopped at the edge of town, near the entrance to the interstate. Briefly, thoughts about going back and trying one more time ran through her head. But she shook them off and pulled the car onto the almost deserted highway. She looked around her at the lack of traffic and realized that it was the middle of the week, so there wouldn't be many people traveling. She kept her foot on the accelerator until it reached the speed limit, then set the cruise control.
And there ain't no telling what I'll find
But I might as well move down the line
There's no comfort here in your zip code
She reached and turned on the radio, flipping through the stations until she found something that satisfied her mood. Then she got comfortable in the seat and prepared for a long drive.
I'd rather break down on the highway
With no one to share my load
And cry on the shoulder of the road
Before Loryn knew it, the sky was growing dark around her. She turned on the headlights and began looking for a place to stop for the night. She passed a billboard that announced a hotel 10 miles down the road. Looking down at the trip odometer, she saw that it said she'd gone 325 miles. She figured that was far enough for today, plus she was getting low on gas. A few more minutes and signs appeared for the hotel's exit number. Soon she saw the actual exit itself and started slowing down. She pulled into the parking lot and saw that it was a Days Inn. Nice, but not too expensive. She was limited on the money that she could spend until she found someplace to settle. Like most women, she hoarded money. The fact that Joey was a pop star helped a lot too. Over the past four years, she managed to pack away twelve thousand dollars. So she had enough to last her until she found another place to live and got a steady job. But she didn't want to be foolhardy with what she had. Who knew how long it would be until she felt she was far enough away. She got out of the car and stretched her arms and legs. Opening the back of the Durango, she pulled out the overnight bag she'd packed. Loryn wasn't stupid. She knew that she'd be stopping plenty of times and had prepared for motel stays like tonight. She went into the office and paid for the room in cash. She had credit cards, but she didn't want to use those just in case Joey decided to look for her. The room she'd been given was on the second floor, and she found the nearest set of stairs and trudged wearily up them. Once in the room, she laid her one bag down on the floor and took a shower.
She came out of the bathroom in just a towel and grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. When she got in bed and turned out the light, the loneliness hit her like a battering ram. She began to get the full idea of what she'd actually done. She lay there staring at the ceiling and finally fell asleep.
The next morning Loryn woke up feeling as if she hadn't slept at all. She sat up in the bed and rubbed her eyes, trying to erase the bad dreams she'd had during the night. She gathered her things and left the room, leaving the key on the bedside table. She stopped in the café by the hotel to get a bite to eat and was on the road again in less that an hour.
I makes me feel a little low
Steel guitar on the radio
And it's kinda scary the way these truckers fly
Loryn drove all morning, stopping only to refill her coffee mug. Around 11am, she finally decided to stop and get some lunch. She pulled into another rest stop and made her way to a back table in the small restaurant. Just as she sat down, her cell phone began to ring.
"Hello?" She answered, dreading who it might be.
"Loryn. It's me. Where are you? Just tell me and I'll come pick you up and we can talk about this." Joey said, with a little sadness in his voice.
Loryn sighed. She had to admit it was good to hear his voice. But she wasn't going to let herself get sucked back in by his charm. "I can't Joey. I have to do this. We've been trying to make this marriage work for 4 years now, and it hasn't happened yet. Frankly, I'm tired of trying. You don't understand me, and you never will. Just let it go and don't call me again." She hung up the phone before she changed her mind and went back to him. She silently prayed for strength in starting her life over.
So this is how leaving feels
Drinking coffee and making deal with the One above
To get me through the night.
The days passed quickly and Loryn tried pushing thoughts of Joey out of her mind. Finally it seemed as if she was getting over him, or at least for the time being. She came to a small town in Oklahoma and decided that this was where she'd make her new start. She went to a convience store and scanned the local newspaper for rental houses. She found a few one bedrooms for a nice price, and called the owners to set up showings. By the end of the day, she'd settled on one. It was quaint and cozy, set on the edge of town. She decided to get a room that night, and begin the task of buying furniture the next day.
Loryn woke the next morning in the hotel room with an excitement for her new beginning. It was early, but she had a lot of work to do. She contacted all the utility companies and thankfully she'd have gas and electricity by the end of the day. It would be two days before she could get the phone turned on though. That part of the work done, she visited the furniture store. She picked out a houseful of stuff, all in dark colors. With a little encouragement and a small additional fee, they agreed to deliver that day.
At the end of the day, Loryn sat on her new couch in her new house in a new town. She was exhausted, and understandably so. But she'd taken a big chunk out of the things she needed to do. All there was left was finding a decent job. She counted the money she had left, and found that she had about 4 thousand dollars left. She'd be fine until she did get a job, surely it wouldn't take too long. Joey entered her thoughts for a minute, but she pushed him away. Things were going too good for her to depress herself thinking about her old life.
And there ain't no telling what I'll find
But I might as well move down the line
There's no comfort here in your zip code
I'd rather break down on the highway
With no one to share my load
And cry on the shoulder of the road
Loryn convinced herself she'd be okay. The cards were falling just the way she wanted. She just had to keep her determination, and wait to see what the future held.
THE END
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