It had been ten years since we had helped Dave Mitchell first get elected to Congress and now we had come back to help in his next re-election campaign. Bret West and I had been on his campaign staff in 1982 and worked hard through three elections in that year--a primary, a runoff, and finally the general election. After that we each went off in different directions, but we had now come back to help Mitchell in what was probably the toughest election in his career, probably even tougher than that first one. Bret had gone to work on the staff of an established Senator in Ohio, and I had gone on to establish myself in law practice.
I told myself then that I would never get involved in political campaigns again in any significant way, but it was easier said than done. I got sucked into helping the local Democratic Party organization in trying to unseat Ronald Reagan in 1984 and helped a woman run for mayor in 1987 and another person try to remain in office as a State Senator in 1990. I swore that this 1992 Congressional race would be the last one.
Dave Mitchell was definitely in trouble this year. He had been one of the biggest offenders in the House check writing scandal, having written 612 bad checks. It was really not a big deal. Congress people, even Republicans, had been doing it for years with no problem Apart from the cadre of conservatives who had always been against Dave just because he was a Democrat, there were now a number of independents and Democrats who were down on him also. In August when Bret and I joined the campaign, he was not doing well in the polls with only 40% to his opponent's 39% with 20% undecided. His opponent was a young television sportscaster before he announced for Congress and had never had any other job.
We knew it would still be a tough uphill battle what with the current anti-incumbent mood all across the nation. Mitchell had started out behind in '82 because he wasn't as well known as the other candidates, but we had done a good job of getting out his record of accomplishments as a state representative to the public. It helped that we had good political consultants.
In 1982 we made it with a core three-person staff--Bret was the media liaison, I was the candidate's aide who went with him to functions and set up and planned the engagements, and Carla Wright was the campaign manager. Dave had known Carla longer than he had known either Bret or me and so trusted her more. Besides he was very concerned with getting the women's vote because he was afraid of attack from feminists.
Again in this election, I was supposed to try to go with Dave to as many events as possible. I had to keep track of what kind of questions people were hitting him with and try to anticipate what strategy to develop in response to any of those questions. I was also supposed to try to somehow remind Dave to be careful not to say the wrong thing as well as shield him from obtrusive people such as supporters of the opponent, reporters, and weirdos. All this sounded much easier in theory and was very frustrating to put into practice. Dave for one was not very amenable to being "handled" nor was the public. They wanted to talk directly to their Congressman.
Carla was hard to work with. Part of it was her fear that we might take her job away, but another part was that she really wanted to get in an all-woman staff. She had made sure that the second echelon staff was all women, and she tried to get both Bret and me out at different times. The power struggle went on quietly throughout the campaign. Dave just ignored the problem and kept going. I hated this at the time. I thought he should have done something about the situation even if it meant that I would be the one to get fired. Carla later got to go with Dave to Washington after he won, but she only lasted a little over a year. I heard she also had problems there with the staff below her.
In '82 I spent a lot of hours writing detailed position papers on various issues like the economy, the environment, women's rights. Bret liked them and tried to talk to Mitchell about publishing them as campaign literature. Dave said it sounded like a great idea and said, "Let's talk about it later." I had worked hard and put plenty of thought into those position papers, modeling them after similar detailed literature I had seen in the campaigns of George McGovern and Morris Udall when they ran for President. I thought that was the thing to do; that people would be impressed with such forthrightness.
Several weeks went by and Bret and I would bring it up again. Dave would say the same thing. It appeared we were being put off. We realized he was very busy and had a lot on his mind so we didn't push it. We asked a couple of more times and got the same answer with no decision to go ahead, then before we knew it the election came. I resented not being told it wasn't going to be done from the beginning. After the election I kept thinking about that and about all the time I had wasted on doing the research and writing the papers.
It was sometime afterward that I realized that never saying "no" was an advantageous trait that successful politicians either possessed naturally or were forced to develop. I realized how completely naive Bret and I had been not to realize what Dave was thinking all along, which was not to commit yourself to any position on the issues unless absolutely forced to. It would certainly have been much more risky to spell out his thoughts in detail in position papers and allow himself to be a sitting duck for the opposition as well as the press to be attacked at every possible opportunity. Besides why do it when the opposition wasn't going to be as forthcoming on their positions. Maybe McGovern, Udall, and Robert Bork had spelled out their views in admirable detail but had they won? And neither were the people demanding such detailed explanation nor would they even take the time to read and understand it all.
I also realized that the rule of not saying "no" also applied to the friction with Carla in the campaign. Dave dealt with it by not dealing with it. There was simply too much risk of offending someone. If he had fired or even just offended one of us, we might have gotten so angry that we would have gone to try to get revenge by going to the press or to the opposition with something damaging.
Mitchell this year is just as taciturn as he was in '82. I remember I was with him many hours a day for most of that year, but after the campaign was over I felt I still hardly knew him. He always played his cards close to his vest. He didn't reveal much about his personal life, didn't seem to have any really close friends, except fellow politicians who were more than eager to give him all kinds of advice, but there was clearly no closeness. From what Dave said sometimes, I got the idea he didn't trust most of them. You never knew which of them might turn against you and go blab confidences to the media and even the opposition.
One thing I learned was that it wasn't the kind of work I would ever want to go into. I was willing to help other people run for office, but I couldn't live having to watch my back so much of the time and having to worry about every little statement I might make. I do admire and appreciate those willing to endure all of it. Somebody has to do it.
I will say that Dave does have a good sense of humor and can take ribbing well. I remember that Bret and I would occasionally tell him in '82 that if he didn't like what the people were demanding of him by way of promises, he could always go to a busy downtown intersection, pull down his pants and moon everybody. Dave would just smile.
On the afternoon of Saturday, October 3, 1992, Bret and I met to try to pin down some points of vulnerability of the campaign 30 days before election day. After Bret and I went over the important current issues of substantive value--efforts to get a VA hospital, attempts to get money for different things like the county hospital, pollution abatement, and more--we discussed some personal vulnerabilities.
"We'll have to look out for the younger woman thing, I know," he said.
"That's always going to be a possible trap," I pointed out. "Our most vulnerable point on this one is going to be on Tuesday, at the Women's Political Front forum. I'm waiting for some dirty looks at least."
"Well, remember in '82 we were expecting the worse but nothing happened so I'm not too worried. We just have to keep up our guard."
"What the hell choice do they have? What are they going to do endorse Transic? They'd be crazy," I said.
"No, but they could decide not to endorse anyone and the papers would play it up as a big slap in the face of Mitchell."
"I'm not sure women's groups have that much clout even if the press is calling it "Year of the Woman,' I opined.
"Most women don't put that much stock in all that."
"Well, anyway, we're at the same point we were ten years ago. Remember Dave had just married Wendy and we were all real worried, but nothing ever came of it."
"Yeah, we have to remember not too get too worried about these things. I know one thing hasn't changed. Dave still worries a lot less about these things than we do."
Wendy was the young woman Dave had married just at the start of the '82 campaign, less than year after he had divorced his first wife. Wendy was almost 20 years younger than Dave. Now his latest wife, Trudy, was younger than Wendy.
I spent the rest of the afternoon returning phone calls for Dave, and I recognized many of them from ten years before. They were many of the same ones that had asked for work back then in putting up signs, handing out literature, etc. and were at it again. They were regulars at working for campaigns year in and year out depending on who paid them the most. Some of them actually did the work they were supposed to. I would have just as soon taken my chances and sent them away. Anyway the campaign wasn't doing too well on funds. Contributions were down significantly for an incumbent Congressman with all the negativity about government around.
One argument the prospective workers often used was that if we were Democrats, we should be more ready to hire people since we claimed to be the party of jobs. It was hard to argue with that, but it was my job to try to keep it all under control. Filter through the ones that would do good work for the campaign and at the same time keep the others hoping for an eventual possibility of work. You didn't keep them hoping and hanging on simply because you couldn't bear to tell them "no." The main reason for such prevarication was to stall them from going to the other side. All campaigns have to use this approach.
So with all that in mind I spent an hour that afternoon and many hours on other days talking calmly to these campaign workers, listening to their ideas on how we could easily win the election through their efforts and how we were wasting our money on buying television airtime plus all the war stories on how they had helped so many candidates in the past.
The Regal Room at the Airport Hilton Inn where the Women's Political Front meeting took place was packed to capacity with some people even having to stand. There must have been three hundred persons present. I recognized some of the women from before. They were activists who had participated in political events in the past. All were middle-class. I could see that Dave was tense about the meeting. Transic was there looking very confident. He was actually pro-choice on abortion and had gone on record as being for equal rights for women. It was hard to paint him as a raving rightist who was a threat to women's rights. He had only been married once and his beautiful wife was always by his side. Transic was 28 and had only been married two years. Dave and Trudy had decided that it was better for her to stay away from the meeting because there were simply too many members of the Front who were friends of either one of Dave's first two wives.
The first few questions were tame--about equal pay and government-supported child care. One of the questioners threw out the usual statistic about how women only earn 61% of what men do. Of course, they always neglect to mention an important factor: women overall don't make more because many of them stay happily on the mommy track for years to take care of children at home. They let their husbands bring most of the money. Then somebody asked if the candidates were in favor of any restrictions on abortion like requiring a waiting period and parental consent for minors. I know Dave didn't have a big problem with those restrictions. He hoped, like I did, that at least having some not too oppressive restrictions would assuage the anti-abortion zealots. We knew, however, that many of the women in the Front wouldn't see it that way. To them there was no compromising with the enemies of women's rights.
The woman asking the question looked intense. It was Dave's turn to answer the question first and he stammered a couple of times as was his wont whenever he got nervous and wasn't sure about what he wanted to say. He talked around the question as much as he could and essentially said that mandatory waiting periods helped women make a better choice. You could hear some grumbling in the room after the answer; then it was Transic's turn. His answer didn't differ that much, except that he came right out and said it was necessary to compromise with the other side. That seemed to get a number in the audience angry. One member blurted out, "How far are you willing to go to appease the other side?"
We didn't do too bad in that meeting, but none of the members were telling us Dave was a cinch for the endorsement. We would have to wait to find out later about their decision. They had a meeting after the candidates spoke to discuss whom they liked better.
The next candidates' forum we attended was with the Disabled American Veterans. Mitchell had always before pulled in the veteran vote because he had always been careful to give them as much as he could. This time he spent plenty of time bragging about the new VA hospital for El Seco that had just been voted funding in Congress. There were several questions about what services would be provided and when it would be built--boring stuff for the most part.
I saw a young woman reporter with the El Seco Times whom I had met the week before but had not had much of a chance to get to know. She was single, had a ready smile and a noticeably large bust. She had only come into town to work for the Times about six months before and so far in her reporting at least had not shown any hostility to Mitchell. When I looked in her direction she smiled, so I went over to chat with her. She was standing by the wall near the front taking notes. She would not be allowed to ask any questions; only members could ask questions. We traded the customary niceties. She didn't seem that interested in taking notes. The questions had been dull.
There was then a question from an apparently irate man who wanted to know, "How come the hospital is only going to be for $200 million? We need something bigger than that. Don't the veterans of El Seco deserve more than that. We gave up a lot for this country and we deserve a first-rate hospital."
"I agree," Dave answered immediately, "and I wanted a much bigger facility, believe me. I pushed for a hospital that would have cost $500 million. I certainly agree that you all deserve the very best facility money can buy, but you can't always get other Congressmen especially the Republicans to vote to spend money. And you know that I take every opportunity to make sure programs and benefits for our faithful veterans are properly funded."
I had my doubts about Dave being in favor of spending that much money on a hospital. I knew from his record that he wasn't a big spender although he didn't hesitate on seeking funds that would benefit his constituents. From the questions and attitudes, I think you could say that almost all of the veterans were very pleased with getting the new hospital and weren't worrying about too much government spending. Soon another question came from the same man who had complained about it being too cheap a hospital.
"You know I'm tired of seeing so much pork barrel spending passed by Congress just to please special interests back home. Congress needs to stop all this spending. All this crazy spending is driving this country to bankruptcy and it's not right. Like I read that some Congressman got money for some bridge back in Pennsylvania and I couldn't see why. And I'm sick and tired of paying so many taxes, and I know most people agree with me. You guys in Congress better stop raising taxes all the time. We can't afford it." The comment got very loud applause.
Dave answered how he agreed and thought it was a disgrace to see so much taxation and pork barrel spending. I figured he was probably disgusted with the man's inconsistency, but he didn't let it be known at all. That was the difference between a good politician and me. I know I just couldn't have kept my mouth shut and not told off the guy for being a hypocrite. We had discussed the many citizens who thought like him.
While Dave gave more answers, I talked with Liz, the reporter. She asked me how hard i was working in the campaign, how many appearances we still had for the rest of the week, and other innocent-sounding questions like that. She was very friendly and I was enjoying it.
There was then a question on why Dave had not voted in favor of the Gulf War in 1991. We had worried about this question at the beginning of the campaign, but so far it hadn't seemed to have become much of an issue. It was apparently too long ago and the economy was much more of a question in people's minds now. Of course we always had to be aware of it. Dave explained calmly that he had not been against the U.S. intervention against Saddam Hussein but had only wanted to give sanctions more time to work. Mitchell's vote on that was a reason I had been willing to take the time out to come back and help him in the campaign.
The next question was on why Mitchell spent so much money making trips to and from Washington. This one had come up in other campaigns, had never caught fire, but was another one to watch for. Related to it, was another trivial issue--Dave's purchase of a home in Maryland. We were expecting the press and the opposition to bring it up as an indication that he was ignoring his district.
Dave tried to explain, " . . . You know it is a burden to have to come home especially since El Seco is so far away from Washington, but I feel I have to come home often or else it might be said that I'm not keeping touch with my constituents. It's very important that you know that many of those trips I make are at my own expense. My expense allowance simply doesn't pay for that many trips . . . ."
After the meeting I tried to stay close to Dave as people came up to him to continue asking him questions, but Liz kept talking to me. She wanted to know a little more about the Congressman's trips between El Seco and Washington. As I talked to her, I remembered to keep my guard up. This young, ambitious reporter wasn't being friendly just because I was dynamic and handsome, which I naturally was. She was trying to slyly get as much inside info as she possibly could, but I felt I could be careful and not give away too much. I was confident enough that I walked her to the door and asked her if she would have dinner with me on Sunday night, the only night I had away from the campaign, if I was lucky.
"I'm afraid I don't think that's a good idea in the middle of a campaign in which you're so intimately involved. You know, journalistic ethics says a reporter shouldn't get too cozy with politicians."
"Yes, that's right," I answered. I had also been thinking that if I could get more friendly with her, I might be able to surreptitiously acquire some information from her on what was going on in the enemy camp. She was probably also wary of that.
"Maybe after the election I'll take you up on that invitation," she said as we said good-bye. That sounded appealing to me. I certainly was interested in going out with her for more than political considerations. It just seemed like an eternity to wait.
The next morning Bret talked to me urgently, "Looks like there are going to be activists demonstrating for more funds for AIDS in front of Dave's Congressional office this morning. It would be better if Dave didn't go, but it would be good to have someone there to hear their concerns and talk to the media who will undoubtedly show up. Would you please go?" I agreed although it would not be an easy assignment. AIDS activists could be pretty aggressive. When I got there I saw five young men gathered around two cars parked right in front of the El Seco Federal Building. After parking I sat in my car and tried to decide whether to talk to them casually before the demonstration began but decided against it and just went in to say "hi" to the Congressional staff. Dave wouldn't be in all day because of his campaigning schedule.
At 9:30 I went out again. It looked like they had just started to march. I had my Mitchell campaign staff name plate on and stood there waiting to see if they would approach me first. They totally ignored me and kept on marching and chanting about how the government and Dave Mitchell had let them down and were letting innocent people die everyday. I decided to go over to a guy still standing by a car who seemed like he might be coordinating the event. I greeted him cordially and he smiled but when he saw my Mitchell campaign button, the smile immediately vanished. I asked him if he knew Mitchell was a big advocate of public health and always voted for measures providing funds for health research.
"Yeah, I know, but it isn't enough. Billions more have to be spent if we're going to beat AIDS, and Mitchell hasn't seen the light on that," the guy said in a polite but slightly angry tone. I told him to please remember all the budget fights going on in Washington and how that made it impossible to fund some very worthwhile programs.
"Yeah, but this is a matter of life and death," he retorted. I tried to talk more but very soon he was called away by one of the marchers who wanted the apparent leader to talk to a passer-by who had a question.
Two television stations arrived at 10:30 and talked to several of the marchers. I could overhear some of what they had to say, none of which was complimentary to Mitchell. I approached the reporters after they had finished talking to the activists. I tried to be as quiet about approaching the media as possible so as not to call the attention of the gays, but I should have known that was futile. They quickly gathered around us as I attempted to explain what Mitchell had done and the constraints on him. They started chanting so loud that I knew the viewers would have trouble hearing me. One reporter suggested we go inside the Federal building where I could be heard better, but I said it would be better to stay outside.
I simply tried to not get angry and appear as calm and rational as possible. I didn't have anything new to say so I figured it would be just as well to let the demonstrators be heard shouting in the background so viewers would get a picture of how extreme they were. Hopefully it would look all right on the news.
After I got back to the campaign office and told Bret what had happened, he didn't seem too concerned. He was more concerned with some late breaking information. With a somber look, he said, "Looks like Dave hasn't gained much since August." I knew that meant he had just gotten the latest figures from the Peter Hart poll people. He continued, "It's 42 to 39 with still a large number of undecided--18%." Mitchell had gained a little, but two percentage points was disappointing in a period of two months. He needed to gain more if he was going to be sure to win by November 3rd, and Transic could win more attention before then.
The next morning I picked Dave up at his apartment to go to the St. Rafael Nutrition Center where senior citizens went for lunch regularly. The people were mostly Mexican and the neighborhood had always voted heavily Democratic, so we were in friendly territory. Many of the people didn't understand much English so I translated for Dave. It was his usual speech about how he and the Democratic Party never let the working people down and how they should have no fear that the Democrats would ever let them down on Social Security and Medicare. Afterward there were questions concerned mostly with Social Security.
"Oh, don't let them stop giving us that cost of living raise every year," one woman said and got loud applause.
"Please get them to increase Medicare," another woman said. "It just isn't enough." That got a loud round of applause as did other requests for more spending by the government.
Then a man said something that a Democratic crowd usually didn't say, "You guys in Washington stop spending so much money. All that means is that you have to then raise our taxes, and we're tired of having to pay so many taxes." Dave looked at me in bewilderment as that drew the loudest applause.
From there we went to a small meeting with leaders of the Mexican American Action Committee, a group that existed to speak out against abuses by agencies that deal with Mexican nationals coming to the U.S. They had a list of demands, like that Dave should denounce the Border Patrol for abusing the privacy of people. They had the exact statement they wanted Dave to make. Dave said his office was in the process of investigating recent accusations against the Border Patrol. They wouldn't back down from their demands.
I finally had to tell them that Dave just couldn't make such a statement. They left in a huff and one of them angrily stated that while they had never told their followers to vote for a Republican, they would probably tell them not to go vote at all. He told me directly, "You, you're a Mexican-American, you should be more sensitive about this." I felt bad because I had been the one who had advised Dave to attend the meeting rather than just duck it.
The next day we had a forum in front of a group called Voters for Responsible Government. It was not a favorable audience. This group had been formed some time back precisely because they thought everyone in office was ineffective if not outright corrupt. They were almost always against incumbents, and they attracted a lot of attention. It was very likely that the media would show up, so Dave was obligated to go. We were expecting all the usual complaints, but we knew not to be surprised with new ones. The first person I saw in the meeting room in the Marriott Hotel was Liz as she was walking to talk to one of the judicial candidates. I couldn't help but stare at her as she walked in the strawberry-colored tight-fitting dress she was wearing, which hugged and caressed her hips so deliciously. I thought of how I couldn't wait until the election was over for many reasons, but she was by far the main one. When I later caught her eye, she gave me a big smile.
When the Congressional candidates gave their opening statements, Transic launched into Dave for owning a home in Washington, "I'll tell you citizens; I'll never buy a home in Washington and get cozy with that Washington crowd. I'll keep my home right here and never lose touch with the people."
It was a switch in strategy since Transic had before been complaining about all the trips Mitchell had taken at taxpayer expense. Dave pointed out this inconsistency along with some others and called it "the typical Republican double-standard." Still our poll had shown that Mitchell's owning a home in Maryland was not generally approved in spite of the fact that most Congress members were forced to do that even if they didn't particularly like it. Transic's polling had probably found out the same thing and so he was now trying to capitalize on the issue. Transic also blasted Mitchell for having voted to raise taxes. The audience hissed and booed when he gave the specific instances in which he actually voted to raise certain government fees--not taxes.
When the questions came, Dave was hit with a barrage such as why he hadn't helped acquire a new international bridge across to Mexico and why he hadn't gotten more Federal funding and again the question on why he hadn't obtained greater funding for a new VA hospital. Then there were a couple of questions asking whether Dave had voted for any pork barrel projects and why did Congress always vote for so many pork barrel projects.
The next to last question was on why Congress had voted for the rainwater tax. Dave stared at me momentarily. Bret and I had warned him about this question coming up, but it had been early in the campaign, and he had probably forgotten all about it by now. He talked around it. He said that Congress had not actually voted for it but for other regulations that the Environmental Protection Agency had then wrongly stretched into more stringent regulations. He definitely sounded fuzzy. It had been an obscure and relatively insignificant vote that had allowed for certain environmental regulations, and one of those regulations required cities to assess some kind of tax on property owners who allowed excessive rainwater to run off their property and onto streets. It would have only applied in a few unusual instances. It would not have been much to even think twice about except the year before the mayor and two city council members had been voted out of office almost solely for their votes in favor of adopting the tax as required by the Federal regulation.
The media had gotten ahold of the issue and run hard with it to make a point about runaway government regulation. The radio talk shows had also jumped on it and made jokes about it and the callers joined in. Eventually the whole city was joking about it, and this happened just before the mayoral election. It had apparently died down since then and luckily for Dave he had not been brought into the attacks at the time, but it could very conceivably happen now. Of course, Transic carried on in his response about how this proved how out of touch Congress was with all its regulation.
People seemed to leave that forum even more mad at Dave than they had been when they came. Worst of all, the headline in the paper the next morning was "Mitchell Gives Weak Explanation of Rainwater Tax." The article also gave the impression that most citizens were mad at the incumbent Congressman for not being responsive to the community. Liz did not write it.
The Friday before the election, we had a staff meeting and had to tell Dave that in the latest poll he had only gained two points. I reminded him, "Remember the '82 poll also said you were going to lose." That was true but he wasn't this far behind at this point in the race. On the last weekend of this election, we did the usual scrambling around doing everything from going to rallies, to answering phone calls, to talking to the media, to handing out fliers, to organizing precinct workers for election day.
The night before the election there was a short live debate scheduled for the 10 o'clock news on Channel 7. We were definitely expecting something negative again, probably a question on the rainwater tax. The only other people there were the television personnel and a couple of people who had gone with Transic. So I was surprised to see Liz there. Maybe she wanted to talk to the candidates after the debate. Or maybe she came just to have the chance to see me, but I quickly put that thought out of my mind.
The first question was about what plans the candidates had for dealing with the health care crisis. The second question was about what they thought about having a home in Washington. Transic got to answer that one first and launched into a tirade against Dave and how out of touch he was with the people. When it was his turn, Dave got up and went to the podium calmly. He stopped just before he got to the podium, turned around with his back to the camera, and quickly bent over as he pulled down his pants. You could hear a gasp in the room. The camera was immediately switched, but not before the viewing audience had the chance to see what Dave had done. Phones started ringing immediately. Dave then simply walked away from the podium and started to walk out of the studio. The female news anchor nervously shuffled the papers in front of her and announced, "Due to unforeseen difficulties, it is now necessary to continue with the other news."
I looked at Liz and she was laughing. I went over to ask her, "Well, do you think we could go ahead and have that date tonight?"
"Why not. I don't think it's going to matter."
The hot, dry August wind was just the way Dave Phillips remembered it in El Seco. It had been at least 10 years since he had been back, but childhood memories were still vivid. As he drove west on the freeway, he could see how the housing subdivisions had spread to the foothills. The city had been one of the fastest growing in the country. He had enjoyed his childhood here, and his parents had chosen to remain even though he had pleaded with them to move where they could be closer to him. They had in turn begged him to come back to El Seco, but it had been out of the question. He had established an excellent reputation as a neurosurgeon in New York, associated with Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. He worked longer hours than he liked but otherwise it was very satisfying to be at the top of his profession. Coming back to El Seco, even as the top surgeon in the city, would simply be out of the question. No matter how much he might enjoy coming back to live closer to his parents and in a place where he had developed early roots with people still around whom he remembered as childhood friends, he knew he wouldn't be happy. There wasn't a laboratory where he could become involved in research, something he thought he might like to do someday.
He wondered how El Seco was for a single man. There was certainly an abundance of women in New York City, but supposedly that wasn't the case here. An old friend had complained about that, but more importantly he said, many women didn't seem very impressed with a professional man. He was a sharp, good-looking accountant working in an established firm.
In spite of all, he still enjoyed coming back to see old friends and he was especially excited about this afternoon. He was driving to Michelino's, an old winery hidden in the hills on the west side of the city, near the Mexican border. The organizers of their 20th year high school reunion thought it would be a good spot to meet. It was supposed to be informal so Dave was wearing a pair of white shorts and a short-sleeved maroon polo shirt. He was looking forward to seeing many of the people from his Coronado High School class of 1970. He had known some of them since grammar school. There had been about 600 graduates, and he probably knew about 400 of them even if only distantly. He had taken out his old yearbooks last night to help him refresh his memory on names and faces.
In school, he had never been one of the popular people nor one of the members of the "in" social groups that came into existence, but he had distinguished himself by making good grades and coming out often on Dean's List. He hadn't been conscious of it at the time, but he had yearned to be popular and held in special esteem. He had thought about it in more recent years and realized how much of a force a feeling of inadequacy had been toward his drive to excel. He remembered how he had daydreamed of going on to be some great success and have everyone he had known in school talk of how great he was. They would tell their friends and remind their relatives that they had known him; it would make them speak proudly of having gone to school with him; the newspapers would refer to him every so often as a great El Secoan who had made a name for himself. At first he had dreamed of being a great baseball player who would be seen on television all the time. That fantasy faded as he found that he could rise to being no more than an average player on the high school baseball team. He found that he could shine in academics and so shifted his goal to becoming a doctor or engineer. His supporting dream of success stayed with him through high school, through college, and even to some extent, after he had already become a doctor.
Dave wondered about two people he remembered in particular. One was Margaret Hawkins who had turned him down when he had asked her to go to the Junior Prom. It had been an upsetting disappointment. It was true that he hadn't known her especially well, but he had been confident that she would accept. She didn't have a boyfriend; it was said she didn't even date very much. He had walked up to her in the hall right after English class and very calmly asked her if she would be his date. She said "no" politely, but curtly. It was immediately clear that she could not be moved to reconsider her firm decision, and she gave no explanation.
She showed up with someone else and he found another date, too. Her date had not been anyone special. Dave didn't think she knew him much better--spent the whole evening trying to figure out why the other guy and not him. His date was a girl he had known for many years from close by in his neighborhood. He had brooded on Margaret's rejection not only that evening but for a long time to come. Dave wondered now whether she had any regrets about that rejection. Lately he had caught himself fantasizing a little on what might happen if she were single like he. He had heard that she was still an extremely beautiful woman and so inevitably not one who would be in any way needy of men who would be interested in her. In fact, she had been so attractive that she had moved to Hollywood soon after graduation to seek a career as an actress.
As he drove up the hill and came within sight of the winery, he could feel nervousness. He had hardly seen any of the people in the intervening 20 years. He could hear music coming from the large, old stone building. Dave said "hi" near the entrance to a guy named Jay who was standing there as if waiting for someone. He was trying to remember his last name but couldn't. He hadn't known Jay very well.
The music was coming from an old jukebox, old songs from the time like "Tracy," by the Cufflinks, and there were already a hundred people. A band was setting up, Lonnie Leroux and the Lancers, made up mainly of graduates from the previous class of 1969. The first person Dave ran into was Fred Farrell. They hadn't seen each other since graduation, and Fred was jubilant. He introduced Dave to his wife who had gone to a high school on the east side of town. Fred was overweight but he had always been stocky. He had played tackle on the junior high football team. Dave had also been on the team but never went on to play in high school. He had always been very thin. They immediately went into exchanging the usual information on what each had been doing since the last time they had seen each other. Fred said he had been in insurance for many years and was impressed with Dave's accomplishments.
As Dave later talked to Mike Gonzalez who had been in American History and other classes with him, he kept looking out of the corner of his eye at different people and noticed Mike was being distracted in the same way. "God, there's a lot of people here I can't remember," Mike said chagrined. "Who's that over there? Is that Jenny Saunders?" Dave wasn't sure who it was, either. They both agreed that it was hard to recognize many of the others.
Dave then spotted Janet Stevens. She looked surprisingly attractive and youthful, about ten years younger. It was not that Janet had been ugly, she had just never looked this good before. It was not her looks, however, that made him eager to talk to her as much as memories that came back to him across the years. He remembered how she always beat him in grades in school. She sat in front of him in both fifth and sixth grades, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get better grades than her. In the early grades he hadn't really cared that much about grades, but he sometimes got it in his mind to beat Janet in a test and it was mainly because she seemed so arrogant. She was often bossy and most of the other kids would pick up on this and taunt her for it. Dave would try to get back at her by doing better in a test because she seemed to take so much pride in being at the top off the class. Sometimes he would get a better grade than her but that was rare. He wondered what her reaction would be when she found out what he was doing now.
As soon as he had the chance in the conversation, he found an excuse to walk to where Janet was talking with some of her former girlfriends. When he had the chance, he tapped her on the shoulder. "Hi, Janet."
"Dave, Dave Phillips," she exclaimed sounding almost ecstatic. "You look great. My God. I haven't seen you in so long. I think it was right after graduation."
"That sounds about right. You're looking great yourself, like about 10 years younger."
"Oh, come on now. Don't exaggerate. Do you remember Donna Rains and . . "
He remembered some of the other women vaguely and got reacquainted with them. After 10 minutes of mixed conversation, he had the chance to talk to Janet individually. "So are you in town or living somewhere else?" she asked him.
"I've been out of El Seco since graduation."
"You must have gone away to college?"
"Yes, I did."
"Where did you go?"
"Princeton."
"So what are you doing now?"
"I'm in New York. I'm in neurosurgery."
"Oh, isn't that something. We're both in the medical field. I've been a nurse for 15 years now. I've enjoyed it immensely most of the time, but I'm starting to get a little tired. I may take a few years and stay at home. My husband said it was fine with him. We could manage fine on just his income. What area did you say you were in?" She seemed a little distracted with the noise around.
"Neurosurgery."
"What exactly do you do?"
"I'm a doctor."
"Oh, a doctor. You're one of those. You all think you know so much, but I'll tell you I've trained many a young doctor in my day. Doctors just don't seem to appreciate how important we nurses are."
"I'm afraid you're probably right."
"Aside from all that money you guys get, I sure wouldn't want to be a doctor. Too much pressure, and you don't get the chance to really be personable with the patients. We nurses can do so much more good in that respect. Oh, Emily, Walt, it's great to see you," she turned to meet a couple that had gotten married after being high school sweethearts. A conversation got started with them and Dave sidled away before very long. He had not known the couple very well. He realized how she still felt superior even if she was below him in status.
He walked to the place where the kegs were located and after pouring himself a long-neck noticed Margaret Hawkins. He paused to get a good look at her as she stood talking to two men, who seemed entranced with her. That wasn't surprising. She looked as good as ever as she talked with her arms half-crossed, her left hand held at the side of her face, very composed. He wanted to talk to her but noticed how nervous he felt. He was determined to talk to her so he started walking across the room to where she was. How would she react to him? What were her thoughts now on what had happened back then? He hoped for a chance to talk to her privately, intimately.
"Hey, Dave, how you doing?" a friendly man engaged him in conversation. "Good to see you." The face was definitely familiar, but he couldn't get the name to come back to him. He kept trying to sneak a peek at the man's nametag but couldn't get a good look and didn't want him to notice his straining to see the name. After a couple of minutes, he remembered it was Leo Aceves. They talked for 15 minutes but it started to make Dave uneasy. He worried that Margaret might leave early. He wanted to talk much more to Leo. They had become good friends in chemistry class, but he hoped they could continue the conversation at a later time. Luckily someone else came up and Dave was soon able to excuse himself. Margaret was now surprisingly standing alone.
"Hi, Margaret. How've you been all these years? Remember me?"
"Uh," she hesitated a little. "I think so."
"I heard you had moved out to the West Coast."
"Yes, I've been there all this time. It's great. I love it."
"What are you doing now?"
"I'm afraid I have to confess, vain me. All these years I've been trying to be a star but haven't done much. I have managed to get some bit parts in some television shows recently."
"That's great. Most people don't even get that far no matter how hard they try."
"Yes, I've been thinking lately I ought to be pretty proud of myself, and on top of that, I've raised two nice kids." She stared ahead wistfully as if realizing that a woman approaching 40 couldn't go much further.
"Well, if you haven't made it big yet, it's not because of lack of good looks. It's a rough world out there in Hollywood. I think that's pretty well known by now."
"I hope so. I hope everybody doesn't think I haven't been working at it or that I have no talent because if there is anything I've found out for sure, it's that I am a good actress."
"I remember your being in Senior Play, and everybody thinking you had done real well. What was the play? The Crucible, wasn't it?"
"Yeah."
"I also remember you were just about the prettiest girl in school. All the guys always used to talk about you, including me. Do you remember me asking you to go to the Junior Prom?" David was surprised to find himself getting into the subject he had thought about for so many years. He didn't feel as nervous as he had at first.
"Uh, well, I, huh, think so." She now had a very confused look.
"I remember calling you on either a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Of course, you seemed surprised since you didn't know me very well. I think we only knew each other because of Government class."
"Is that right?"
"I don't know why I thought you might possibly be interested in going with me to the prom. There were so many other guys you knew. What did you think when I called you? You sounded surprised."
"Well, I guess I . . ."
"I know, you probably already had a date."
"To tell you the truth, I've got a terrible memory and I . . ." At that moment an old girlfriend of Margaret's came up and touched her. They both yelled in surprise and hugged. They apparently hadn't seen each other for many years. They went on to a long conversation. Dave was not included and eventually faded away.
As he walked away, he felt disappointment. He felt the conversation had been going in the right direction. She seemed attentive and very sincere, but it was disappointing that they had not been able to go any further. He soon ran into a guy he had known since junior high and they started reminiscing.
As they were talking, Dave noticed Ricky Inman standing across the room. If there was anyone he was more curious about than even Margaret Hawkins, it was Ricky Inman. He hadn't changed that much except for a decided expansion of the breadbasket. Actually Dave could see, from the beer Ricky was holding in his hand, that it would more properly be called a "beerbasket." His face was still very recognizable.
He had first known Ricky Inman in the fifth grade and suffered perhaps the most traumatic experience in his life because of him. It had left a deep-felt impression that still remained in his consciousness. He hardly knew Ricky at the time. He was in another class and didn't live in his neighborhood. One day while in the schoolyard during lunch, Ricky came up and said some boys told him that Dave was the one who had taken the air out of his bicycle tires. Dave immediately protested that he hadn't done such a thing, but Ricky wouldn't listen and instead threw him on the ground and started slugging him hard. He was mad. He was also 20 pounds heavier than Dave. He yelled, trying to tell Ricky that he didn't even know what his bike looked like but Ricky went on to push Dave's face into the ground as he lay on top of him. The ground had been covered with gravel that now cut sharply into his face. The bell rang and Ricky finally got off.
In the classroom, Dave sat numbly. He could hear the teacher talking in what seemed a faint distance but he wasn't listening. His face was burning from the gravel cuts, and his body was aching. Worst of all was the mixture of humiliation and anger that seemed to override all his senses at the moment. It was an experience that he had never forgotten. For several weeks, his mind kept returning obsessively to the incident, replaying every painful detail. He thought about revenge and started studying how to become a better fighter, but the chance never came for a rematch. Years later in high school, Ricky was still a tough guy, running around with a hard crowd, but Dave had been able to overcome most of the bitterness. He eventually realized that it was this incident that probably started the fantasy of becoming a great success. He wondered how Ricky was doing now. Ricky had never distinguished himself in school in any way. He hadn't heard anything about him after graduation. Dave thought about he would go over to talk to Ricky. He wondered whether to bring up the time Ricky had beat him up in fifth grade.
Dave went to get another beer as he thought about the approach he would take. After talking to Jeff Solaroff briefly, he walked over to Ricky.
"Hi, Ricky. How you been? Remember me?" Ricky looked at him quizzically but was friendly. Dave noticed that his nametag said, "Richard Inman."
"Uh . . ."
"Dave Phillips."
"Oh, O.K."
"We met in fifth grade. We weren't in the same class, but I remember knowing you."
"Fifth grade? I don't know I remember anything that far back," he said with a chuckle.
"We used to play in the playground sometimes. Then in high school you used to hang around with Jimmy Perez who lived a couple of blocks from me."
"Oh, yea, good ole Jimmy. I see him every once in a while. He still hasn't changed much."
"Remember Jimmy used to give me a ride to school sometimes?"
Ricky wrinkled his brow, "I'm really sorry, but I just can't place you, and, hey, you're not the only one. There's already been a couple of other people who said they knew me but I couldn't remember them. Lucky I didn't have to admit it to them." He laughed. Dave was impressed with how gentle and sincere he seemed. "So what kind of work are you in?" he asked Dave.
"I'm a doctor."
"Sounds great. I've been doing pretty good as a truck driver. The only bad thing is I have to be on the road away from home so much, but my wife is very understanding. Do you know Terry?" he asked as he turned to her sitting down next to him. She smiled as she and Dave exchanged greetings. They had never met, but Dave was surprised that it was Terry Owens, one of the most beautiful girls in the class behind them. He had admired her in high school. He now remembered hearing that they had gotten married soon after high school. "The money's unbelievably good," he continued. "I made $60,000 last year, and I like getting out there on the road. Wouldn't trade anything in the world for it. No offense, but I wouldn't want to be a doctor. Too much hassle, and you have to be cooped up inside all the time. I've got to be out. Yeah, we've done real well." They talked a little longer then someone Richard knew came up to greet him, and Dave quietly walked away.
He felt frustrated and confused. He hadn't gotten the feeling that Richard was trying to put him down in any way. He seemed completely sincere and straightforward. He liked Richard now. It had been like getting acquainted with a complete stranger.
As Dave gathered a few finger sandwiches and salad items on his plate, a friendly woman started talking to him. She seemed very jovial. He didn't remember her at all. After they filled their plates, they stepped aside and kept talking.
"My name's Cindy, Cindy Waltermire." Dave strained to remember her but couldn't. He told her his name, and before he could say much else, she said, "If you can't remember me, don't worry. Hardly anybody else does and I don't remember you. As a matter of fact, I'm sure I never knew you. You see I moved to the Coronado area in the middle of senior year and hardly got to know anybody. I knew there wouldn't be much use in coming, but I decided to anyway. I figured there was really nothing to lose."
"Hey, I think it was a great idea. Even if you don't know that many people, you still have a lot in common with us." Dave actually felt relieved that they didn't know each other.
"I've met some great people and had a lot of fun. How long did you live in the area?"
"Oh, I've known some of the people here since third grade."
"Oh, my. Listen, don't let me hold you up. You must have a lot of people you have to talk to. You better go on and stop wasting your time with me."
"Hey, don't worry. You're fun to talk to. Besides I'm bored trying to talk to my old friends." Dave and Cindy talked for a very long time and got to know each other.
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