We're SURE you have plenty of questions to ask, so we'll jump one step ahead of you and give you some answers.
Q. Are you guys racist?
A. NO. If you completed kindergarten successfully, you know that C is one letter, and K is a different letter. A Klan is a group of fanatical, cross-burning, hood-wearing, gibberish-speaking, drunken redneck hicks who've been socially maladjusted to be stupid and make appearances on the Jerry Springer show. That's not us. We are the Cartman Clan, a group of folks who like South Park. See the difference? Good.
Q. What is the Cartman Clan?
A. There is a section devoted to explaining that. Click here.
Q. Is the Cartman Clan a real group of people?
A. Good question. Put simply, every member listed on the Members page is a real person, not just something from someone's imagination.
Q. Who runs the Cartman Clan?
A. The Cartman Clan was co-founded and is co-lead by two online dimwits calling themselves SuperCartman and Vulturus. SC likes to think he runs the thing himself, but Vulturus is secretly planning to bring down the operation from inside (shhh... keep it quiet)
Q. Why does your site look screwed up in my browser?
A. Because your browser is a piece of crap! Sorry, but it had to be said. Frankly, I don't have the time or motivation to make sure my page looks fine in every single browser available.. it looks fine in Internet Explorer 4, and that's all I know for sure. If it looks weird in yours, tough bananas, buddy! Update your poor-ass browser!
If you are using an up-to-date browser and the page still looks screwed up, it might be because you aren't viewing in 800x600 resolution or with at least 16-bit High Color or 24-bit True Color. These are the recommended viewing requirements. If the site STILL looks screwed up, well, your computer is basically crap, my friend.
Q. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SOUTH PARK MULTIMEDIA ON YOUR SITE?
A. Good question! Let me explain:
There are thousands of South Park sites out there, all claiming to be something special. However, there are only a few sites, the major sites, that truly provide a good amount of South Park multimedia. Other sites that only provide a small amount of multimedia are forgotten, in favour of the big sites that provides all the sounds, videos, images, etc. I figure that if I provide original stuff that isn't anywhere else, this site won't be forgotten, and there will be a good reason to keep visiting again.
Q. Can I use your South Park stuff on my website?
A. To put it simply, NO. Sorry, but I put a lot of effort into coming up with this stuff, and if it's just freely distributed, then, well, I'll be pissed off, and I'll have to hunt you down and gut you. I may give permission to some special people to copy some of it, but if you see it on another site and copy it from there, those webmasters will hunt you down and gut you, too.
Q. Who designed the web site?
A. This site was created by, and is maintained by Cartman Clan co-leader SuperCartman. Also, any original graphics found of this site are his as well, unless otherwise indicated.
Q. How is this site best viewed?
A. This site is best viewed with at a resolution of 800x600, at least 16-bit High Color, and a recent version of either Netscape or Internet Explorer.
Q. Where do you get the content for your South Park Stuff?
A. It's all a collaboration of the brilliant ideas of us Clan members. We know that our sole purpose is to entertain you, the reader, so we let all our creative juices flow to produce the best product possible.
...
Yeah, that is a crock. Basically, I just think of a bunch of South Park related stuff, put it up, and if you guys find it funny, hey, that's a plus.
Q. How do I win the Fat Hippie Award?
A. Well, first, it helps if you actually HAVE a South Park website. Next, you'd better have something that makes your site worthwhile to visit. Other than that, just cross your fingers and wait. BUT, I can say, it helps a LOT if your site isn't riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes that give the reader the impression that you're 8 years old. Seriously.
Q. Why didn't my site win the Corpulent Award?
A. Take a look at the Corpulent Award. It reads: For Outstanding Creativity, Originality and Content in a South Park website. Apparently your web site isn't outstanding in all of the fields of creativity, originality and content, now is it? That's why I've got two awards; one for the worthwhile sites, and this one for the real GOOD sites. Now, if you think my site sucks and I have no business telling you that your site isn't good enough, too f'ing bad, buddy. My site, my award, MY opinion. If you didn't consider the possibility of being turned down, you shouldn't have applied for the award in the first place.
Q. How come this site has a whole wrestling overtone to it as well?
A. Because, I make the site, and I like wrestling. So, I can add wrestling stuff if I want to. So know you role and shut your mouth, you jabronie!
Q. Shouldn't this FAQ list be over by now?
A. It is.
If you have any questions that weren't answered here, you're obviously very curious, or very retarded. In any case email me, and I'll try to figure out what the heck you're talking about.
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