Chicken Poductions
Back To the RSE!
Email the Chicken Guy!!!
Send Us Your Comments!!

Stories
Tootsie Pops!
Robin Hood

THE NEANDERTHALS AND MY LITTLE PONY
(A touching tale of a boy who must find his way)

BOY: Mr. Turtle, how many licks wouldst thou have to acquire to obtain the center of a Tootsie Pop?

(Mr Turtle hangs himself)

Mr. Turtle? (Goes to Mr. Owl, the mighty and all knowing one)

Sir Owl, how many licks wouldst thou have to...

MR. OWL: Hold thy damn tongue! All this day little knaves continue to query, 'How many licks Sir Owl?' 'How many licks Sir Owl?' Well I've... (Notices the kids crying) Curses! The lad is weeping at my feet, very well knave, I will succumb to thee nefarious biddings.

BOY: Jolly good sir!

MR. OWL:(Starts licking the Tootsie Pop) Oneth... twoeth.

BOY: Thou hast forgotten the hooooo.

MR. OWL: Prithee me! How could I have averted it so? If it shall keep thee from tears I shall... Two-hooooooeth! Threeth... foureth... fiveth... (The owl continues to lick the Tootsie Pop for 20 years.) One-thousand, thirty-foureth... one-thousand, thirty-fiveth. (The owl falls, completely stiff)

BOY: Jolly Sir Owl! Hast thou succumbed?

MR. OWL:(In an insane tone) NAAAY!! Must.... acquire..... must acquire licks for... KNAVE!!! KNAVE, knave knave knave knave knave!! (The boy pulls out a rapier and chops off the owls head) (Enter Vulture)

BOY: Jolly Sir Vulture, how many licks wouldst thou acquire to obtain the center of Mr. Owl?

VULTURE: Oneth... two-hoooeth... threeth.... CRUNCH! (The vulture takes a large bite into Mr. Owl) Threeth good sir.

NARRATOR: How many licks wouldst thou hast acquire to obtain the center Mr. Owl? The world may ne'er know...