This is not happening. I can't believe this is happening.
"Guys...Miss Ann...I..I uh...I gotta go. I'll be back."
"Nicky are you ok?"
Howie is the kindest person I know and he knows that I hate when they call me that. I can't stand it. But it's...comforting to hear right now.
"Yeah, D. I just need to go out for a sec. Just to get some breathing room."
'She' looks up at me. It's the only time since she's been in the room that she's taken her eyes off Kevin. I'm not sure how to feel about her and she can tell.
"You'll need to be careful Nick. I know you know that already, but I understand your fans are quite 'crafty' and they'll do anything to get to anyone of you."
She speaks in a gentle tone, hushed tone. Trying not to overstep any bounderies.
"Thanks. I'm pretty good at hiding though, Kevin...taught me how." There's a catch in my throat.
"I'll be back soon. If anything changes...ANYTHING...you guys beep me, ok?"
Before they can respond I run out the door.
I've known Kevin Richardson since I was a kid. Not even a teenager. He's been a mentor to each one of us, but me especially. I can not imagine him being in my life. His life is hanging by a thread and there is nothing that I can do about it.
How do I handle this?
"You have to be strong, Nick. You just have to deal with it."
I was upset. Homesick again. I was determined not to cry. Kev saw right through it.
"I'm trying to be strong Kev. I just miss my family. Aaron and everyone."
Patience is not a virtue Kevin has, well not lots of it anyway. He'll give you so much time and then enough is enough. He hadn't hit that point with me.
"I know it's tough Nicky, We all miss our families. I know it's a little harder on you 'cause you're the youngest. It's gonna be ok, I promise."
I looked up at him and knew he would do his best to see to it that I was ok. I haven't cried since.
Until now.
D finds me. I knew he would. It's his 'job' to look after us when Kevin isn't there.
"Nick?"
"I'm ok Howie. Really, I am"
"So now you've taken to lying to me? Dang!"
I had to smile. Of course he saw right through that. He always does.
"Is Kev ok? I mean..."
"Nothing's changed Nick. He's still...waiting."
"She's here! What is he waiting for?! Why won't he wake up?! Maybe she's not the one he wanted? Maybe...
"Nick calm down. These things take time. I'm sure she's the right woman. We just have to wait and see. It's going to be ok. You have to believe that or we...we could lose him."
"Why Howie? Why didn't he tell us he was seeing someone? Why wouldn't he let us know? She's gorgeous. She seems intelligent and she seems to care about him. What's the big deal?"
"I can only think of one thing Nick. Our fans."
"The fans? Why would they care. Kevin happy is all that matters."
"Well a lot of fans would feel that way, but most may not. Some people have a hard time with...with inter-racial dating. Think about it Nick. Most of our fans are young white girls. It was hard enough for them to see him dating and marrying someone who looked like them. Now he's dating someone who looks nothing like them. That kinda takes him away from them completely. Do you understand?"
"Yea, you're telling me that some people are selfish."
"Well not really selfish, just...I don't know how to describe it Nick, but that's just the way it is. I don't think that would bother Kev, though. He always does exactly what he wants. Period. This strikes me as odd.
"Me too, D. Me too."
"Listen you wanna get something to eat. I'm starving. We can run by Mickey D's and bring the others back some food. Aje would love us forever."
"Yea lets go."
We left to get food for ourselves and everyone else. I still didn't understand why Kevin would keep a secret like this from us. It occured to me that maybe Kevin wasn't the one who wanted Him and Stephanie kept a secret. Maybe it was someone else.
I'd ask Brian when we got back to Kevin's room. Someone was going to tell me something!
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Chapter 5
