A very good day to you, this is David (as in David Beckham) May, your distinguished guest columnist for this latest editorial. Since being released on a free transfer from United reserves, I have decided to put something back into the community, starting with this pathetic excuse for a site, even though I have won the Champions League single-handedly for United and am clearly above gracing sites that produce rubbish drivel at the rate at which I score own goals (i.e. once every ten minutes).

As an organized, independent and motivated individual who works well under pressure and finds it immensely gratifying to take up and to solve challenges, I am pleased to read from a scribbled script slipped into my hands that (clears throat) "the long overdue season six of musings is finally here, if you will be kind enough to overlook the overlapping of an odd offering or two from the previous collection (I use that term loosely). The travelogues section has also been updated accordingly after my trip to Sydney."

Yeah, you just think the whole world revolves around you, don’t you? Anyway back to what I was saying. Taking up leadership appointments in the United reserves side and playing in numerous world-class competitions such as the English League Cup has helped to develop my ability to play competently either as an individual or in a team, even with Gary Neville by my side. I believe with these skills and experience, I still have what it takes to play at the pinnacle level of the game.

In fact, one last shot at winning the European Champions League and World Footballer Player of the Year award would be the perfect end to my distinguished career before I retire to FIFA's Hall of Fame. To achieve that aim, I am willing to play for free. In fact, I will pay you a million pounds for the appropriate platform to shine on.

That's all for now. Missus needs me in the garden.