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1. Is Ted a ...

boy
girl
both
a little bit of each but not enough of either
none of the above

2. When was the last time Ted took a shower?

a month ago
during Noah's flood
the last time he got caught in the rain
last night
a week ago, give him a break!

3. What kind of paintball gun does Ted have?

Angel
Tippmann 98 Custom
Titman 69 Special Action
M-60
Autococker

4. Who does Ted think is hot?

Fat Bastard
His Grandpa
Rush Limbaugh
George Bush
Shakira

5. What does Ted prefer to find in his lunch?

A sandwich
A human leg
A live animal
"The artist formerly known as a hot dog"
A school hamburger (ph33r)

6. Which game does Ted like best?

Unreal Tournament
Barney's funnest game ever
The Teletubbies ® sing-and-click along
Bop it!
Who wants to be a hobo?

7. What is Ted's AIM screen name?

i_am_a_l33t_h4x0r_8349875743
sexy_beast
3l3m3n741
whos_your_daddy_27
elemental_1337

8. Will Ted tell you how to hack hotmail?

no
uhhhhhh...no
welllll...maybe.....but...no
GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE YOU STUPID SOB I WILL...
non non miseur

9. What is the definition of "foment" ?

to eat for breakfast
to remove the eyelashes of
to apply a warm substance to
to h4x0r
a large parasitic creature. see also: Bush, George W.

10. What kind of deodorant does Ted use?

Lady Speed Stick
Lady Slow Stick
Kind of In-the-Middle Stick
Lysol
whatever works

11. Which is Ted's nickname?

Tedinator
Tedward
Tedster
Tedsie Wedsie
None of the above except A, B, and C