April 15, 2001

Jimmy claims he's not upset, but the moment I say anything he acts snarky, and is cold. And then he gets upset when I say I'm mad at him for calling me a bitch. Then he says he knows I told everyone he was making out with someone who isn't his girlfriend. Right. That really sounds like me. So he freaks when he says and throws it in at the end of a conversation then runs away.

So I write this:
Why didn't you just tell me that was why you were mad? I didn't even know anyone had said you and Marie were making out that night we left you behind. Yeah, I probably was in a bad mood, but I was tired and still a little under the influence. Why would I, of all people, say that you were making out with Marie. I can't even see Janet saying that. The only thing I would guess was that Lindsay heard where you were and thought whatever the hell she wanted. She always does it. What makes this time any different? And it's not like I talked to any of them before I left anyway. And don't tell me I'm being defensive. You've given me good reason to be. You claim you don't remember ignoring me, but you didn't even ICQ me, and you get all worked up and leave. You did it when you called me a bitch and you did it again today. You've been cold, you've been snarky. Don't tell me there was nothing wrong. I don't understand why you let this eat you when you could have just asked me. I don't know who started the rumour. I don't care. It's stupid and it doesn't mean anything anyway. If it was Lindsay, it's because she's jealous. She doesn't get that much attention from you males.
Anyway, be angry if you want. I really don't see the point. You are the one who said you don't make mountains out of molehills. Why don't you just admit you're upset? I'm sorry you're upset. There's not a heck of a lot I can do about it right now.

So he writes back that he's not mad. Right. And that's why he's still ignoring me on ICQ. And bringing it up at all. If he really did think the rumour was funny then why the hell would he bring it up at all, especially since I didn't even know about it until he brought it up. Right. FUCK HIM! I am so upset about this because I want to defend myself and he dismisses it. I know something is up. He's not going to tell me. Maybe Luce is right. Maybe Jimmy does have a crush on me and he's trying to get over it by treating me like the dead skin on his feet.

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