DAY 1: My family and I arrive at Pearson International with plenty of time to spare, so we kill time by going up and down the moving sidewalks and eating at the Harvey's. The plane was maybe half full, so even though we were seated in one row together with only one window seat, my dad and Edmond were able to find better seats further back in the plane after we took off. We landed in Calgary at around 2 pm, located my Aunt Betty fairly quickly, then headed to the hotel. There was a slight problem with our reservation, but the hotel put us up in a different hotel nearby. After a mid-afternoon dinner, we headed to the Stampede. We arrived too late to see the rodeo, so we ended up walking around and I felt like I was at the CNE except that it was filled with cowboys. We were able to catch most of the Matthew Good concert, but after over an hour of standing behind tall people and watching some guy climb an enormous tree while security tried to talk him down (unsuccessfully), we took off.

FUNNY STORY: Since Edmond still couldn't do anything yet (being 18), he wanted to check out the casino at the Stampede (where he could get in if he had two pieces of ID). We walked into the building and all you could really see was this incredibly thick cloud of smoke hanging in the air around the tables. My eyes started to burn almost instantly. We left very shortly thereafter.

DAY 2: A somewhat sleepless night, having had to share a bed with my dear auntie (she's great, but a teeny bit LOUD at night). Had a full day planned (can't you just see me waving a little yellow flag?). Drove to Chinatown to see if we could find us some breakfast. Most things were closed since it was early Sunday morning, but we managed to find a decent place. Next stop was Olympic Park. Got a guided tour of the place, including the ski jump. Rode the chairlift back down to the bottom, which was an interesting experience. Checked out the Calgary Tower and had a nice brunch as well. We were going to split up, but a sudden torrential downpour made it difficult for Mom and Aunt Betty to walk around in Chinatown, so we all went to the Museum of Regiments (for Steve). After that, we hit the road for Banff. I really really wish I can go there in winter. We had a pretty spacious apartment hotel, with two bedrooms, a living room with two sofa beds, and a kitchen. We took a look at Bow Falls and the Banff Springs Hotel, then had a late dinner at a swanky steakhouse. I have never been so full in my life.

DAY 3: Got an early start and headed up to Sulfur Mountain. It was quite chilly, so Mom and Aunt Betty stayed indoors while the rest of us walked to the next peak.

FUNNY STORY: I have never seen so many people fascinated by a chipmunk. There were at least a dozen tourists chasing the poor thing with their cameras.

Once we got back on the ground, we went next door to the Banff Upper Hot Springs. Not exactly what I had expected, it was sitting in a swimming pool with very warm water. The sign recommended that we stay in for only 20 minutes, so naturally we stayed for 40. Nice and pruney.

FUNNY STORY: The hot springs was where Edmond debuted his tattoo. I had known about it for weeks beforehand but I wasn't supposed to know, so nobody discussed it. He told my dad in the hopes that Dad would gently break the news to my mom, so that she wouldn't be surprised and upset in the middle of our vacation. Smart move. A funny side effect was Steve coming up to me in the pool and saying, "Was I the only person who didn't know about this?!"

After one more look at the town, we hit the road for Lake Louise. We arrived in time for lunch at the Chateau Lake Louise. The clouds had rolled in by the time we had finished eating, so the mountains were obscured, but we took photos anyway. I've never seen such milky blue opaque water. We continued on to the Columbia Icefield. Mom and Aunt Betty stayed behind in the car. We decided to walk up ourselves instead of taking the Snocoach for timing and financial reasons ($30?!). The hike up was somewhat tiring, and it was WICKED cold. It didn't help that they had placed information plaques along the way, talking about all the ways people can die on the glacier. It was like walking on a snow cone, kind of crunchy. I was worried about slipping and falling, but I actually slipped more on the loose gravel on the way down from the glacier than I did on the ice. It felt like we had been gone forever, but my aunt was surprised that we only took 40 minutes. We had a quick snack, then pressed on to Jasper, stopping only for various wildlife. We arrived fairly late, and had dinner in a Greek restaurant (another huge meal). We then drove about 45 minutes east of Jasper to Hinton, where our hotel was.

DAY 4: FUNNY STORY: We had separated into two rooms in Hinton, girls in one, guys in the other. Apparently, my dad had set the alarm clock because we had a long day of driving ahead of us. When the alarm went off, Edmond bolted upright in a daze, then promptly turned and punched Steve in the chest. When I asked Edmond why he did that, he replied, "I was trying to make it stop." Steve had been asleep at the time when he was rudely awakened, and has sworn revenge. My dad was lucky enough to have witnessed the whole thing.

We had a continental breakfast at the hotel before we drove into Jasper. After walking around and doing some shopping, we bought some lunch for the road and headed towards BC. We drove for five hours straight to Prince George, where Edmond could no longer contain his bladder. He was also incredibly choosy, refusing to stop at the many gas stations that we passed on our way into town. We finally spotted a Tim Hortons, and he tore out of the car before my dad came to a complete stop. Just his luck, the whole store was actually still under construction, so he ran into a nearby restaurant, where we all headed straight for the washroom before we sat down and had a meal (it was too late to call it lunch but too early to call it dinner). We drove around a little before we got back on the highway and continued south to Barkerville. It was almost exactly like driving in rural Ontario, except there were a lot of mountains on the left.

We arrived in Barkerville around 7pm, where my Aunt Shirley and Uncle Johnson were waiting for us. We ate dinner at her restaurant. We then drove back to the town of Wells, where our hotel was. We unloaded our stuff, then drove to the town dump in search of bears. We were able to see three little ones, and even ended up feeding one of them a slightly ripe leftover Subway sandwich.

DAY 5: Barkerville was definitely way more interesting than I had previously thought. The people in the period costumes rarely were rarely out of character, and even interacted with each other on the street and in the shops as though they were really from the 1800s. Most of the buildings were set up as displays and you could only look in from the door, but others were actual businesses, like the bakery and the general store. This day was spent touring the town, exploring the different buildings, catching the (slightly cheesy) musical stage show, and observing my aunt and uncle at work, as we ate all our meals at the restaurant.

DAY 6: Good thing we had another full day, we weren't able to take it all in the day before. First thing after breakfast was a horse-drawn wagon ride up a very narrow mountainside path to the courthouse. The mosquitoes were out in full force but since it was really chilly we were all pretty well protected. The judge reenacted a few of the more interesting cases from back in the day. We were told later that usually there are two or three people there who do the reenactment, but I guess those guys had the day off, and so the judge also had to play the part of a number of defendants, lawyers, jury members, and I think a couple of different judges too. Afterwards, my dad got told off by the judge for not keeping his hat off his head while he was in the building.

Next, we got to pan for gold.

FUNNY STORY: It was supposed to cost $5/pan, but the guy at the counter asked my mom, "Where are you from?" My mom was about to say "Toronto", but since the guy asked it in a funny way, she said we were from the Chinese restaurant and explained that Shirley was her sister. The guy immediately gave my mom back her money and said, "Johnson's going to kill me if I take your money." Then, instead of giving us one of the pans on the counter, he went into the back room and brought out three "different" pans. Our panning exercise drew the attention of other tourists. Once the kids saw the gold in our pans, they went into the store to give it a try. My mom watched as the kids swirled the water around, and ended up with maybe a third of the amount of gold that we got.

For dinner, we trekked out to Bowron Lake, to have steaks at Becker's Lodge. Very scenic. Aunt Betty and the kitchen staff took off for the casino and another game of mah jong while the rest of us relaxed for the remainder of the evening.

DAY 7: One last meal at the Lung Duck Tong, and then we hit the road for a 10 hour journey to Vancouver. Stopped a few times, including a change of driver, which allowed me to terrorize my mother for a good two hours. We made it into town at around 9:30pm, and after deciphering Uncle Johnson's confusing directions, got to the hotel. We were given the coolest rooms I've ever seen. They were loft-style, with the king-sized bed located in the upstairs area. Since we were in Richmond, it wasn't too difficult to find a Chinese restaurant for a late dinner.

DAY 8: The next morning, we tried calling my cousin Annie again (we had tried the night before) and discovered that we had called the wrong number earlier. Got a hold of Michael, Annie's husband, and arranged to meet for dim sum in Chinatown. We got to Chinatown early and walked around before going to the restaurant. After eating, Michael and Annie and their kids, Jessica and Brian, spent the entire day sight-seeing with us. We went to Canada Place, Stanley Park, West Vancouver, Granville Island, UBC, and then to New Westminster to have a sushi dinner. Luckily enough, there was an event going on at the pier and there would be fireworks in the evening. There was also a very convenient casino there, so Aunt Betty met up with her friends and went gambling, while the rest of us enjoyed the fireworks and then went back to the hotel.

DAY 9: Most of us were awake early the next day, so Dad, Mom, Aunt Betty and I had a quick breakfast, then Mom and Aunt Betty shopped around while Dad and I went back to the hotel to pick up my brothers. We got together with my dad's cousins for dim sum at a fancy Chinese restaurant, and then drove to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Edmond and I were the only ones who went in, as we both were able to get the student discount. There were a lot of people on the bridge, making it somewhat unstable and difficult to take photos. We walked about and then went back across to the gift shop, where I could have sworn was swaying just like the bridge. We joined up with my family at a small restaurant across the street, then found that Michael had called and invited us to their house. Steve was COMPLETELY in favour of going, due to the Porsche that lives in Michael's garage. We got there and Steve had to try to stop drooling everywhere. He even got to drive it, making my mom extremely nervous. Edmond got a ride too but definitely was not allowed to touch the steering wheel. We drove together to Deep Cove, which is apparently where J.Lo and Ben live when they're in the city, then to Gastown to see the Steam Clock, and finally to Robson Street, where all the high end swanky stores are. We walked around but didn't do any shopping.

DAY 10 (departure day): We packed up and went to a nearby restaurant for breakfast (Chinese, of course). We were able to find our way to the car rental place at the airport to drop off the car, then checked in and said our goodbyes to my aunt before we boarded our plane for home.

I don't know if this is something that they do all the time now on planes, but I think they should really rethink their strategy of reminding passengers about locations of the emergency exits when they're just about to land. My parents looked at me with wide eyes and were wondering what the hell was wrong...

So...I survived a road trip with my family. I had my doubts, but things turned out okay. Nobody got lost, or maimed, or violently ill. Not to say that this usually happens to us when we go on vacation, but you never know with my family.

Great lines of conversation:

Edmond: Do bears eat sheep?
Steve: They eat honey, stupid.
Me (laughing): Well, I guess we know where you got your education. But by that logic, don't bears also eat picnic baskets?

Mom: The binoculars make me dizzy.
Edmond: How can they make you dizzy? I'm holding them.