Chapter 37

The candles flickered in the dimness of the hospital chapel. Their shadows dancing on the walls. The floor was hard. Cold beneath her as she knelt to pray. For her husband. His life. Her life. He WAS her life. Her golden head stayed bowed even with the sound of approaching footsteps. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Theresa kneel beside her. She felt the warmth of her hand in her own. The gentle pressure was a comfort to her, and she squeezed the younger woman’s hand with a tiny, wavering smile as she stood on unsteady feet. “He HAS to be okay, Theresa. He has to. God didn’t bring us back together only to tear us apart so soon. I know he didn’t.” Theresa’s only answer was a watery smile. Sheridan sighed and leaned back against wooden pew. Her eyes closed. “Your brother taught me the true meaning of love,” she whispered. Lost in her own memories.

*****"It's me again. Tonight the most wonderful thing happened. Luis and I made love for the first time. I've never felt this way before. I didn't think I could love anybody this much. Love Luis more than I already did. I was wrong. So wrong. Luis is the sweetest, most loving man."

"I want to spend forever with him. Be his wife. Mother of his children. I can see our children. Our children of the future in my heart. They're so beautiful. Luis is beautiful. I love him. I don't think I can say that enough. I'll never get tired of saying it. He has to know. How happy he's made me. How I feel. I've already said the words. But I wonder if he realizes, truly realizes, that now he's a part of me. I can't let him go. Ever again. I won't."*****

She remembered scrawling those words as if it were yesterday. Luis had made an imprint on her heart that would never go away. He’d woken up. Panicked when she wasn’t by his side, she knew. She could hear it in his voice. She knew the same feeling every night, every minute she spent without him.

*****She'd looked up. Smiled at him and said, "I'm here, Luis." He'd held out his hand. Beckoning her. Took her hand in his as he pulled her back against the pillows. Back into bed with him. Her soft laughter filled the room. Her eyes shone in the darkness. He kissed her. Slowly, gently. Eased the buttons of her shirt--his shirt--open and bared her to him once more. He was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. They made love again. Their happiness so great, their feelings for each other so clear in their eyes. He didn't have to tell her he loved her. She didn't have to tell him. They just knew.*****

“Even when I didn’t remember who I was. Who he was. I knew…deep in my heart…that I loved him, Theresa. It’s a feeling so strong…it scares me sometimes,” she said softly. Theresa squeezed her hand again. Giving her the confidence she needed to go on. She needed to talk. Talking about Luis seemed to chase away the fear in her heart. If only for a few short minutes. “He was so gentle. So understanding when I…”

*****"Luis. Say something," she pleaded. Running a nervous hand through her hair. Her short hair. "You cut your hair," he said. Staring at her in shock. She looked just like she had three years ago. Exactly the same. If he didn't know better, he would think the last three years were a dream.

"You don't like it," she said. Casting her eyes downward. "I thought..." "Sheridan," he said. Coming to stand just in front of her. Tilting her chin up with a finger. "Sheridan. Look at me. I love it. Just a bit surprised. That's all."

"Really?" she asked. Blue eyes alight with so much--he couldn't name what was in her eyes. "Really. You look beautiful." He wanted so much to believe the look in her beautiful eyes was love.

"I thought," she began. "I thought it might help. You know. If I looked the way I did all those years ago. Maybe help me remember the way things were. I want so much to remember, Luis. Everything," she said earnestly. "Not just flashes here and there. I want to remember it all." "I know," he said. Taking her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"So," he laughed, "was this the surprise Gwen was talking about? Your hair?" "Part of it," she said. Pulling him into the kitchen. And proudly showing him the candlelit table. A table set for two. "Um, I wanted to do something nice for you. Pay you back for being so sweet and understanding. Don't worry," she giggled. "I didn't cook the food. Pilar sent it over. All your favorite dishes." She gasped in surprise when he pulled her into his arms. Hugging her tightly. "Thank you," he breathed.

He pulled back. Conscious that he was practically crushing her in his embrace. "Sorry," he apologized. "And before you ask, I love your surprise," he quickly said. Earning a brilliant smile from her. He returned her smile and pulled her chair out for her. Then he seated himself. He poured them both a glass of wine and lifted his glass in celebration. "To second chances." The look in his dark eyes made her shiver as their glasses clinked together. "Second chances," she repeated. Softly. Taking a sip of her wine.

They enjoyed their meal. Talking. Laughing. Going over the events of their respective days. But mostly they talked about Ali. And Luis thought back to a night so long ago. When Ali came into existence. A night so much like tonight. Sheridan blushed at his admission. Sometimes--she wasn't sure if it were dream or fantasy--she imagined being in his arms. Waking up together. She nearly spilled her wine when he said, "Penny for your thoughts." He hid his smile from her. He was falling in love with her all over again tonight.

He rose from his seat and offered her his hand. "Dance with me," he said. Not an order. But a request. She slid her hand into his and stood up. Blue eyes locked with brown. He tucked her hand away and led her into the living room where he turned the radio on. Soft, romantic notes filtering through the air. A woman's voice weaving magic around the words. He pulled her body close. And they began swaying to the music. Moving closer and closer. Sheridan sighed. Relaxing in his arms completely. Luis responded by holder her tighter. Burying his nose in her hair as she melted into him.

He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment they stopped moving. The exact moment he pulled away to look into her eyes. Drowning in their blueness. All he could remember was the way she sighed as he ran his knuckles across her cheek. The way she closed her eyes as he planted tiny kisses on her brow. Her eyelids. The way she slipped her arms around his neck. Pulling him closer. Trembling as his lips descended on hers. How sweet she tasted. Their kisses growing bolder. More intense. Until the flash of a car's lights shattered the moment. And she pulled away. Her eyes a mixture of surprise. Confusion. Desire. The moment was over as soon as it began. He ran his hand through his hair as he went to answer the door. When he turned around--Ali's sleeping body in his arms--she was gone.

She leaned back against her closed door and shut her eyes. Tightly. Willing her heart to stop racing. Her breathing to slow down. What had happened? What had happened just moments ago with Luis? Her thoughts were muddled. Cloudy. So confused. She opened her eyes and looked around the room. Searching for answers. Clues to her identity. Wishing so hard she could just remember. Remember things the way they were.

She flipped the lamp on her nightstand on. Bathing the room in a soft glow. Reached for the photo and held it up. Studying their faces. It was a picture of her, Luis, and Ali. A family. Taken just a week before by Pilar. She ran her finger across Luis's handsome face and whispered, "Why? Why is it so hard?" She clasped the photo against her heart as she imagined the hurt she was sure was in his dark eyes the minute he discovered she was gone. She didn't want to hurt him.

But she couldn't help it. Every time she pulled away, every time she had to question him about something that held special meaning for them--as a family, as husband and wife--it hurt him. He tried to hide it from her, but she could see it in his eyes. Tears seeped from underneath her lashes. Tears of frustration. Would they ever have the love that she saw so clearly in all those pictures again?

She jerked at his soft knock. Clutching the picture closer. "Sheridan?" he called. Quietly. He didn't want to wake Ali. "Sheridan? Are you okay? Can I come in?" She tried to swallow around the lump in her throat. Tried to wipe away her tears before she answered. "Okay. I guess not," she heard him say to himself in a sad voice. "Goodnight."

"Luis. Wait," she called. Pulling the door open. "Don't go." He stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly.

"You're not okay," he said in concern. Standing in front of her and tracing the path of one of her tears. His concern and tenderness only caused her to cry harder. "Shhh," he soothed. Taking her into his arms. Running his hands up and down her back in an effort to calm her. "It's okay. Go ahead and cry." She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed. Grateful he was there to hold her. Feeling selfish for being grateful. "Why do you put up with me?" she asked. Stepping out of his warm, comforting embrace.

He just smiled at her. Took one of her hands in his own. Threading his fingers through hers. "Easy," he said as he brushed her blond hair back off her face. "Because I love you," he answered steadily. She gasped in surprise. The man standing in front of her was too wonderful. Almost unreal. "Even if I never recover my memory?" "Even if," he answered back seriously. "Luis," she whispered. "I'm sorry I ran." "It's okay. I'm sorry I let things get carried away so fast." "It wasn't just your fault. I let you kiss me. I wanted you to kiss me," she admitted with a shy smile.

"Oh, you did, did you?" he teased. Enjoying the blush that crept into her cheeks. "So...what do you say? Was that the best kiss in memory or what?" "Luis," she laughed. Blue eyes twinkling as she playfully punched him in the arm. "That was the only kiss in memory." "Well, we can fix that," he said pulling her close. "And how might we do that?" she said breathlessly. Gazing into his brown eyes. "Like this," he said. Planting a sweet, lingering kiss on her lips. "Luis," she called to him as he walked to his room just down the hall. "That was the best kiss in memory." He laughed. "Goodnight, Sheridan. I love you." "Goodnight, Luis." I love you, too, she thought with a smile. *****

“Then I got my memories back. All of them. And Martin returned to our lives.” Theresa wiped at the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes as Sheridan talked about that day. “He was so scared he had lost you again,” she said quietly. “But he got you back. And Papa, too.”

*****Papa? Papa, is that really you?" Luis asked. Slowly. His words tinged with shock as he moved closer and closer to the man he hadn't seen in years. Many years. Too many years. Sheridan felt tears come to her eyes as she saw the tears in her husband's brown eyes. Tears in Martin's eyes. The man who had protected her. Saved her. Brought her back to her family.

Martin's voice shook with emotion as he answered his son. "Yes. Yes, Son, it's me." "Oh my god," Luis whispered as he looked at his father. Realized it wasn't all a dream. "You're really here. I'm not just imagining this," he said as he hugged his father. Hard. Closing his eyes and remembering the last time they had hugged this way. He was just a boy. Mama was so young. "Mama," Luis gasped. His dark brown eyes going wide. Pulling away to meet his father's eyes.

"Yes, Luis. I talked with your mother," Martin said with a grin. Twinkling eyes. "She was, she was surprised." "She was sobbing," Luis corrected. Backing away. Slight anger making his voice rise. "She's never given up hope," he said. Dark eyes glittering as he bore into his father. Trying to see into his soul. Get answers to all the questions. Find out why. "She lit a candle for you all these years. Convinced you were still alive. Her faith unshakeable. Why Papa? And where have you been all these years?"

Martin's eyes shifted to her. As if asking permission. She felt her throat tighten with tears as she answered for him. "My father, Luis. It was my father's doing," she said in a trembling voice. Pain ripping through her heart as she realized anew just how much hurt, how much pain her father had caused during his lifetime. She squeezed the hand Martin offered. Leaned into Ali's sweet embrace. Luis was silent. Unwilling to upset her any further.

"Later, Luis," Martin said. Promise in his voice. "I'll fill you--and your mother when she gets here, in on all the details later." "Mama's coming?" Luis asked. In disbelief. "Uncle Miguel's bringing her, Daddy. They're bringing the b..." Sheridan stopped her with a hand over her mouth. A grin stole over Luis's face. No doubt picturing the look on his mother's face when she came face to face with his father once again. And the look on his father's face when he met his grandson. His namesake. M.J. Sheridan's blue eyes sparkled with love and happiness at the joy written on Luis's face.

She was still smiling when she found herself alone with her husband minutes later. Ali and Martin getting reacquainted. As granddaughter and grandfather. "Sheridan," Luis breathed pulling her body close. "I have my Papa back. He saved you. Twice," he said. Releasing her. Barely catching the brief flash of discomfort, pain, that shone in her beautiful eyes. "Did I hurt you? I did, didn't I?" he asked. Concern in his dark eyes as he looked at her. Really looked at her for the first time since entering the hospital room. "I nearly lost you. Again," he choked. Fingering the bandage on her forehead.

She reached up and covered his hand with her own as it cradled her cheek. Leaned into his touch. "I'm still here, Luis. I'm never leaving you. Never again. My heart will always be with you," she whispered. Laughing lightly as he wiped the tears that escaped from her blue eyes away. "I love you," she said. Smiling brilliantly at him. At the tender smile that lit his own face. "I loved you then. I love you now. And I will always love you. No matter what. You're not going to get rid of me that easy, Buster. When I promised myself to you with our wedding vows, I meant forever."

"Our...you?," he began. Understanding dawning on his beloved features. "Oh Sheridan," he said. Cupping her face in his hands. "Welcome back. I've been waiting so long. Here I was, on the way to the hospital, cursing this day. Hating myself for letting you and Ali out of my sight. For even a minute. So scared I had lost you both. Forever this time. But I didn't lose you. Either of you. You're both okay," he said. Searching her eyes for verification. "Just a mild concussion and a few fractured ribs," she qualified. "Ouch," he said. Tracing her features with the tips of his fingers. Delighting in her soft sighs.

"You're both okay. Thanks to my father. My papa. Sheridan, Papa's back," he said in excitement. "Yes, he is," she said. Laughing softly. "This is the happiest day of my life," he said. Bringing his lips to hers. Kissing her tenderly. Sweetly. "Mine, too," she whispered. Leaning her forehead against his. Holding him close. Kissing him again, and snuggling close as he pulled her into his arms and lay back against the pillows. Wrapping his arms securely around her. Smiling into her shoulder when they heard a wonderful sound just moments later. A smile that was there to stay as they listened. As husband and wife reunited.*****

“We were a family again,” Sheridan sighed happily.

*****“Goodnight Daddy," Ali yawned. Nestled in her mother's arms. Stroking the kitten snuggled against her chest contentedly. "Night, AliCat," he whispered. With a kiss to her forehead. Ruffling her long blond hair and ignoring the purring white bundle she held close like a treasure.

Until Ali said, "Kiss the kitty goodnight, too, Daddy." Luis's mouth hung open at her request. His brown eyes traveled from Ali and the kitten to his wife's blue eyes. Shining with amusement in the dimly lit room. Her eyes were twinkling. Laughing. But she kept a straight face when she said, "Go ahead, Luis. She's part of the family now." She was good, he thought with an inward groan. Too good. He would have already cracked.

"How 'bout I just pet her instead?" "Nope," Ali said in all seriousness with a shake of her head. "She wants a kiss." He looked to Sheridan for help. Any escape. But he found none. She was having difficulty smothering her laughter. Ali's blue eyes watched him expectantly. Waiting. He didn't stand a chance. Ali giggled in satisfaction when he granted her request, and Sheridan's laughter rang out behind her as she carried Ali to her bedroom to tuck her in.

He was waiting for her when she returned. Several minutes later. Catching her by surprise when he grabbed her. Tumbling onto the bed and tickling her. Mercilessly. "Luis," she gasped between giggles. Giggles eerily like Ali's. "Luis. Stop. Please," she pleaded.

He ignored her. Instead pinning her arms above her head easily with one large brown hand and attacking her sides and stomach with the other. "No," he laughed as she squirmed beneath his hold. "It's your punishment. For bringing that...that cat home with you." "I knew it! The truth's revealed. Why didn't you just say so?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. Causing her to laugh even harder. "What? And break Ali's heart?" "Luis," she said with a smile. "Admit it. You're putty in Ali's hands." He grinned at her. Loosening his grip on her hands unconsciously. "Yeah, well. It's the eyes that get me. Those blue eyes do me in every time," he said. Gazing into hers.

"Thanks for the inside info," she said. From her new vantage point astride him. He laughed at her. Embarrassed to be had. "You tricked me." "Yeah. And it was so easy," she smirked. He ran his hands up and down her legs smiling wider when she shut her eyes. Completely forgetting what she was about to say. “Tell me something,” he said.

"Hmm?" she sighed. Enjoying the feeling of his hands on her. Cloudy blue eyes opening and staring at him when his movements stilled. "What?" He flashed a bright grin her way. Then he said, "What are you doing stealing Ali's pjs again?" "Argh! Luis!" she huffed. "These are mine. Thank you very much." Playfully smacking him before he captured her hand in his. Turned it over. And placed kisses on her wrist and palm.

He tugged at her arm. Pulling her closer. So close he could feel her soft breath on his face. "Did I say I didn't like them?" Slipping his hand underneath the back of the tank she wore. Leaning in to kiss her softly. "In fact," he whispered, punctuating each word with a kiss, "I love them." "Oh god," she moaned when he moved his hand up her rib cage to cup her breast.

"You're driving me crazy." "Good. Nice to see I haven't lost my touch." Kissing her again. Deeply. Loving the feel of her against him after so long. They broke apart. Breathless. She looked at him with hooded eyes as her hands went to the bottom of the tank she wore. Just about to pull it over her head when a voice stilled her movements.

"Mommy!" He groaned in frustration when he heard her next words. "The kitty had an accident." Sheridan laughed and moved off of him. "I'm coming, Baby." He grabbed her hand and pulled her back for another kiss. Grumbling as they parted. "Damn cat." She just laughed at him as she opened the door. And left. He sank back against the pillows and sighed. He knew he didn't like cats for a reason.

"Oh no. What are you doing with that thing in here?" he said when she came back in a few minutes. The tiny animal in her arms. "I'm putting her in our bathroom. With her litter box. That way Ali won't be able to sneak her back into bed with her." He laughed as he said, "She would, wouldn't she? Okay. Just don't leave the door open. I don't want to wake up with that ball of fur in bed with us." "Luis. It's just a kitten. A harmless kitten."

"Just a kitten," he muttered later. As it meowed. Continuously from behind the bathroom door. Sheridan laughed against his lips. "I'm sorry. I can't. You know. With the..." She fell against his chest. Helpless to stop her laughter. Shaking against him when she heard their daughter's voice at the door.

"Mommy? Daddy? Can I sleep with you?" What the hell, he thought. "Come on in, AliCat. What?" he asked when she paused in the doorway. A funny look on her face. She looked to Sheridan. Sheridan turned her blue gaze on him. "Okay. Go get her." "Thank you, Daddy!" Ali said excitedly before running to the bathroom and freeing the kitten from its prison. She scrambled into bed between them. The kitten purring in pleasure as it lay against her chest.

Ali and her brand-new partner in crime were fast asleep within minutes. He lay on his side. Watching his wife watch their daughter sleep. She kissed Ali's forehead sweetly and brushed her hair back off her face before meeting his eyes. He reached out and linked his fingers with hers. Giving her hand a squeeze. Before letting go. Closing his eyes. And drifting off. *****

Theresa’s light laughter filled the chapel. “He puts on a good show, but Sheridan…I think there’s more love in that love-hate relationship between him and Miss Priss than hate. Sheridan’s blue eyes sparkled. “Me, too.” “Sheridan,” Theresa questioned gently. “I’ve always wondered…” “Hmm?” “The whole story behind Nick Taylor and that day…Luis didn’t look happy at all.” “Your brother was jealous,” Sheridan sighed. Crossing her arms across her chest. “Anyone with two eyes could have seen that,” Theresa smiled. “Our first fight after my memory returned was over Nick.”

*****He watched her blue eyes fill with confusion. She opened her mouth to say something but shut it just as quickly. The words wouldn't come. He knew how she felt. Because at that moment, words couldn't describe the feelings rushing through him. And he knew she could tell something was bothering him. He clenched his jaw when she shifted her gaze from him to the man behind him. Nick Taylor. She cast one more questioning look his way before she walked past him. To greet their guest. "Nick! It's great to see you. I thought you said you couldn't come," she said. Leaning up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He looked away. Locking eyes with Eve. "Nick?" she said. Extending her hand in greeting. "I'm Eve Russell. A friend of Sheridan and Luis. Nice to meet you."

Nick took her hand. Shook it politely. "Nick Taylor. Nice to meet you as well." "So," Eve began. Hoping to dispel some of the tension. "What field are you in? Sheridan told me you were a doctor," she asked. Walking down the hall. Toward the kitchen. Leaving Sheridan and Luis in their wake. Luis started to follow them. But Sheridan stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Luis? What's got in to you? You're upset. I can tell." "What gives you that idea?" he asked. Staring into her eyes. She really didn't get it. He'd thought they'd seen the last of Dr. Taylor. He would be forever indebted to him for saving her life. But a blind man could see the man was in love with her. Why couldn't she? "Luis, answer me. You were fine earlier. What happened?" "You really can't see it, can you?" he asked incredulously. "Forget I asked, Mr. Jekyll and Hyde," she said in a hurt voice. "By the way," she threw back over her shoulder as she walked away, her arms folded protectively over her chest. "You really need to watch what you say in front of our daughter from now on. She may be too little to understand the words, but that doesn't mean she won't repeat them."

He watched her later. With Ali. And Nick. They were so easy around each other. Comfortable. Laughing and having a good time with all the other guests. Nick was a hit. Theresa got along with him so well, he thought Ethan was going to turn green. No one could tell him any different after that little display. Ethan still felt something for his sister. His feelings were just as plain as the ones that shone in Nick's gray eyes.

"Hey, Buddy," Hank said. Giving him a brotherly slap on the back. "How you doing?" He turned to Hank silently. And just stared into his friend's eyes. "Ouch, Man. That bad? Listen. You have nothing to worry about. So the good doctor has feelings for your wife." "Feelings Hank? He's in love with her. And she's completely blind to the fact. Look at him. It's obvious. Everyone here can tell. Even Eve knew."

"So what," Hank said. "It doesn't matter. Because if there's one thing I know, Luis, it's that Sheridan loves you. No one else. The reason she's so blind to his feelings is because she doesn't think about him that way. You're the only man for her, Buddy. Stop worrying." What Hank said made sense. But he couldn't squash down the uneasiness he felt.

"Hey, Luis," Gwen said in passing. "Hank," she said. With a pointed glare. "You take this one." Dragging Jake by the hand. "Jake, what did you do this time?" Hank said. Jake looked down at the ground. Shuffling his feet. "Well...Dad, it's kind of a long story." "I got all the time in the world, Jake. Spit it out." A genuine chuckle escaped Luis's lips as he watched his friend interact with his son. God must have a really good sense of humor, he thought. Hank was dealing with his five-year-old self.

He wandered across the yard. Coming to a stop just feet away from his family. His eyes connecting with Sheridan's. As she held MJ in her arms. All his anger, all his jealously faded to the back of his mind as he watched her with his nephew. She looked at him. And he could tell what she was thinking. Remembering Ali at that age. There was such longing in her blue eyes. Such love. But then her face changed. He couldn't help the small smile that came over his lips. She was trying so hard to stay mad at him. It was a fight she continued to fight the remainder of the day. She just wouldn't let him in. There were a few times she nearly cracked, but she managed to keep her guard up. It was going to be a long night, he thought as he watched her say goodbye to Nick. With a hug. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to meet the eyes of his father. "She owes him her life, Luis. She can't just forget that."

He digested what his father said before speaking. "Thanks Papa," he said. As he hugged his father in parting. "I think I needed to hear that. Especially from someone like you." "Mijo," his mother spoke up. "We're going to take Ali home with us. You and Sheridan have a lot to talk about. A lot to sort out." "Thanks," he said as he kissed her cheek. Tenderly brushed the hair back from his sleeping daughter's forehead and kissed her, too. "I know you'll take good care of our AliCat. See you in the morning," he waved.

“You can’t ignore me the whole night,” he said. As she brushed past him. Her mouth set in a grim line. “Try me,” she muttered under her breath. Slamming the door in his face. He groaned and leaned his weight against it. Hitting his head against it in frustration. Before turning the knob and walking in. “Sheridan! Sheridan, I’m sorry.” “Too little too late, Luis,” she said. “You acted like a complete jerk tonight. And,” she said. Throwing the pillow in her hands at him. Taking great satisfaction in the fact that it landed square in his face. “You’re sleeping on the couch.” “Sheridan! Sheridan, listen to me. I said I’m sorry. What more do you want?”

“For you to really mean it, Luis. Your behavior was uncalled for. Nick is my friend. I invited him. You could at least be nice to the man. He saved my life. He’s…” “He’s in love with you!” he yelled. She didn’t have an answer to that. And it dawned on him that maybe she wasn’t as blind as he first thought. Maybe she already knew.

“But I’m in love with you. Luis. Don’t you see that’s all that matters? Don’t you have faith in me? In my love? Enough faith that you wouldn’t feel threatened by Nick? I love you. I never looked twice at him,” she said. In a shaky voice. There were tears in her eyes. And he felt like the world’s biggest heel.

He moved forward. To touch her. But she stopped him by holding her hands up in front of her. “No, Luis. Stop right there. You’re not going to get off that easy. You were jealous of a man that is nothing more than my friend. A man who came to say goodbye. Forever. He’s leaving Luis. Moving. He hasn’t decided yet. But there’s nothing tying him down anymore. His flight leaves in the morning.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Aching to take her into his arms and kiss away the tears that coursed down her cheeks. “I overreacted. I was the world’s biggest jerk. Please say you forgive me,” he said. Moving closer. Ever closer. “I love you. So much. And just the thought of losing you again…just the thought of losing you whether it be to another man or some other force I can’t fight, it scares me. More than you can ever know.”

“But I do know, Luis. I’m scared, too. Scared that this is all a dream. Too good to be true. And I’m going to wake up in that hospital bed again and have no memory of you and Ali. That I’ll wake up and never remember you. I love you both,” she sobbed. Resisting his comfort for only a moment before giving in and crumpling in his arms. He held her as she cried. Gut wrenching sobs he realized had been a long time coming. She’d been through so much. They’d been through so much. But they’d ignored the feelings of sadness because of the overwhelming happiness of being back where they belonged. Together. “Shh,” he soothed. “It’s okay. I’m right here. You’re not going to wake up and find out this is all a dream. I promise.” “I believe you,” she whispered. Leaning her forehead against his and closing her eyes. They stayed that way for several minutes before she asked a simple question. “You really were jealous?”

He nodded his head. Too embarrassed to admit it aloud. “Luis, you have nothing to be jealous about. Even when I couldn’t remember you, I knew my heart belonged to you. Does that make sense?” she asked. Taking his hand in hers. “You were always in here,” she said. Placing his hand over her heart. “Always,” she breathed. Kissing him softly. Threading her fingers through his. And tugging him behind her as she led him down the hall. To their bedroom.

She reached to turn the bedside lamp on. But he stopped her with his hand on hers. "Don't," he whispered. Taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. "All we need is the moonlight," he said. Tracing her lips with his finger. Leaning in. Capturing her lips with his.

His hands tangled in her hair. Pulling her closer. And closer to him. She sighed softly against his lips, and he took that opportunity to deepen his kiss. One hand slipping down to the small of her back. Then under the shirt she wore. Meeting her silky skin. Blazing fire in its wake.

"Luis," she gasped. Breaking away. Blue eyes smoldering with desire. Matching his dark ones. The look in his dark eyes made her pulse quicken. Her hands went to the bottom of her shirt. Helping him take it off of her. Then he crushed her to him again. Kissing her wildly. Passionately. Finally gentling his kiss when the need for air became overwhelming.

He linked his hands with hers. Squeezing them tightly before letting them go. His hand easing up her arm in a touch so light she almost didn't know it was there. But it made her dizzy all the same. "You're beautiful," he whispered. Smiling at the slight blush he knew was creeping into her cheeks. Even in the moonlight.

"I've missed you. So much," she whispered. Leaning into his touch. The hand that cupped her cheek. "Kiss me, Luis," she breathed. She didn't have to ask twice. Lips met lips. And hands were everywhere at once. His shirt fell to the floor beside her own. Their jeans soon adding to the pile.

He breathed in sharply at her touch. The tickle of her nails on his back. Her blue eyes sparkled. Glittered in the soft light that bathed them. He stared into them as he lowered them both on the bed. Covering her body with his just a moment later. In her eyes he saw his past. And his future.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you? Any idea?” he asked her. His dark eyes searching her blue ones. “If it’s half as much as I love you, then yeah, I do,” she whispered. Tears welling in her eyes. Making his heart ache. Swell with love for her at the same time. “Show me, Luis. Make love to me.”

And he did. Kissing her tears away. Shedding the last barriers between them and making her his all over again. No words were spoken. Because they weren’t needed. . Every look, every touch, every kiss spoke of their love for one another.

They lay together later. Limbs entwined. The sound of his heart beating a comfort to her. Proof that what they just shared was real. Not a dream. A smile played at her lips. It was better than any dream had a right to be. And she told him so. Earning one of those breathtaking smiles of his that made her knees go weak.

He kissed her until she was breathless. Again. "Really?" he asked. Amusement evident in his voice. Amusement mixed with a little bit of pride. She laughed softly. As he flipped them over. Kissing down her neck. His hands trailing down her body. Making her come alive again. "Really," she gasped. His touch searing her. The last word uttered before he claimed her lips again. And the fire consumed them.*****

“Of course we made up,” Sheridan laughed. Blushing a becoming pink. “I can never stay mad at Luis for long. Never. I don’t know what I would do without him,” she whispered tremulously. Remembering that awful day. The day they visited her father. And his hateful words. “He’s my anchor.”

*****You're an embarrassment, Sheridan. An embarrassment to the Crane name. The only thing I regret is not killing Martin in the first place," he said. So much cruelty in his voice. His eyes. "That way you would have drowned in the accident. And I would finally be rid of you."

She'd never imagined one person could be so hateful. So heartless. She should have been used to it. Immune. Hardened her heart. But she couldn't. God help me, she thought as she stared out the window at the landscape passing by. Remembering his stinging words earlier.

He was her father. And as hard as she tried, she had not been able to abandon her hope that somehow, in some small way, he cared for her. Even just a little bit. Until today. When he'd told her she was better off dead. To her face. She felt her throat tighten with tears again, and she blindly reached out for Luis's hand.

Luis squeezed her hand in his. Cursing her father under his breath. A repeat of what he'd said earlier. She'd had to hold him back herself. Keep him from attacking Alistair as he cackled evilly from his hospital bed. Boasting that the secrets would die with him. The secrets surrounding Julian's son. Finally admitting he cared nothing for her. Knowing how much it'd wound her.

"Neither you nor Julian were ever worth a damn," she kept hearing him say. Taunting her. A sob escaped her throat then. And Luis pulled her to his side. His jaw set in a firm line. "If he wasn't already on his death bed, I'd kill the bastard," he ground out. Kissing her fevered forehead as he steered the car into his parents' drive.

"Sheridan. Baby. I'll be right back. I'm going to go inside and get Ali, okay?" She nodded her head and slipped from his arms. Desperately trying to wipe the evidence of her tears away before her daughter saw her. The car door opened a few minutes later, and she heard Luis talking to Ali quietly. Buckling her in.

Luis started the car, and they drove in silence. Clutching one another's hand like a lifeline. Ali said not a word from the backseat. She met her blue eyes once in the rear view mirror and saw fear and confusion in them. Fear and confusion and concern. "Luis?" she asked. As they passed the exit that would lead them home. "Luis? Where are we going?"

He said nothing. Only brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. She looked to him in surprise when they finally reached their destination. He got out of the car and hurried over to her side. Taking her hand and helping her out of the car. Then lifting Ali up into his arms. They were at the beach. And the sun was slowly fading in the distance.

Ali's somber mood from moments before vanished as she took in their surroundings. She loved the ocean. Just as her parents did. For the first time since they'd left her father's hospital room, Sheridan smiled. She loved the man beside her so much. And their beautiful little daughter. "Daddy, it's so pretty," Ali said in awe. Pointing at the horizon. At the sunset. "Not as pretty as my two girls," he said. Pulling her more firmly against him. Looking at them both with such adoration it warmed Sheridan's heart.

Luis set Ali on her feet. And she ran to the waves. Joyfully running back and forth along the shoreline. Squealing as they surged toward her. Spraying her with their mist. "Ali! Be careful, sweetie," she called. Sinking back into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her from behind as they watched their daughter play.

She leaned even further back into his embrace and sighed in contentment when he placed a gentle kiss on her neck. Whispered "I love you" in her ear. She looped her arm back behind her. Caressing his face. "I love you, too," she breathed. "Thank you for bringing me here. With Ali. How did you know exactly what I needed?"

"I know you. You're worth a million of your father, Sheridan. Don't ever forget that. A lot of people love you. Our friends. Our family. Me. And Ali," he said. Laughing as the tiny person whose name just escaped his lips came running towards them. Her long blond hair damp. Tangled from the wind.

"Mommy! Daddy! Look what I found," she said excitedly. Proudly showing off the shells in her little hand. Her blue eyes sparkled and her hair shone like gold in the waning sun. "Looks like you found treasure, AliCat," he said. Grinning at her enthusiasm. She grinned at him in return. Her smile impossibly big. And infectious. She laid the shells down, and crawled into her mother's arms. Snuggling close to her. Close to her warmth. He wrapped his arms about both of them. Watching until the sun was no more.*****

Chapter 38

"Sheridan…you don't give yourself enough credit," Theresa patted her hand. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. God forbid…if Luis.." "NO! Theresa…don't say it. Don't even think it. Luis is going to make it. I know it. I feel it in here," Sheridan said adamantly. Hand over her heart. "You're right," Theresa smiled. "My big brother won't let anything separate him from you and Ali and Cris. He's a fighter. Besides…whatever happened to that really big family you guys wanted to have? All Ali's brothers and sisters? I think it's about time you gave Mama and Papa another grandbaby. And make it a girl this time," she teased with a wink. "Jake's not even Mama's flesh and blood, but he's…" "A part of the family," Sheridan laughed. Taking Theresa's hand and climbing to her feet. "He's making Mama old before her time. And MJ's following in his footsteps. Are you coming?" Theresa asked when Sheridan didn't fall into step behind her. "Just give me a minute. Okay?" Theresa squeezed her hand. Then let it go. Disappearing out the chapel's doors. Sheridan closed her eyes and bowed her head. One more silent prayer couldn't hurt.

"Mija," Pilar embraced her. "He's out of surgery. The nurse said Eve would be out with Dr. West soon to tell us more about his condition." "That's good news, right? He made it through surgery,” she said hopefully. “He made it through,” Martin said reassuringly. “Sounds like good news to me.” “Sheridan,” Gwen whispered. Resting her chin on Sheridan’s shoulder. “He’s going to make it.” “I’ll bet money on it,” Hank grinned. And Sheridan burst into laughter at the absurdity of his costume. “Hey! Don’t make fun,” he pouted. But there was a twinkle in his eye. “I was a big hit with all the kids, wasn’t I Jake?” Jake rolled his eyes. “Sheridan…I was SO embarrassed,” he grumbled. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “Gwen? Where are the girls?” “You’ll never believe this,” Hank smirked. “Her mother came by and took them.” “And Sara was squalling her head off,” Gwen snorted. “Mom!” Jake hung his head. Snorting was so not cool. “Can I go see Ali?” he asked. Shuffling his feet. “Sure,” Sheridan smiled. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Chad and Theresa are with her right now,” Pilar told him.

“Look who’s here, Cristian,” Kay soothed. “It’s Mommy.” Sheridan’s heart went out when she saw the crystal tears slipping down her baby’s cheeks. “He missed you,” Kay said. Smiling when Cristian lay his head on his mother’s shoulder and immediately calmed down. “Told you, Kay,” she heard Miguel say. “He just wanted his mother. MJ was NOT terrorizing him.” “Okay,” Kay shook her head. “If you say so.” “DOW! DOW!” MJ demanded loudly. “What’s he saying?” Gwen whispered. “I think he wants down,” Sheridan answered her. Easing herself into one of the stiff, ugly chairs in the waiting area. “Here. Let me have him,” Hank offered. “NO! NO! NO!” MJ screamed hysterically. “Now you’ve done it, Bennett!” Gwen chastised him. “Look at him. He’s scarred for life.” “I should have warned you, Hank,” Pilar said with a slight smile on her lips. “He’s terrified of clowns.” “Really…well then…why didn’t he…earlier?” Pilar shrugged her shoulders. Martin shook with laughter.

MJ’s cries still echoed down the hall when Eve appeared. A somber expression on her face. “Eve? No! Luis! He didn’t…” “Sheridan…Sheridan,” she said calmly. “Luis made it through surgery. He’s in recovery right now.” “Thank God,” Pilar clutched her rosary. Sheridan took a deep breath. Her heart was racing. Her palms were sweaty. “There’s something wrong, isn’t there? Tell me. I can tell by the look on your face there’s something wrong.” Eve gave her a sympathetic smile. “I think it’s better if Dr. West explained the pr…situation to you.” Gwen’s brown eyes connected with Hank’s. Martin gripped Sheridan’s elbow firmly. “Where are Theresa and Miguel?” Eve asked. “They’ll want to be here.” “Miguel and Kay had to take MJ outside. Theresa and Chad are with Ali and Jake in Ali’s room,” Hank spoke. “I’ll go get Theresa,” he volunteered. “Mama?” Miguel asked. “What’s going on? Luis…” MJ slurped on a purple sucker. Wiggling to get down from Kay’s arms.

“Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald?” a distinguished man with light blue eyes to match his blue scrubs interrupted. “Yes,” Sheridan said anxiously. “I’m Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald. Luis’s wife.” Malcolm West smiled at her. “Your husband made it through surgery just fine.” Sheridan exhaled a sigh of relief. Hearing the news from Eve was one thing. Hearing it twice made her heart beat a little easier. “Thank you,” she said tearfully. Nuzzling Cristian’s fuzzy dark head. “No thanks needed,” Dr. West continued. Running a gentle hand over Cristian’s curls. His grandson was the same age. “Your husband has a lot going for him. He’s young. Strong. Has a lot of family and friends from what I can see. That’s good. Real good. He’ll need all of you in the days, weeks-- months even—ahead.” “Dr. West? What are you saying?” “Eve?” Pilar questioned. Martin gripped Sheridan’s elbow tighter. Good thing, Sheridan thought absently. Suddenly she felt…lightheaded. Weak. Their voices sounded so far away. Distant. She vaguely recognized that Theresa and Chad had joined them. “Sheridan?” “Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald? Did you hear what I said?” Sheridan’s blue eyes stared straight ahead in astonishment. “Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald?” The sounds, the words…she felt like she was at the end of long tunnel. A vacuum. Tears, apologies… It was Jake’s question that brought her crashing back down to earth. To a horrific reality she wasn’t sure if she could deal with. Yet. “Dad? What does paralyzed mean?”

Chapter 39

Sheridan glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Luis?” “Hmm?” he answered. His voice a low rumble from his chest. “We’re almost home.” “Yay!” Ali squealed. Giggling when Cristian clapped his hands. A sunny smile on his face. “I’m so glad you came home with us, Daddy,” Ali sighed happily. “Me, too,” Sheridan gave his hand a squeeze. “The house has been so lonely without you.” I’ve been so lonely without you, she thought. But didn’t say. “Miss Priss’s been crying something awful,” Ali piped up. “I think she missed you, too.” The thought of that annoying pain in the ass ball of white fur missing him…Luis just had to smile. “Really, AliCat?” “Really, Daddy,” she said seriously.

“We’re here,” Sheridan announced. The tension was rolling off Luis in waves. “Oh Mommy! Jake’s here!” Ali said excitedly. Scrambling out of the back seat and meeting Jake halfway. “Hey Ali! Want to play with my new water gun?” Ali shrieked when Jake doused her with a stream of cold water. “Jacob Bennett! Give me that,” Gwen ordered. “Here, Ali,” she grinned. Holding her son captive. “MOM!” Ali giggled wildly as the icy water jetted from the water gun. Virtually drowning Jake.

“Mija,” Pilar greeted with a smile. “Let me get Cristian for you.” “Thank you, Pilar,” Sheridan said sincerely. Kissing her son’s forehead as she handed him over to his grandmother. “Mijo,” Pilar patted Luis’s arm. “It’s good to have you home.” “HELP! Runaway monster on the loose,” Kay cried. MJ cackled deviously as he stumbled past. His mother in hot pursuit. “Go MJ!” Jake cheered. “What do you think, Luis? I keep telling Grace it’s not the devil in him. It’s the Bennett,” Hank grinned. Luis laughed. “That is the best birth control on the planet,” Hank cracked as Kay stalked by. MJ was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Sheridan…is there anything I can do to help?” Theresa offered. “Yeah…Auntie,” Chad grinned. “Anything you need…just ask.” Sheridan hugged them both. “I’m so happy you both decided to stay in Harmony a while. Just knowing you’re here helps.” “Let me get that for you,” Chad reached into the back seat and pulled out Luis’s newest mode of transportation. “Nice wheels you got here, Luis.” “Cool! Uncle Luis…,” Jake’s brown eyes twinkled mischievously. “Can you pop wheelies in that thing?” Luis shook his head with a smile. “Hmm…can’t say I’ve tried to yet. But you’ll be the first to know,” he said. Refusing Sheridan and Hank’s helping hands as he lowered himself into the shiny new wheelchair.

“Gwen…Dear…I think this little one needs…changed. Or something,” Ivy said. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she held Sara out at arms’ length. “I don’t believe it,” Hank teased. “Four kids and you still don’t know how to change a diaper.” Ivy rolled her eyes. “That’s what nannies are for.” Ethan wrapped his arms around Sheridan. “Aunt Sheridan…everything’s ready. Like you asked,” he whispered in her ear. “Here, Ivy. Give me Sara and you take Emily. I’ll change her,” Grace smiled. Ivy sighed in relief and took Emily from Grace’s arms. “Oh good! This is the happy one.” Hank slowed his step to walk beside Luis. “Becs wants to tattoo ‘Grumpy’ on Sara’s ankle so she can tell them apart.”

“Where’s Papa?” Luis asked. Groaning with the effort it took to wheel up the gentle slope leading to the front door. “Need help, Buddy?” Luis scowled at him in irritation. “Let’s get a few things straight here, Hank. I am NOT an invalid. This is just a temporary thing until I regain all the feeling in my legs.” “Hank wasn’t trying to make you feel helpless,” Sheridan soothed. “He was just trying to be helpful,” she said softly. Nuzzling his cheek. Luis hung his head. “Look…I’m sorry.” Hank held his hands up. “No apology necessary. I completely understand. It won’t happen again.”

“Luis,” Sam said. “The guys at the station said to say ‘Hello’. You know your old job’s waiting for you. Just as soon as you get back on your feet. I mean…as soon as you get well...,” Sam said awkwardly. “That’s okay, Sam,” Luis said soberly. “I know what you mean.” “Good,” Sam smiled somewhat more at ease. “In the meantime…if you’re open to doing desk duty…it’s all yours.” “Thanks, Sam,” Luis said. “I appreciate it.” “You’re welcome,” Sam gripped his shoulder. “Um…it looks like Grace needs a little help.” Luis looked over to where Grace sat on the sofa. Sara bawling her brown eyes out in one arm. And MJ shoving Sara away in the other. “MY NANA! MY NANA !” “Hell’s nothing compared to this,” Kay deadpanned. “Here, Miguel,” she growled. Thrusting their wiggling son in his arms. “Your son.” “Yours, too,” Miguel said embarrassedly as MJ tugged at his hair in a rage.

Luis drank the chaos in. He was home. So many things were familiar. MJ being a little devil. Old news. Kay liked to jest she’d given birth to Rosemary’s baby. His little brother did NOT wear the pants in that family. Neither did Kay, actually. MJ ruled the roost. Jake chasing Ali. He had a feeling Jake would ALWAYS chase Ali. Right to the altar. He didn’t put too much stock in FATE. But Jake and Ali…well, they just went together. Like peanut butter and jelly, he thought with a smile. Gwen and Hank. Always exchanging barbs. But everybody knew they loved each other. To distraction. Mama being the peacemaker. Ethan watching his little sister with a wistful smile.

But so many things had changed. Chad put the smile on his sister’s face now. Chad and Theresa. No one could have seen it coming. Or maybe…maybe it wasn’t so strange after all. They were good together, he thought. Watching as his little sis pecked Chad affectionately on the lips over Cristian’s fuzzy brown head. Papa saw him looking and winked. Hank was making a complete fool of himself. Talking baby gibberish to Emily. And Emily was eating it up. Hank and little girls. He had to love it. When hadn’t Hank made a fool of himself for a woman? Sheridan…She looked so tired. All because of him. This damn wheelchair. She was trying so hard to make things easier for him. How could she know seeing her like this made it that much harder? He felt helpless. He wanted to wipe all traces of fatigue and frustration from her pretty face. He wanted to see that smile again. That glorious smile. He caught glimpses of it now and again. But blink an eye, and it was gone. Replaced with a look of fierce determination.

They meant well. They all did. But he was relieved when they were gone. Ali curled up against his chest. War paint on her cheeks. Remnants from her and Jake’s latest adventure. He traced her features lovingly with his fingertips as he listened to his wife sing lullabies to their drowsy son. “He never falls asleep like she did,” Sheridan whispered. Continuing her gentle rocking. Cristian’s brown eyes drooped sleepily. “Daddy,” Ali mumbled in her sleep. “So glad…home.” He kissed her golden head and hugged her closer. Sheridan eased Cristian down into his crib and held out her arms for Ali. “I’ll take her, Luis. Why don’t you go get ready for bed?” Her lips lingered on his for just a moment. He watched her trudge wearily down the hall to Ali’s bedroom before he pushed off with a sigh. Miss Priss screeched when he ran over her tail and gave him a look that could kill. “I knew you didn’t miss me,” he smirked. Nudging the door open with his shoulder. This was a lot harder than it looked.

Everything…simple things he had taken for granted…were a lot harder. He slammed the dresser shut in frustration. Angry tears burning his eyes. Tears of rage. Her blue eyes were solemn as she pulled the tee shirt over his head. Helped him out of his pants. “Sheridan…you don’t…” She picked up his hand and kissed his palm. “You’ve been strong for me, Luis. Let me be strong for you.” He held onto her shoulders as she dressed him. Like a child. And lay him back against the pillows. Her fingers worked the buttons on her own shirt, and it fell from her shoulders. Her bra and jeans joined the mound on the floor. She picked up his discarded tee shirt and slipped it over her blond head. “I love you, Luis,” she whispered as she curled herself around his warmth. “What did I do to deserve you?” he choked. And she held him close as he cried.

Chapter 40

“Miss Sheridan! Dylan made Lissy cry.” Sheridan lay the pencil in her hand down and closed the record book. “Again,” Jolie tattled. Lissy was a slip of a little girl with the most enormous chocolate brown eyes Sheridan had ever seen. Dylan was no angel, but it didn’t take much to make those big brown eyes well up with tears. “Lissy, Sweetie…what did he say to you?” Lissy sniffled and shoved a fistful of tawny hair back behind her ear. “He made fun of me for not having a mommy,” she sobbed. Sheridan scooped the devastated 5 year-old up in her arms and sat down on the edge of her desk. Rubbing calming circles on Lissy’s back. “Shh. It’s okay. Dylan did a very mean thing, and I’m going to have a little talk with him later. Okay?” Lissy nodded her head against Sheridan’s neck.

“Jolie? Would you go get Lissy some water?” “Okay, Miss Sheridan.” After Jolie had gone, Lissy pulled back and stared into Sheridan’s blue eyes. Sheridan pulled a kleenex out of the box in her desk drawer and gently wiped Lissy’s tears away. “I miss my mommy.” “I know you do, Sweetie,” Sheridan whispered. “I miss mine, too.” “Did you mommy go to heaven like mine?” Sheridan nodded. “When I was a very little girl. Even smaller than you.” Lissy lay her head against Sheridan’s shoulder. Her fingers playing with her short curls. “I used to play with my mommy’s hair, too,” she said softly. Sheridan smiled sadly at Jolie when she came back with the cup of water.

Lissy stayed close the remainder of the day. Sheridan didn’t mind. Something about the tiny child reminded her of Ali. And she hoped that Lissy had family as loving as Ali had had. She talked with Dylan, and he apologized to Lissy by drawing her a picture. Of a dinosaur! But Lissy loved it all the same. She clutched it close when her father came to pick her up that afternoon. Like a treasure. Soon all the kids were gone, and she was alone. In her office. Staring at a picture of her own family. Her, Luis, Ali, and Cristian. Smiles on their faces. She held her head in her hands. Before that night. Everything had changed since then. Everything. She picked up the picture and held it up in front of her. “Luis…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to us.”

Luis had been home from the hospital for weeks now. And things still hadn’t returned to normal. She was kidding herself if she thought they ever would. Physical therapy wasn’t giving him the immediate results he wanted. The man she loved only made occasional appearances. He refused her offers of help. Insisting he could do everything just the way he had before. When even a simple thing like dressing himself was now a chore. This morning they had fought when she wanted to bring Ali and Cristian to the Youth Center with her. He’d insisted he was more than capable of taking care of them both. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in him. She only wanted to make things easier. But telling him that made him even angrier. He’d made her promise not to call and check up on them every hour. It’d been hard, but she’d kept her word.

She put the picture back down on her desk and set back to work. If she hurried, she’d be home before dinner. The minutes quickly turned into an hour, and she was just locking up when her cell rang. “Hello.” “Mommy?” “Ali? Sweetie? Is that you? What’s the matter, Baby? You sound like you’re crying?” “Oh Mommy!” she sobbed on the other end of the line. “Mommy! Please come home! Please, Mommy, please. Cristian was playing…” “Ali…calm down. Everything’s okay. Let me speak to Daddy.” Ali sobbed harder. “He can’t come to the phone.” “He can’t…Ali…” She heard a loud pounding noise. “Ali…who’s there? Talk to me, Sweetie.” “I called 9-1-1 just like you told me, Mommy.” Sheridan dropped the cell phone to the ground. And staggered on unsteady legs to her car.

She sped home as fast as she could. Not caring how many speeding laws she broke. Her heart was in her throat when she stumbled past the ambulance. Into the front door. “Ali! Luis! Where is he? Where’s my baby?” “Oh Mommy!” Ali flew into her arms. “It was so awful.” “What was? Luis? What happened? Where is he?” Luis’s golden brown eyes couldn’t meet her gaze. “They’re checking him out. He swallowed one of Ali’s toys. I was in the kitchen trying to make dinner, and I called Ali to get something for me. It was only a minute. Two tops. She screamed.” Ali clutched her desperately. “He was blue, Mommy. Daddy told me to call 9-1-1, and I did. Then I called you.” Sheridan ran her hands through Ali’s golden hair and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You did good, Sweetie. I’m proud of you.”

“Are you the mother?” a tall man with kind blue eyes said. Sheridan climbed to her feet and rushed to him. Taking her son from his arms. “This little guy’s doing okay. Thanks to dad and having such a smart big sister.” Ali smiled shyly at him. And ducked behind Sheridan’s legs. “Sometimes it comes in handy to have a police officer for a husband,” another stockier man joked. “You did good, Sir. If it weren’t for your quick thinking…there might not have been such a happy ending. The little tyke’s fine. Just scared him a bit.” “Thank God,” Sheridan whispered. Kissing Cristian’s forehead. Luis saw the paramedics to the door while Sheridan slumped down on the couch with her two babies curled in her arms.

“Mommy,” Ali whispered. “You’re crying.” Sheridan kissed Ali’s fingers as she brushed at her tears. “You scared Mommy. But I’m all better now. That I’m holding you both.” “It’s all my fault,” Luis’s voice startled her. Cristian sucked on his thumb. Taking hitching breaths. And Ali looked up at her with concerned blue eyes. “Luis…” “It is. You knew I couldn’t handle them both like this,” he said in a low voice. Pointing at his motionless legs. “It’s not your fault. It could have just as easily been me here instead of you, Luis,” she cried. Her voice getting louder and louder. Ali’s chin quivered as she asked, “Mommy? You and Daddy aren’t going to fight again, are you? It makes me sad when you fight.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and met Luis’s dark eyes across the room. “No, AliCat. We’re not going to fight again,” he promised softly with a sad smile. Wheeling closer. Ali snuggled against Sheridan. “Good. I feel really bad right here when you and Mommy get mad at each other,” she sniffled. Holding her hand over her heart. Sheridan’s eyes welled up with fresh tears. “Baby…I’m so sorry. Mommy and Daddy will always love each other. No matter what.” “Mommy’s right, AliCat,” Luis whispered. Stroking her hair gently. “We’ll always love each other.” Sheridan let loose a shaky breath and leaned in to kiss his lips. “No matter what?” Luis said. Searching her blue eyes.

They put Ali and Cristian down for bed together. And held each other as they watched them sleep. It was almost like…like he was saying goodbye, Sheridan thought. But she shook such thoughts from her head and took his hand. Their bedroom was bathed in pale moonlight as they lay together. They lay side by side. Facing each other. She fell asleep. His face the last thing she saw. His kiss still a sweet memory. Her dreams of the past. And the future she hoped they’d still share. In the morning when she woke…he was gone.

Chapter 41

“Are you sure you haven’t seen him? No. I…I do believe you. If you hear anything…anything at all from him, call me. Bye Hank.” “Still no word?” Theresa sighed. Sheridan looked at her with tearful blue eyes. “How could he do this to us? How could he?” Chad pulled her into his arms. “He’ll come back to you. He just needed time to think. I know this sounds crazy, but Luis…the guy is scared as hell right now. Not knowing if he’ll ever be the same. He’s afraid of letting you and the kids down.” Sheridan kissed him on the cheek and walked across the living room to the window. Staring outside. “Doesn’t he realize? Leaving us is the ONLY way he could let us down.” “Mommy?” a scared little voice made her turn around. “When’s Daddy coming home?” Theresa’s brown eyes were filled with sympathy. “Hey, AliCat,” Chad grinned. Scooping her up in his arms. “Hi,” Ali said despondently. “Mommy?” “Hey, Baby,” she whispered. Opening her arms to her tiny daughter. “C’mere.” Ali wrapped her arms tightly around her neck. “Daddy can’t wait to get home and see you. I’m sure he’ll be home soon. Don’t you worry.” “Really, Mommy?” Ali gazed up at her with innocent blue eyes. “Really,” Sheridan answered in a tremulous voice. “Hey,” she said brightly. As brightly as she could manage. “Aunt Theresa was just telling me how much she missed playing dress-up with you. What do you say? Sound like a good idea?” Ali’s blue eyes sought Theresa out. “I can do your make-up, too,” Theresa smiled. “Just like Mommy?” Ali said. Adoration plain in her voice. “Just like Mommy.”

“You’re making yourself sick, Mija,” Pilar came up behind her. Hugging her shoulders. “Try not to worry so. Luis will come home. I know it.” Sheridan smiled slightly at her. And rose to her feet to pace once more. “I love your son to death, Pilar. You know that. But he has too much damn pride!” Pilar ducked her head. What Sheridan said was true. Too true. Luis’s pride was getting in the way of his happiness. “Sheridan?” Martin’s voice startled her. “What is it? Have you heard any new news?” Martin shook his head sadly. “No. I’m sorry. That was your boss on the phone. He hasn’t been able to find anybody to cover for you.” Sheridan stopped in her tracks. “I can’t go to work at a time like this. Not knowing where Luis is. Not knowing how Luis is.” “Look,” Chad lay a restraining hand on her arm. “Let me handle it. I’ve volunteered at the Youth Center before. I’ll fill in for you today.” “Thank you, Chad. You’re a godsend.” “What’s family for?” he grinned back at her. “Tell Theresa…” “Don’t worry about it,” Martin waved after him. Sheridan moved about the living room restlessly. “Where’s Cristian?” she asked suddenly. After last night…she NEEDED to know her children were safe. Always.

“Kay and Miguel took him to the park with them and MJ, Mija.” “Oh,” Sheridan brought a hand up to her forehead. “I can’t believe I forgot! I’m losing my mind here.” Pilar watched her with a worried expression. All this stress lately…it certainly wasn’t good for any of them. “Did you call Sam? Maybe he knows something.” “Sheridan,” Martin said gently. “Sam hasn’t heard from him. He promised to call if he hears anything.” “Where is he? SOMEONE has to know SOMETHING,” she cried. Burying her weary face in her hands and collapsing on the sofa. “The car’s still here. Dammit! I don’t know what I’ll do first when I see him. Kiss him senseless or slap the $#!% out of him.” Martin hid his smile. There was that infamous temper! Sheridan groaned. How she wished Gwen were here! She was sure she’d know exactly what to say to make her feel better. Not as paranoid. Too bad she was on a business trip in New York. Traveling with Sara and Emily must be quite an adventure, she thought with a small laugh. Jake was home with Hank. She couldn’t believe that Hank of all people hadn’t heard from Luis. “Maybe I should try Hank’s again.”

Pilar handed her the phone, and Sheridan punched in the well-memorized digits. “Come on, Hank. Pick up. I know you’re there.” She sighed heavily when after fifteen rings Hank failed to answer and was about to hang up…”Hello?” “Jake! Hi. This is Sheridan. Is your dad there?” Jake’s voice sounded funny. High-pitched as he answered. “Sheridan…no. My dad isn’t here.” “Really?” Sheridan asked in confusion. “Jake? Are you there all by yourself?” That didn’t make sense. Hank would NEVER leave Jake alone. Especially after what happened to Ali. “Yes. No! Yes. I mean…no,” he finally settled on. “Which is it, Jake? Are you by yourself? Or is someone with you?” “Aww…man,” she heard Jake mutter under his breath on the other end of the line, and she couldn’t help but smile. Picturing the expression on his adorable face. “My dad’s not here,” he finally answered. “But I’m not by myself.” Sheridan’s heart filled with hope. Luis! “Jake…is Luis there with you?” Silence on the other end. “Jake…it makes me really sad when someone lies to me. You wouldn’t lie to me. Would you Jake?” Okay. So she was basically blackmailing a 6 year-old. “Dad made me promise not to tell. He said he’d make me wear a dress to the first day of school. And lipstick,” Jake whined. “Sheridan…” “Dad won’t make you do any of those things. I promise,” she said quickly. “Listen, Jake. Don’t say a word to Luis. I’ll be right there.”

“Mija?” Pilar questioned softly. Sheridan kissed Pilar’s cheek hurriedly. “He’s at Hank’s. Wait ‘til I see Hank. He owes me big time for letting me suffer like this all day.” “Poor Hank,” Martin chuckled as Sheridan’s car pulled out of the driveway. “Not poor Hank,” Pilar answered. “Poor Luis. He deserves every bit of it.” Martin smiled and pulled his wife into his arms. “Do you think we send Hank some sort of warning? Get Jake out of there? I’m sure it isn’t going to be pretty.” “Give Sheridan time to get there first,” Pilar sighed. “Are you hungry? I think I’ll go make dinner. Sheridan has too much to worry about already.” “Nana,” Ali’s sweet voice rang out. “Come see what I look like.” “This should be interesting,” Pilar laughed softly. “I’ll get the camera,” Martin offered. “Oh my…Ali…you’re beautiful,” Pilar smiled. Cupping Ali’s silky cheeks in the palms of her hands. “You look just like your mommy.” Ali blushed accordingly and threw her arms around her grandmother’s neck. “She really does, doesn’t she?” Theresa said in awe.

Sheridan slammed the car door behind her as she skidded to a stop in Hank’s driveway. Her and Luis’s old driveway. Hank grabbed Jake by the shoulders. “I’ll talk to YOU later,” Sheridan told him. “Wow! Dad!” Jake exclaimed in awe. “Sheridan’s pissed.” Hank’s brown eyes bugged out of his head. “I’m not even going to ask where you heard that one. I don’t ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again,” Hank warned. But he could hardly keep from laughing. They always talked about from the mouths of babes. But he bet they never meant anything like this. “Come on, Little Buddy. We need to beat it. Now,” he urged. Opening the passenger side of the SUV. “Buckle up. We want to be a safe distance away once WWIII starts.” Jake watched until his house disappeared behind him. Wondering if his house would still be standing when he and Dad got back.

Luis winced as the slam of the door reverberated in the cozy living room. “What the hell were you thinking?!?!” Her slim figure came into view, and his eyes traveled up her legs. All the way to her fury-filled blue eyes. “I never knew you were such a coward, Luis,” she growled. Crossing her arms about her chest. Luis felt anger rise inside him. But he said nothing. He deserved it. Every word she spat at him. He deserved it and then some. Maybe she’d realize he wasn’t worth the trouble. Not anymore. “Luis,” she sighed heavily. Dropping to her knees before him. Her blue eyes beseeching him to look at her. Listen to her. And really hear. “Cristian’s accident was just that. An accident. You’re no more at fault than Ali was. Why can’t you believe that? Just because…it wasn’t your fault, dammit,” she swore. Tears springing to her eyes. “You’ve had us worried sick, Luis,” she cried. “When I woke up…and you weren’t there…my heart stopped cold in my chest. I don’t ever won’t to feel that feeling again, Luis. Come home. Come home with me to Ali and Cristian. They miss you. I miss you.”

His jaw was set in stone. As much as her words appealed to him…he couldn’t. Wouldn’t give in. “I can’t,” he whispered harshly. “I won’t,” he said with more conviction. A whole lot more conviction than he felt. “W-W-What are you saying, Luis? This is silly. We love you,” she cried. Framing his face with her hands. “I love you,” she whispered. “Luis…I don’t care if God saw fit that you never walked again. I love you too much to live my life without you. Please come home,” she pleaded. “Please,” she begged. Teasing his lips open with her own. He could taste her tears on his lips, he thought with regret as he closed his eyes to her pain. Her sadness. “Please.” His hands gripped hers and pushed them away. Pushed HER away. He hardened his heart to the hurt in her blue eyes.

“Leave. Just leave. I’m not coming home with you, Sheridan.” “You don’t mean that,” she shook her head. More tears slipping down her cheeks. Endless tears. He had to do this. He couldn’t let her live her life like this. “What about Ali? Cristian? What about them, Luis? No. I’m not leaving.” “I’ll visit them,” he told her. He knew his words offered NO consolation. He was ripping her heart out, and he hated himself for it. “No,” she whispered in anguish. “You wouldn’t do that to them. To us. You wouldn’t.” “I can, and I will,” he said without looking at her. “They’ll understand. I still love them. I just won’t live with them anymore. Or you,” he finished calmly. “It’ll be hard at first, but they’ll grow to understand.” He took a deep breath. What he was about to say…was so awful…”Lots of kids grow up in divorced homes.” “D-D-D-ivorced homes?” she gasped. “Luis! Look at me! Stop trying to push me away ‘cause it isn’t going to work,” she cried desperately. “GET OUT SHERIDAN! NOW! JUST LEAVE!” he shouted. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Her heart broke into a million tiny pieces at his cruel tone. “You bastard,” she choked. Grabbing her purse and running blindly. Luis waited ‘til he was sure she was gone before he dared open his eyes. A single tear made its way down his unshaven cheek. “It worked,” he said bitterly.

Part Five