Ee-wan!
This is Ee-wan. He is very very pretty. Look at him.
Continue to look at him.
Now stop looking at him. I is going to speak.
STOPPIT!
I speak now. Hai.
The cunning ploy by Lucasfilm of casting the lovely Ee-wan to attract the hormones and the money of the female (and some of the male) audience in no way worked. Nope, it didn't produce millions of drooling websites like this one.
The key issue really is that the castage of Ee-wan has officially made Star Wars an integral part of Scottish culture, along with Trainspotting, Irn Bru and the national embarrassment that is Scottish football.
Ee-wan has acted in films such as Trainspotting, A Life Less Ordinary, Shallow Grave, Brassed Off and Little Voice. He has sort-of-acted in such delights as Velvet Goldmine and Nightwatch. Here is the vital info you all want, cos I am that perceptive and helpful:
FILMS IN WHICH EE-WAN IS NEKKID:
Shallow Grave - Legs
Trainspotting - Nekkid
A Life Less Ordinary - Technically Nekkid, but strategic camera angles prevail.
Nightwatch - Nekkid in the bath. That's what the pause button is for, ladies.
Velvet Groinmine - NEKKID. Lots.
The Pillow Book - Has clothes on at one point.
Le Menace Phantom - Fully Clothed Throughout.
The Serpent's Kiss - Nekkid once.
Brassed Off - Never Nekkid. T'would be impractical down t'pit.
Rogue Trader - JUST SAY NO.
(The occasional glimpse of various bits, but believe me, it's Not Worth It, Rogue Trader being the worstest movie ever made.)
Moulin Rouge - Judging by the plot/trailer, it's plausible...
Star Wars II and III - Unlikely to get nekkid at any point. But you never know. Is apparently wet-look in Ep2...
Pictures of the lovely Ee-wan
Ee-wan noises
Ee-wan Screensaver
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