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koshs.karaoke
By Chris Carter Kosh's Karaoke Machine May 23, 1995 Garibaldi, wearing
civvies, is followed closely by Ambassador Kosh and Lennier into Babylon
5's baseball park. They pause at a point roughly in between the pitcher's
mound and second base. Kosh stands facing the outfield while Garibaldi
plugs a microphone into Kosh's translator. While Garibaldi tests the mike
("testing testing, one two three four, sibilance, sibilance")
Lennier opens a case and withdraws the Fender Stratocaster which normally
occupies an honored position in B5's museum. Lennier slings the guitar on
his shoulder and plugs it into another jack in Kosh's translator. After
some difficulty adjusting the gain control on the translator to produce
the proper amount of feedback, Lennier indicates his readiness to
Garibaldi and Kosh. Kosh: "one, two, one two three four" Lennier
opens up with a familiar riff from a mid-to-late 20th century rock-n-roll
song. The translator starts to fill in the bass guitar and drum parts
automatically. Various orifices on Kosh's encounter suit sprout Varilights
(tm). Garibaldi: "Emperor Turhan was on his death bed Kosh showed up
and told him how it would end Turhan heard two words before he expired
B5's going up 'in fire'" All: [Chorus, primary vocals by Kosh and
Lennier, assorted vocal vamping by Garibaldi (not transcribed here)]
"B5's going up in fire" (repeat four times) Garibaldi: "The
Captain's wife, she went to Z'ha'dum She assumed room temp'rature in an
ancient tomb Morden's capture raised the Shadows' ire And B5's going up in
fire" All: [repeat chorus, as above] Kosh: "Move over Rover, let
Lennier take over..." [Incredible 32 bar guitar solo by Lennier.
Garibaldi momentarily stunned. Kosh moshes during solo.] Garibaldi:
"No use sittin' in the garden sphere Waitin' for any rain to appear
The bad guys have just one itchin' desire To see B5 go up in fire"
All: [repeat chorus, as above. Big concert ending.] Garibaldi and Lennier
put away their mike and guitar, as Kosh starts to move toward the exit. As
Kosh, with the others now in tow, reaches the exit, Captain Sheridan walks
in wearing sweats and carrying a baseball bat. Sheridan says (in a
slightly irate fashion) past Kosh to Garibaldi, "What the hell was
all that racket? I could hear it all the way from the lift." Before
Garibaldi can answer Kosh says, "A moment of perfect beauty,"
and proceeds out of the ballpark. Garibaldi and Lennier follow silently,
with cheesy grins on their faces. Sheridan, looking perplexed, asks the
computer to initiate batting practice. Back
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