Alarmingly Strange Stories
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"I know what you meant. It's just that they're doing such wonderful things with genetics nowadays, I mean, you never know." "What," began Mr. Nathan again, "do you like to do?" I supposed, depending on what I say, Mr. Nathan would suggest some possible career options. "Well, I like to win. I like to be better than everybody else." "But what do you like to win at?" "Anything, I guess." "Do you have any hobbies?" "Antiques." I don't think I'll ever know where I was going, or what I was going to say, but now I'm forever stuck with "Antiques". I guess I blanked, and couldn't think of anything to say. Or maybe its because I don't actually have any hobbies and I was covering up. Maybe saying random words is my hobby, because I know it isn't antiques. Although, that isn't a very viable hobby, but, I don't know. I was once told that static electricity is pretty cool. Told very enthusiastically, in fact. I think that if you are the type of person who is very excited by static electricity, as this person obviously was, you could chose a better way to describe your feelings towards static. Something like: "I am very excited by static electricity, as you can probably tell." or, "Static electricity is greatly appreciated by me, as is duly appreciated the passive voice". Of course, I'm not an expert. I could be wrong. If you know me, you know that I have a very short temper. I don't think that's a big surprise. Negotiations with me can be very heated if they're not swinging my way. I'll yell at anyone, sarcasm included amply. I would make a horrible police negotiator. I don't know, I'm just not any good at making conversation, especially with strangers. "I'm bored", I say. "I'll give you something to do", says whoever is near me, brandishing a broom. "Well, not that bored", I shy away from the bristled spear. "Why don't you go write a book?", asks the last person I want telling me what to do. Here I am, though. Writing. I'm bored. Bored, frustrated with life. Bored because nothing happens. Frustrated because everything happens to me, not for me. Bored with cliches. Frustrated because I have to use them, because they fit so well. Somebody once told me to find the silver lining in each cloud. Then melt it down and hide it in your basement, so nobody else can take it. I guess in this case, I could say' "you have to be alive to be bored with life". I'll bet death is pretty boring. No parties, no friends, nothing. Then again, you can't contemplate death the same way a book club can "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest". Dead people can't be expected to recognize McMurphy's impact on all the men in the ward, and even Nurse Ratched, and especially Chief Bromden.Someone once told me that McMurphy represents Jesus, the fisher of men. I didn't want to believe him, but I could see it myself. I don't want to believe that I'll die someday, but I've seen it before.

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