Disclaimer: I bought them over the weekend, so now you have to say that they belong to me. ALL MINE!!!!! Humph. Yeah, right.
Warning: Do not try eating vampires, whether they look like Skittles or not.
My apologies to Highlander: the Series for my dreadful pondering of the misquote: "Live. Grow Stronger. Fight another day." ... or something to that effect...
Author's note: Okay, I realize that I've under-abused the clones and the baddies so far, because we really get to see more of them in the real series, but it's harder for me to write evil lines without getting rid of the suspense. Okay, on with the story.
Website: The Scribs: Home of the Insane Fanfiction Writer Cassima
"Sometimes, between the four of us, I don't think we have the brains God gave a doorknob."
--Winston, "Haunting of Heck House", The Real Ghostbusters
"Okay, I want to know what's wrong and I want you to tell me now."
Scully answered back after a short pause. "I'm fine, Mulder."
"Bullshit!" he returned rapidly. "That's BS, and you know it!"
"I don't have to answer to you, Mulder!" she barked out. "You're not my keeper!"
"No, that's right, I'm only your partner and your friend. You don't owe me the least bit of respect at all."
Scully wiped at her nose uneasily. "Mulder... what if I told you, Mulder, that I'd met one of the Sailor Senshi?"
"I'd say, 'WHAT? When?'" he demanded.
"And, hypothetically, I knew we were in over our heads. Yes, Mulder," she answered his challenging look, "even yours."
"And, hypothetically, are you telling me this?"
"Yes, Mulder, you're getting a big hypothetical warning."
"So, what does this mean?"
"Well, hypothetically--"
"Scully, stop," he interrupted. "I've broken your clever code."
She smiled a little.
"Maybe it's time for you to start driving that clue bus towards me, eh, partner?"
Scully sipped her coffee absently. "I've been having these dreams, Mulder, and last night, I met someone from them."
"The man of your dreams, eh, Scully?" Mulder leered.
She shot him an exasperated look before continuing. "He had been in a terrible fight... Mulder, he was almost dead! Then, all of the sudden, poof, he's fine. And then Sailor Mars is there, and then..." She shook her head. "Maybe I dreamed it all."
"That's one hell of a dream." Mulder sat back and wondered what he should do.
"The temple priestess, Rei Hino, is Sailor Mars," Scully added, almost as an afterthought.
"Maybe we should just ask her who the others are," Mulder suggested with a wink.
"Or, we could just ask Lun@."
"She was there, too?"
"She starred in my little nightmare." The FBI agent stared deeply into her cup of joe. "There's something strange about her and her friends. I can't quite place it."
"Maybe they're Sailor Senshi, too."
Scully stared at him for a moment before bursting out into laughter at the thought of the prissy British librarian dressed up in a tight bodysuit and heels. "Mulder..." she gasped, "Mulder..."
He shot his partner a humored glance. "C'mon, Scully; where's your sense of adventure?"
This would be the perfect time, she thought suddenly, to tell him about my dreams and my c--illness. She opened her mouth to speak, but, uncharacteristically, words failed her, and she realized that she couldn't. Not now, she soothed herself, but soon.
Lun@ looked one way, then the other. Everybody should be out, doing... tourist-y things, leaving her all alone. The temple priestess was sick of her, and had ever so kindly told her so, so Rei wouldn't be interrupting...
Reaching under her pillow, she gently drew out the small object that she had found clutched in her very own hand. Unlike before, however, she paused to decipher from whence it came.
And, maybe, how to put it back.
It was small, really; it fit neatly in the palm of her hand, and the smooth, warm material that it was made of soothed her heart, still heavy from last night. The mysterious object was simple in design and non-descript in color; it's silver-y, grayish color left it looking rather as if it were lacking something.
"Okay," she told herself resolutely, "let's discuss this rationally. Fact: when Mamoru and I locked hands last night, I felt power. Fact: when I woke up, it was in my hand. Fact: Scully and Buffy were the only ones to deal with me while I was visiting Lala Land. Fact: neither of them know--neither of them admit to knowing anything about it. Fact: I don't know squat about it. Fact: I'm so... confused..." She held up the hand not clutching the object and buried her face in it, clutching her eyes shut. "Stupid... hormones..." she whispered, allowing her newly-found mortality to be the scapegoat for her hormones. "M-messin' me up..."
The small gray rod in her hand, no longer than a pencil, pulsed gently in her oblivious grasp as she struggled not to cry.
"Very good, Buffy. You've shown a great deal of improvement in the last couple days." Giles absently cleaned his glasses on his shirt. "Your technique has already improved."
"Giles, I'm doing basics," Buffy growled, hitting at the tree with a vengeance she'd like to demonstrate on her absent instructor. "Where is the little spore right now?"
"In the room, I think. Buffy, don't you think you're acting a little... strange about this whole Sailor Senshi thing?"
"Giles," the short blonde replied, frustrated, "last night there was one of these very dead warriors in the temple, and I find out that they aren't so dead because the nice temple priestess who's been letting us stay at her temple is one of these people and she's trying to kill my guardian angel!"
Giles blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what his pupil said. "I... I see..." He cleared his throat, a clear signal of his bewilderment. "Well... ah... I'm sure the Sailor Senshi don't really want to kill Lun@. Didn't you say they were speaking quite civilly this morning?"
"Well, they were, but why hasn't Lun@ come back yet??" Buffy whirled around and began delivering blows to the trunk of the hapless tree in furious succession. "She SAYS she's my guardian, but when does she ever guard me? Hell, no, all she does is sit there on her rump and make unHELPful, unWANTed comments, when all I want to do is..." Buffy sighed. "I just want to be left alone sometimes."
"Buffy..." Giles started gently.
"I know, I know, Slayer, chosen one, sacred duty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Kill baddies, champion the universe, don't break any nails. Y'know, sometimes being a hero really bites. There's no Me Time. I want some time filled with ME." She smiled, a little embarrassed. "That just sounded really stuck up, didn't it?"
"Less yap, more thwap. I want to be a little more entertained by your knuckles screaming for mercy." Lun@ smiled a little, softening her harsh words. "C'mon. Ten more minutes of Mr. Tree until lunch."
"After lunch?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"Well," Lun@ winked, "if you're good, maybe we can spar a little. Some womano-a-womano."
"It's pathetic how good that sounds," Buffy muttered, delivering a round of punches and kicks at the target on the tree.
"More from the hip, less from the shoulder," was Lun@'s only comment. "You're relying on your muscles rather than your momentum for power."
Buffy just rolled her eyes.
"You know, sometimes life just isn't fair," Buffy continued her tirade.
Willow made a noise of appreciation.
"I mean, here I am, almost half-way across the world, and I'm fighting the forces of evil. And, then there's the vamps..."
"Hey, y'know, at least your boyfriend's all ready here," Willow grumbled. "I have to wait 'till tomorrow for Oz to fly over." She kicked a rock. "I can't believe he had to play another couple gigs with his band! It just sucks!"
Buffy heard a noise rustling behind them. "Speaking of things that suck..." She eagerly pulled out a stake.
A purple vampire with blue fur lightly covering its body burst out from behind them. "ArrGGGGGGGG!"
Buffy and Willow blinked. "Well, here's something you don't see everyday."
"It's actually really sad, in a funny sort of way."
Lunging for the mutant vamp, Buffy drove the spike through its heart with little trouble. "I have to admit, that was mostly pity."
"I guess it's a good thing that he couldn't see his reflection. Poor thing would've had no self esteem."
The Slayer turned back to her best friend. "But, anyway, Will, what should I do about Lun@? She's driving me postal!"
The red head sighed. "Oh, Buffy, don't you think you're over-reacting just a tad? I mean, sure, she can be a little heartless at times, but she's only--" She stopped at the look on Buffy's face.
"Will? Best friend? Whose side are you on?"
"Yours, of course!" the other girl stuttered. "I was just saying..." She fell silent at the noise behind them. Buffy apprehensively pulled out her trusty stake.
Lun@ burst in, eyes wide. "Buffy - there's - a - vampire - following - me, - except - he's - not - really - a - vampire - he's - more - of - a - big - hairy - ape - from - a - skittles - commercial - and - he's - not - dying - when - I - stake - him - and - here - he - comes - so - I'm - going - to - go - now--bye!" She raced off in a panic.
Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance. "A big, hairy ape from a Skittles commercial?"
"You understood that?"
Suddenly, a large, brightly-colored monster charged out of the bushes, made a strangled noise, and trudged in the direction that Lun@ had gone, making wheezing noises as he walked.
Buffy and Willow blinked and exchanged another glance.
"And the plot thickens."
THINK, DAMN YOU!!! Lun@ panted heavily from behind her tree as she waited for the Giant Walking Skittle to find her. You KNOW you have brains!! USE THEM!!!
Unfortunately, for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what to do.
Obviously, there was some connection she was missing. Maybe runes...
She squished that thought under her thumb quickly. If I don't try, I can't see how bad I am at it. Maybe if I just ignore it, it'll fix itself. Oh, yeah, right, Diab. If you believe that, better start lookin' for that bridge for sale... She fiddled nervously with the edge of her sleeve. I can't just leave it here to terrorize Toky--
"Hold it right there!"
Lun@ made a noise that resembled "eep!" as her heart jumped smack-dab into the middle of her throat and took up residence there.
"I am the Sailor Soldier of Love and Justice, Eternal Sailor Moon! On behalf of the Moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you!" The gorgeous blonde descended from the tree branch and landed heavily on the ground.
The Skittle made a gurgling noise and threw itself at her.
Eternal Sailor Moon ducked and dodged the attack like an expert, making noises like one who'd never done this before. "Hah! Take this, Ugly-head!! Although," she began introspectively, "you do look a bit like candy..."
Skittle made a pained noise.
"Eternal Sailor Moon, kill it!" Lun@ exclaimed, worried that the girl might try something strange--like eating it.
"Of course!" She pulled out her scepter for the attack. "STARLIGHT HONEYMOON THERAPY... KISS!" The magic streamed out of the plastic- looking wand in purple rays, bathing Skittle in a radioactive light.
It moaned something in its own grotesque language, but seemed otherwise unaffected.
Eternal Sailor Moon gasped.
Lun@ groaned. Looks like leaving the task up to her is not an option... Pulling on her mysterious black robe, she prepared to join the wingéd female. "Where are all your helpful friends?" she grumbled.
"Where are yours?" the other shot back.
"A good question," Lun@ agreed, chancing a look around her as Eternal Sailor Moon distracted the enemy by just barely dodging his attacks in what appeared to be uncomfortable manners. Lun@ spared the warrior a wince, "to which I have no answer." She began her own dodging, but paused to kick it in the head.
Yet again, it made but a strangled, pleading reply. "Please kill me," it seemed to beg.
Eternal Sailor Moon began to power up her attack again, but Skittle reached out and knocked the scepter out of her hand, a bit of a ways away.
This was not good.
"It's looking pretty tight for our heroes," Lun@ quipped as she racked her brain for a rune to throw.
Unfortunately, none came to her.
She tightened her fist before she realized there was something in it: that stupid gray pencil-thing again. Growling, she dove under a slash aimed at her mid-section and found herself suddenly next to Eternal Sailor Moon's discarded rod. Snatching it up, she noticed a strange sensation:
The two objects seemed to be pulling towards each other.
Bloody odd, that's what it was. Now that she noticed it, it was even stronger than before. "Uh..." The attraction peaked suddenly, and the two objects snapped together before the magnetism was lost. I hope I didn't just break her weapon... "Eternal Sailor Moon! Catch!" She heaved the wand over the head of the Skittle to where the Senshi of the Moon awkwardly caught it.
The Senshi took a deep breath and paused.
It seemed to Lun@ to be a very odd moment in time, as if something was happening, but only Eternal Sailor Moon was aware of what it was.
And then she began her attack: "ETERNAL SUNSHINE THERAPY IMPACT!!" she cried, and the formerly purple rays turned to a bright white, like the blinding light of the sun, and Lun@ was forced to turn her face as the creature exploded with a freedom-letting moan.
The sound of applause brought Lun@ and Eternal Sailor Moon from their shocked state as Buffy and Willow and a couple of the other brightly-colored senshi voiced their approval. "Not too shabby," Buffy praised, and staked a vampire.
From across the street, two people exchanged a credulous glance. "I've seen it, but I'm still not quite sure if I believe it," one of them said to the other.
"What's it mean, Mulder?"
"Our case just got a hell of a lot more interesting."
The group stared at each other from opposite sides of the room.
"The Slayer, eh?"
"The Sailor Senshi, eh?"
The silence was painfully tangible.
"This is ridiculous." Lun@'s disdainful voice carried to the far reaches of the room, and suddenly she had everyone's attention. "Okay, let's just make a few things relatively opaque before we just dive on in for our goodly fun. First of all, nobody here is contagious. Segregation is an unnecessary precaution. Second of all, Mulder, Scully, stop listening at the door and just come on it. This'll probably concern you, too. It usually does. Third of all, let me just start off the group revelations by--" she shrunk into dog form and moved over to where some of the senshi were and flopped down with a doggie sigh.
Mulder and Scully opened the door cautiously, a little embarrassed at being caught, as Rei jumped up, smoke shooting from her ears.
"YOU! YOU'RE THAT DAMN DOG!!!" Her face was fire-truck red.
Lun@ made a doggie snort as Re's friends and Dander giggled.
"Calm down, Rei," the blue haired one smiled at her pissed friend. "There's no need to get homicidal."
"She almost bit me!"
"You were trying to magic me!" Buffy cried, jumping up.
Her hunky boyfriend came forward from the shadows and placed a restraining hand on her shoulder. His warning, "Buffy," was soft and comforting.
Rei frowned. That evil presence was growing closer again... and it was coming from--
"Akuryo Taisan!"
Lun@ was up and flying towards it before the temple priestess even finished the chant. Realizing at the last second that she had misjudged the distance and couldn't catch it in her mouth, she barked.
Buffy came to the same conclusion at the same time and, being a woman of action, knocked the out of the way with a sweep of her hand. Unfortunately, the charm's new trajectory was in a collision course with Lun@.
The small gray dog emitted a little yelp as she twisted her body to avoid the powerful charm, misjudged, and fell to the floor, hard, caught up in the power of the charm.
"Diab!" Angel cried, picking up the tiny gray dog and cradling it away from Rei. Looking up, he growled, "What are you doing?!"
The tiny body began to convulse, and everyone looked on worriedly as Lun@'s breathing became ragged.
"He's a vampire!" Rei shouted, pointing at Angel. The rest of the senshi gasped and stood, ready for battle if need be.
"If he's a vampire, you can't be the Slayer!" Makoto challenged, fists raised.
"That's right!" Minako chimed in. "What did you do with the Vampire Slayer?"
Angel growled and tightened his grip on her, looking for a person he could toss Lun@ to if he had to fight. Preferably, someone who could catch her. Why, in situations like this, Xander the only person I can easily find?!
Ami already had her mini supercomputer out, analyzing the man. "He's undead, all right--but there's a powerful binding spell on him."
Angel looked away. "I used to kill a lot of people... until I was cursed by Gypsies." He began to relive a few quick, especially painful moments of his past.
"I don't understand." Usagi smiled at him sadly, forgiving. "Please explain."
Giles removed his glasses and began to polish them. "When a person is made into a vampire, they lose their soul--the ability to feel remorse, or to distinguish between good and evil. They live for fun, and killing is a great part of that."
"So what you're saying is that..."
"One day," Angel began, cradling his old friend a little, "I killed the wrong girl. A gypsy. Dumb as a post. To get even with me, the gypsies returned my soul."
"He bats for our team now," Xander over-simplified.
"Do you... do you realize... what... what you could have... have done?" Lun@ croaked out between gasps. "That curse has... has gone... who knows where... You could have rid him of his... soul... or sent him to... to Hell."
Rei was pale. "I'm sorry!"
"You should... shouldn't mess with what... what you don't... understand..." She coughed, weakly. "You make those charms really... well..."
"A vampire?" Mulder looked between the two factions and raised his eyebrows. "Is that the kind that turns into bats, or just needs the blood, or the kind that's just a demon?"
"None," muttered Angel, and his face contorted into his Vampire One. "The kind that nightmares are made of."
Setting Lun@ down on a pillow, they sat down and began to trade information.
Ami frowned. Something was wrong with that Girl-Dog.
"Lun@?" she asked. "Are you all right?"
"Fine..." the small, gray dog murmured. "I'm just..." she choked a little on her words and coughed a little more. "I... she makes those charms really well..."
The frown deepened. "It's been hours since you were hit. The effects usually wear off after a half-hour... max."
Lun@ gave a little doggie-shrug and wheezed.
Ami took out her mini-supercomputer and her Mercury visor. "Do you mind if I scan you...?"
"... Go ahead." Lun@ coughed a little. "Do I... have to move?"
Ami adjusted her visor and began tapping away at her computer. "No, you're fine. This should only take a second."
When the results flickered onto the screen a few seconds later, Ami's frown did not turn upside down.
"What is it, Lady Mercury?" Lun@ cocked her head and blinked her eyes languidly.
"Ami," the girl corrected. "Call me Ami."
Lun@ shrugged--well, she did the best she could as a dog. "Okay, Ami... What is it?"
"Well... it looks as if you... are you... This is going to sound strange, but are you going through some sort of... conversion right now?"
"Well... I used to be undead..."
Ami gave her a sharp look of disbelief.
"I got better..." Lun@ added weakly. "I don't know, I just... stopped... being... dead." She coughed a couple times.
"Well," Ami removed her visor and absorbed the information, "it looks like your body was still going through the conversion, and Rei's charm just disrupted things for a moment." She closed the calculator- like computer with a click and patted the dog on the head. "Have you been having hormonal problems lately?"
"Uh..." If it had been possible, Lun@ would have blushed.
"Your body's just over-compensating," Ami reassured. "If you're still having problems in a few weeks, you should see a doctor."
"Yeah, okay. If I'm not too busy. You recommend anyone?"
"My mother's a doctor..."
"That's cool. Is that what you want to be?"
For a small moment, Ami's eyes lost their ever-present melancholy and glowed with passion. "Oh, yes. I'm going to be the best doctor around!"
From across the room, Mamoru overheard this comment and gave the blue-haired girl a little wink.
Ami blushed.
Lun@ stood slowly. "My poor, aching bones..." she mumbled in a creaky voice. "I should get a Senior Citizen's discount." Shaking off the creaks of her "old age", she trotted out the door, away from the temple, to stand on big hill and watch the moon.
"Things are building," she whispered quietly to the foliage around her. "I can't... I'm not sure that I'll be able to keep up with them for long. The Sailor Senshi.. they've got the right idea with this secret identity thing..." she chuckled. "I wish we'd thought of that." Shifting lightly into her human body, she began to absently toy with her cross, the only remnant left from her Diabolique days. "Well, as they say on The Highlander..." she frowned, unable to remember the quote. "'Something... something... Live to fight another day.' Eat/Sleep? Learn/Grow? Love/Hate? Did I even get that last part right? Crap..."
The vampire watched her from the shadows, a maniac little grin on his contorted face. "Oh, my pretty..." He cackled a little. "The Bosses are just gonna love this!"
"Scully, can I ask you a question?"
The red head looked at her partner. Hell, why not? Let's just humor him. "Shoot."
"... Are you okay?" Mulder ran an uneasy hand through his hair and looked down from the sky to look her right in the eye.
"Mulder, I'm--"
"Fine?" He grinned sardonically.
"...Not exactly," she said, guilty. "Mulder..."
He handed her a tissue as something hard began to form a tight curl in the pit of his stomach. "It's back, isn't it?" he told her, grin melting into something more sinister. "You've been hiding it."
"Mulder, it's not your fault." She turned to look back at the moon, finding this conversation all she'd dreaded and more.
"Don't tell me that--"
"Why, so you can become a martyr to your own cause? So you can get twisted up in your own emotions and block me out again?"
"So, when were you going to tell me?" he asked as she blotted at the blood coming from her nose. His eyes were hard, and it was a hard struggle to beat his temper.
"Soon."
There was a pause as they both struggled for words.
"This is my last case," Scully finally blurted out.
It was the wrong thing to say.
"How long?"
Another pause.
"The doctors estimate... two months."
"But, Scully..." Mulder swallowed, trying to hide his tears, "your cancer was gone..."
"Dammit, Mulder," Scully spit out tensely, "'Remission' isn't the same as 'cured', and you know it! ...I'm sorry." Her tone softened. "I didn't mean to snap..." Her own eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry..."
And Mulder looked through his tear-blurred eyes at the thin woman before him and realized that, as usual, he should have guessed. I should have known! I should have...
His line of thought changed. I should... I should...
The moonlight cascaded gently down onto the still forms of two grieving adults wrapped in each other's strength-giving embrace.
Lun@ turned and slunk away from view, feeling like an intruder. "They're so close to comfort... so close, and yet, so far..."
