Car Descriptions and Definitions

Visit this site for some Great Nascar Merchandise!

Car Companies and their Meanings ACURA
Awfully Crappy UnReliable Auto
Auto Causes Universal Road Accidents
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Any Child Understands Real Auto's
Another Case (of a) Useless Requested Acronym
A Car Under Recall Action
Americans Can Understand Routine Accidents
AMC
Ain't My Car
all mechanics companion
always madecrappy
*always money consuming
another miserable concept
*after my cash
All Most a Car
Compliments of Bruce A. Freeman

Audi
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Design Implementations

BMW
Big Money Works
Brutal Money Waster
Big Man Wannabe

Buick
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

Chevrolet
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Can Hear Every Valve Rapping Over Lousy Engine Timing
Compliments of Kristi Coggsie

Dodge
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Don't Only Drive, Get Even!
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Compliments of John Newall
Don't Open Door, Garbage Enclosed
Compliments of John Newall

Dammed Old Decrepid German Engine
Compliments of Bruce A. Freeman
Dem Ol' Dudes Go Everywhere
Compliments of Kristi Coggsie

Fiat
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Freaky Italian-Assed Trash
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportaion
Compliments of John Newall
Fix It Again, Tony
Compliments of John Newall

FORD
First On Race Day
backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found One Running, Drive!
Found On Road, Dead
Flipped Over Rebuilt Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Russian Dump
First Out Race Day
Compliments of John Newall
Flip Over, Read Directions
Compliments of John Newall
F***ing Owner Real Dumb
Compliments of John Newall
F**ked On Recent Deal
Compliments of Chris (OwnADobe)
Fu**kin Old Recycled Dodge
Compliments of Chris (OwnADobe)
F**ked Outta Real Driving
Compliments of Steve Gause
For Others Racing Dale Compliments of Tom Long
Flat Out Runnning Dude Compliments of Pat Myers
F***king Old, Runs Dammit Compliments of Doc Philli
Fuckin' Oakies Really Dig'um
Compliments of Dan Demeo

GM
General Malfunction
General Maintenance
Generous Motors
Gotta Mechanic???
Generic Motors
Compliments of Bruce A. Freeman

GMC
Gotta Mechanic Coming
Garage Man's Companion
Got a Mechanic Coming?
God Made Chevy
Good Mountain Climber
General Mess of Crud
Got My Chevy
Compliments of Steve Gause
Gay Man's Car
Compliments of Alisa

Honda
Have One, Never Drive Another
Had One, Never Did Again
How Orientals Negate Driving Ability
High On Narcotics During Assembly
Compliments of Dan Demeo

Hyundai
Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

IROC
Italian Retard Out Cruising
Compliments of Paul

I Reak Of Cologner
Compliments of Paul

MOPAR
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Compliments of Bruce A. Freeman
My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin'
Compliments of Paddy Francis Wall

Oldsmobile
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PONTIAC
Poor Old Nitwhit Thinks It's A Cadillac
Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac

Saab
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

Sad Attempt At Beauty Compliments of Rand Peart

Toyota
To Often Yankees Overprice This Automobile

Volvo
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW - Virtually Worthless

Cars and who drive them

Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Dodge Ram.- Former Civic owner going to get even with all the people who cut him off.
Ford Escort - I love Jeff Gordon and Bone Thugs & Harmony
Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead in a mini van
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph an change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
Mercedes 300SL - pretender (no one wants my autograph)
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB - I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife


I am just starting on this and I need your ideas and comments. Send them in!!!! I got some of these from Newsgroup postings and some are my own.

**Where Would You Like to Go Now?**
LINKS	Clean Jokes	Dirty Jokes	You know you are a Nascar Fan if...
Nascar Fun Pics... Edited Pics	How to Slow the Ford Taurus Down For you Chevy Fans	Home Page

Tell Me how you like the page, Email me at drfunkenstein@mad.scientist.com or Sign My Guestbook .