You can't balance your checkbook, but CAN explain the point system.

You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just an attempt to get fuel into the pickup.

You teach your child to count like this... Park, Wallace, Earnhardt, Hamilton,Terry Labonte, Martin, etc. and then it confuses him because of the driver changes every year

When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel.
The second thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.

Every time you rotate your tires at home you put the stop watch to it and record the time and try to better it next time.

You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!

If you were Rusty you would have just gone when the other light turned yellow!

You know you're a Rusty Wallace fan if you go on green and cop pulls you over for going too soon on the green.

You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.

On an Interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPMs up.

You try the left foot braking method and kiss the windshield.

You draft with a Fox Photo delivery car because "that Kodak car is stout."

You get away from a Lowe's delivery truck as quickly as possible.

You make sure to stay under 55 as you leave the gas pumps.

You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"

You name your first born Richard Trickle (insert last name here).

You paint a large 3 on the side of your 74 camaro.

You respond to motor noises.

You watch tapes of old rain delays.

You plan family vacations around a race date.

You have a poster of Benny Parsons above your bed.

When you pass someone on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.

You pull into the gas station behind someone else just to see if you can beat them out. requires the wife to clean the windshield & son to check the tires).

You take your 4yr old son with you because you need a spotter.

You know what "The Cale Scale" is....

You know what a "whopper" of an engine is.... you remember the only time a "winner" was black flagged, and couldn't sit still for days because you were so ticked....

You count the cars you pass going to work as positions gained and when they pass you, positions lost.

You sign up for flu shots (at work) on Friday so you can fake sick in order to get home in time to see qualifying.

After riding behind the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOoooo long, you decide to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency lane (after looking, of course)

Your buddy is passing someone on the interstate, you're in the passenger seat yelling,"CAR HIGH !!!.....CLEAR!!

Only the driver's side of your windshield gets cleaned.

You can get 12 cans of pop. 4 quarts of Gatorade, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash anything.

You think nothing of getting up at 4am, driving for 5 hours, sitting in a traffic backup for 3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot, driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5 am, going to work on 3 hours sleep, and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had.

You line your diecasts up in the same order as the starting grid each week.

You rearrange your diecasts to match the grid during cautions

You have a mini winners circle for your diecasts

You get caught stealing the lifesize cut out of your favorite driver from Food Lion.

You put together an extra 1/32 scale Revell Snaptite to have a backup in the 1/32 rig you have.

You drive up close behind somebody in hopes you can "get him loose" in order to be able to pass him.

Your mechanic has to remind you to stop referring to him as "your crew chief"

Every time you hop out at the gas station, you yell to your wife to time you.

You have ever told your body shop guy "just pull the fender out with your hands" because you want to get back out there and trade some more paint.

Your wife has to keep telling you it's "your damn driveway, not victory circle".

You find yourself having a tough time explaining to the patrol officer why you fell asleep and hit the wall during heavy traffic. (Sorry Dale, it was too good to pass up)

You install an ignition kill switch in the center of the dash in your Geo Metro.

You refer to the family station wagon as the "team hauler" (or "war wagon").

You blow a flat on the highway and get mad because it took you more than 19 seconds to change it.

The big story at your parties is how you put Jeff Gordon (or other name here) into the wall at Talladega in your Nascar Racing 2 game.

You have AAA "TripTiks" that show how to get to all of the tracks, but you've never been to a race.

You hit the car in front of you, and tell the police officer "Rubbin' is racin'!"

You think the first car at a stoplight is "on the pole."

You have to eat macaroni and cheese for a month because you bought too much memorabilia at the track.

You've ever seriously considered putting an "onboard camera" in your car.

At a stop light with two lanes each direction, you pull into the left lane because you 'qualified faster' than the guys on the right.

You have planned out a route to work where you only have to turn left.

The wife asks how your day was and you start by saying, "Well, I had a real good car today..."

You go on long trips with a buddy driving another car. You drive right on his rear bumper "drafting" to the front.

You consider slower cars in the left lane as "lapped traffic".

You peel out of gas stations loudly and try to beat your buddy to the on ramp to get "the preferred line".

Traffic slows or stacks up, you wave your right hand from side to side, signaling to your buddy that there is trouble ahead.

Before traffic begins to resume regular speed again, you find yourself weaving side to side warming up the tires to optimum tempature.

At gas station stop #2 you actually let a half pound of air out of the tires to fix that "push" you picked up after the 1st stop.

When a car comes flying up from behind, you speed up trying to stay "on the lead lap". If he passes you, you try to pass him back to "get your lap back".

At gas station stop #3 you "block" your buddy in his "pit stall" preventing him from beating you out of the pits.

Even though you are not religious, you start thinking about being reincarnated as a NASCAR driver *if* you come back after you die.

You can't wait for next year to see what Soap powder your favorite driver has as a sponsor because the one he's got now keeps giving you a rash.

You drive for 2 hours out to the closest official Valvoline Quik Lube.

When you see another vehicle with Nascar stickers on it, You feel it is your duty to show them how fast a "Earnhardt Fan" can take that curve.

While explaining to the officer while your car is smashed into the interstate ramp's guardrail, you explain: Well, the First National Bank / Smith family Chevy was really running great today. That blue Ford got in behind me, loosened me up, I drifted high and the next thing I knew, I was in the wall, but....I don't blame the other driver, heck, what can I say, that's racing!!
Compliments of Bob Ingram

You have ever had an arguement with your wife because you told her to get the 2 Richard Petty Car Wisk Packages and she came home with two of the same one and refuses to go back and get the other one.
Compliments of personal experience

You have ever actually yelled 'YOU KISS MY ASS' out the window of your car when you see a car with a '24' license plate.
Compliments of personal experience

You've ever pushed little kids onto the ground at Toys-R-Us to get to the Racing Champions cars first.
Compliments of Larry Murdock

You drink Miller Lite, get your car serviced with GM Goodwrench Service Plus, use Kodak Film in your camera, eat Kellogg's Corn Flakes, use Valvoline In your car, buy a Philips TV from Circuit City and spend all your time watching Cartoon Network (which you get from Primestar), wash your clothes with Tide, have a loan from First Plus Financial to pay off your MBNA Visa card, use Interstate Batteries & Citgo fuel in your car, smoke Winston Cigarettes, paint your house with DuPont, shop for your home at Lowe's and Heilig-Meyers, eat Skittles, use Tabasco on your Winn-Dixie steaks, have Bellsouth as your phone company, collect Hot Wheels cars, have a shotgun from Remington, have a John Deere rider-mower, only eat Thorn Apple Valley Premium Meats, and when you run out of Thorn Apple Valley Premium Meats, you go to McDonald's.
Compliments of Larry Murdock

When you total your car and tell the cop "it was just one of them deals".
Compliments of Ronnie Hiatt

You've ever stood outside for over an hour in the freezing cold waiting for a table at the Denny's at Dover because you can't stand being away from the track.
Compliments of a personal experience from Larry Murdock

You have ever thrown your voice out screaming at the TV because some racer just wrecked your driver on the final lap to take the win.(Any Rusty Fans Out there? Say "Woah!" "Hey!", yeah you know me!)

If it take the judge longer to settle custody of the diecast collection than the kids.
Compliments of Amy Grant

You know you are a NASCAR fan if the way your father remembers your birthday is that it's during Speedweeks.
Compliments of the personal experience of Amy Buttram

If someone asks the time at church and you answer an hour and a half till race time.
Compliments of Beth Myers

If someone asks the time on Saturday evening and you answer 2 beers till the race starts..
Compliments of Beth Myers

If you just cussed out a Home Depot manager for no reason except your repressed rage over a certain guy in a orange car just wrecked your favorite driver by trying to race like it was the last lap when it's only lap 6.


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