How to Slow the Ford Taurus Down So The Non-Gordon Drivers can compete.
Note... I have added a Top Ten to this. I picked my Personal Top Ten from the list below and here they are :
1 Put Earnhardt in One Compliments of Jack Morgan 2 Ford drivers must 'Tongue-Kiss' Dave Marcis after each win. 3 Fords are to replace engines with Flintstone type propulsion. However, drivers may wear shoes. Compliments of MY WIFE DEBBIE 4 All Ford drivers must undergo a years training at the 'Robert Pressley School of Driving'. 5 New Ford Racing Car Template "The Pinto" 6 Fords must pull Trailers. Not Car Trailers. Each Week a lucky fan gets his Mobile Home pulled around the speedway by his favorite Ford Driver. "Go Rusty!! And Bob's 14X70!!" 7 Sell all Fords to Felix Sebates Compliments of Jack Morgan 8 Make them Chevys drive like them cars in "Days of Thunder" 9 All Fords are to be painted black with big 3's on the side Compliments of Greg Royce 10 Paint "Darrell Waltrip" On the roof of every Taurus Compliments of Larry Murdock
The Original List in order of submission
1 Only running on 3 wheels
2 V6 Engines
3 Ford Drivers must get out and change their own tires and pump their own Gas
4 New Ford Racing Car Template "The Pinto"
5 All Ford drivers must undergo a years training at the 'Robert Pressley School of Driving'.
6 One gear ---- Reverse
7 Ford Drivers have a two drink minimum
8 Chevys get a 3 lap head start
9 3 gallon gas tanks
10 No Spoiler
11 On last lap, Fords have to get out and Pull their car across the finish line
12 Ford Drivers must get out after first pit stop and allow their grandmothers to drive the next 50 laps.
13 Cars qualify in order of Manufacturers --- alphabetically
14 Put Earnhardt in One Compliments of Jack Morgan
15 Ford drivers must 'Tongue-Kiss' Dave Marcis after each win.
16 Put Gordon in Every Ford, he cant win as easily while administering blowjobs under the dash. Compliments of Jack Morgan
17 Sell all Fords to Felix Sebates Compliments of Jack Morgan
18 Replace all Ford Drivers with Expert Nascar 2 Computer game Drivers
19 Ford drivers must drive with their teeth instead of the way the normally steer.... with their penis. Compliments of Jack Morgan
20 Make them Chevys drive like them cars in "Days of Thunder"
21 Change the nameplate on the Taurus to 'Grand Prix' Compliments of Jack Morgan
22 The Kenny Irwin 'Get the one of the best Cars in Nascar and Not get it up to speed' School of Driving. Compliments of Jack Morgan
23 Every time they pit they have a mandatory carb change Compliments of Jack Morgan
24 Ken Squier as the new Head of Racing Products Compliments of Jack Morgan
25 Earnhardt takes over Gary Nelsons job Compliments of Jack Morgan
26 Chevy cars allowed 2 Regulation 30mm cannons front and back for those close finishes.
27 All Ford drivers required to drink 5 gallons of Hawaiian Punch prior to race. Bathroom stops must be made under green flag racing.
28 Clone the Bodines and Michael Waltrip to replace all the Ford drivers. Compliments of Bryan Young
29 Fords must use go-kart tires. Compliments of Bryan Young
30 Ford Crews must perform Chinese fire drill during all pit stops. Compliments of Bryan Young
31 Only 1 man over the wall on Ford pit stops (catch can guy). Compliments of Bryan Young
32 Paint "Darrell Waltrip" On the roof of every Taurus Compliments of Larry Murdock
33 Fords must pull Trailers. Not Car Trailers. Each Week a lucky fan gets his Mobile Home pulled around the speedway. Go Rusty!! And Bob's 14X70!!
34 More John Andrettis. Less Mark Martins and Dale Jarretts.
35 Put a SB2 engine in them.
36 New NASCAR spec: All Fords must use engine made by TORO. Compliments of Paul Di Gianfrancesco
37 All Fords must go to 7-11 across street form racetrack for mandatory
refueling and drinks and bathroom break during every green flag lap. Compliments of Paul Di Gianfrancesco
38 All Fords must use "Edsel" body design in future races. Compliments of Paul Di Gianfrancesco
39 Fords are to replace engines with Flintstone type propulsion. However, drivers may wear shoes. Compliments of MY WIFE DEBBIE
40 Every Ford team has to let Todd Bodine qualify their car. Compliments of Larry Murdock
41 Ford teams only allowed one set of tires per race weekend. Compliments of Larry Murdock
42 Ford drivers must drive using a Teflon/Silverstone coated steering wheel and gloves soaked in Slick 50, Dura-Lube, and Valvoline. Compliments of Bryan Young
43 Hoosier Tire returns to NASCAR, all Fords required to run them. Compliments of Greg Royce
44 Fords not allowed to run any glass in the windows. Compliments of Greg Royce
45 All Fords painted black with big 3's on the side Compliments of Greg Royce
46 New front windshield angle-90 degrees. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
47 Restrictor plates with no holes. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
48 Goodyear to provide square wheels for the Fords. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
49 Roof flaps to face the other way. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
50 Taurus replaced by Horse and Buggy. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
51 Opaque windows. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
52 New fuel additive-sugar. Compliments of Deb Rudolph
53 All Fords must remove the rear spoiler and flatten the right front tire prior to the green flag. Compliments of Anthony Blackwell
54 Fan Day at the Racetrack! Where the fans get to drive the Fords!
55 Cops patrol the Racetrack. And since the Fords wil be the only ones speeding (over 65), they will get the tickets.
Help me out with this. Send me your suggestions.
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