Dion and Bernice – The match of their lives
By Jenny Farrell, Sarah Henry and Paul Little
From the Australian Women’s Weekly – NZ Edition (March 2003)

[Some wedding photos from this article]

The first step on the road to marriage began with a chance meeting on the groom’s birthday.

A beautiful clearing, high on a bush-clad hill on Waiheke Island was the idyllic setting when two of New Zealand’s favourite sporting heroes, former Silver Fern captain Bernice Mene and former Black Cap Dion Nash, teamed up for the match of their lives. The pair has chosen the spectacular location above secluded Pie Melon Bay to declare their commitment to each other in front of 170 friends and family in early February. Everything went so smoothly, MC James McConie described it later as “Operation Desert Wedding”.

While Dion waited in the chapel-like setting with guests and family, Bernice’s brother Nathan Mene sounded a conch shell to herald the arrival of his sister, dressed in a stunning slim-fitting white silk gown, and strains of “Ave Maria” floated across the sultry summer air as the bride and her father, Mene Mene, began a long walk down through the trees to join her waiting groom. Her mother, sally, joined them fro the last few steps. From the moment she appeared, Dion’s eyes never left Bernice.

“She was pretty stunning,” says Dion. “It was definitely one of those moments you wait for and try to prepare for, but when she walked down towards me, and even though I thought I was ready for it, she still took my breath away. She looked beautiful. She is a beautiful bride.”

Dion and Bernice, who held hands throughout the ceremony, kept the vows simple and traditional. Halfway through, Dion cast a glance at Black Cap team-mate Adam Parore, who gave him a beaming thumbs-up. And like the good team captains they have been, the couple made it through with easy confidence, the only hiccup being when Bernice struggled to get the ring on Dion’s finger. Her ebullience broke the solemnity as she pealed with laughter, much to the amusement of Dion, the marriage celebrant Father Sullivan, and the gathered company.

As they signed the register, Bernice’s relatives sang a medley of Samoan songs led by singer Lapi Mariner. To onlookers it was as romantic a ceremony as any they had witnessed. “The wedding was,” said Bernice later, “one of those moments I’ll remember for the rest of my life.”

At the Pie Melon Bay homestead that morning, there was the usual pre-wedding scene of controlled chaos, punctuated with shrieks of girlish laughter, as Bernice and her attendants, Tania Dalton, Sophie Bisdee and Fiona Ryall, all still wearing pyjamas, went through the hair and makeup process with Tarnya Mills. There was an air of excitement, but the pace was relaxed because everything had been so well organised. Bernice, however, admitted she hadn’t slept well, waking every two hours and finally rising at seven.

“I got up and wandered around and then I looked out the window and went, ‘Oh my gosh, today’s the day,’ and then I drew a bath, a lavender oil bath, and after that I thought it was time that my bridesmaids got up.

“It felt a bit like a match day – a big match, a final! I hadn’t really thought about the actual wedding much. I found it quite hard to concentrate on it.

“There still seemed like so much to do, but I was excited. I kept thinking, ‘Have I got this? Have I got that?’”

We asked if she was excited about seeing Dion. “Yeah – Oooh, that made my heart go all funny, a bit of a skippity skip. It’s all very exciting. I can’t wait.”

There was a moment to spare for a calming glass of Veuve Cliquot before it was time for everyone to get into their wedding attire. “I was pretty chilled out,” says Bernice. “I was nervous about the walking down to the ceremony part and the first dance – we’re terrible. We’ve tried to make it really special but it’s just a shambles.”

Bernice’s night had also been an example of pleasantly controlled chaos. “We went on a boat trip and had special karaoke,” she says. “Everyone was fighting over the microphone – it was hilarious. I got given a little uniform to wear that was a couple of sizes too small.”

For his part, Dion had a game of – you guessed it – cricket and a night out with a few close friends. You probably noticed him if you were in the vicinity – he was the one who’d been obliged to wear a pair of “horrible friesan cowpants”.

The night before the wedding however, “We were too shattered to party because it had been all go,” says Bernice. “We cooked dinner, had a couple of wines and then a hot drink before bed.”

Dion spent the night before at the couple’s Waiheke Island retreat. On his wedding morning he had a game of gold with Bernice’s Dad. “I got beaten by my prospective father-in-law,” he confesses. “It’s hard for guys to fill in the time because they don’t have as much to do as girls.”

He had been kept in the dark about what Bernice would be wearing, “but I know she is going to look beautiful,” he told The Weekly before the ceremony. And so she did. They both looked beautiful.

The ceremony had its poignant aspects too, as those who should have been but could not be there were remembered. “It was lovely,” says Sally Mene. “I’m so happy, but we have had a few tears.”

For her, it was a day she had pictured since Bernice was a child. She was thrilled to have bent tradition a little to accompany Bernice the last few steps of her entrance. “We couldn’t do it the whole way,” she explains, “because the path was just too narrow. But it was neat to meet her and take those last few steps with her.”

“You can never imagine exactly what a day like this will be like. It is just so beautiful.”

No one is prouder of Bernice than her dad. Tears welled in his eyes as he described his feelings. “This is one of the proudest days of my life,” he said. “When I walked into her room before the ceremony and saw how beautiful she looked, my eyes just filled with tears. We sat there and chatted, and it was very emotional for me.

“In some ways I am sad because I feel like I’m losing my little girl, but I know she will be very happy, and I’m just so proud of her and I love her so much.”

The wedding reception was held in a marquee on the beachfront. Guests enjoyed tea-smoked salmon, seared chicken breast and fresh strawberries from The Great Catering Company and quaffed vintages from Euro Wines.

With their wide circle of contacts built up from years of playing sport at international level, Bernice and Dion had guests from all over – Australia, the USA, England, Ireland, Argentina. There could easily have been more. “It was a shame – we had some good friends from London who couldn’t make it,” says Dion, “and obviously the cricketers are in South Africa, so a few of them missed out.”

“We had a real spread of friends from different fields,” adds Bernice. “It was an amazing atmosphere on the night.”

“One of the coolest things,” says Dion, “was sitting at the top table looking at all the guests from this variety of fields and throwing them all together in one room and seeing them laugh and joke with each other.”

Dion’s speech, which he began with a welcome in somewhat halting Samoan, settled the question of whether he is more romantic than his image – even if it’s a cricket kind of romantic.

“To Bernie, my beautiful wife”, he said, drawing cheers with his heavy emohasis on the last word. “When I was a young guy, [Australian fast bowler] Dennis Lilee was my hero. I remember reading his book, and in it he said the only fast bowler he never minded bowling upwind in a partnership with was a guy called Geoff Thompson, who used to bowl at about 150ks. And that was a big compliment to Geoff. To be honest, Bernie, I don’t mind bowling upwind to you. You are fantastic.”

“On the invitations that you received there was a small poem,” Dion went on. “It says, ‘The breeze is blowing, I’m floating, dreaming of the view.’… When I first met Bernie, I texted this little gem of my own through to her one night, thinking I was being very romantic. Well, Bernie, I’m still floating and the view’s fantastic…”

Then came Bernice’s turn to bat with the mike. “My family have just switched the flower from my left ear to my right ear, which now tells everyone I am no longer available,” she began. She thanked her family for being a calming influence in the lead-up to the wedding, especially her grandmother who made the cake, complimented everyone on how they looked – “although I have to admit I couldn’t keep my eyes off Dion” – and cracked everyone up when she explained her garter had been cutting off the circulation in her leg all day, and invited Dion to remove it.

She got in early and admitted dancing isn’t one of the couple’s strengths: “We tried to rehearse a first dance. Last night at about 9.30, I’d just had my toenails painted. Dion took the paint off all of them… We were a little bit annoyed about our two left feet but we are going to do our best for you.”

Bernice performed a traditional Samoan siva, to impromptu vocal support from the family, including her parents. And the couple were given a traditional Samoan blessing, which means “Go lightly because there are no burdens.”

The couple spent the day after the wedding on Waiheke with family and friends, swimming and eating and enjoying the company of those who could only be with them for a short time. “It was great,” says Dion, “because one of Bernie’s uncles turned up with a whole pig. About 60 or 70 people came. Everyone was relaxed – a bit of kilikiti [Island cricket] on the front law.”

“And we got to have a good look at our presents and show everyone how spoiled we’d been,” adds Bernice.

They also exchanged gifts. Bernice gave Dion a silver cigar holder complete with luxury cigar and silver lighter, plus two tickets to Bruce Springsteen’s upcoming concert. He gave her a magnificent piece of contemporary jewellery – a necklace made out of mother of pear and antique piano keys.

Bernice Mene and Dion Nash met by accident in Auckland restaurant Limon on Dion’s birthday. “I was out with a couple of the netballers and Dion was there with his sister and niece,” explains Bernice. “He brought over a couple of drinks and said, ‘Hard luck about the world champs,’ and went away. Then he pulled up a chair a little bit later and introduced himself, and we just got on really well.”

“A quiet dinner for my birthday turned into a four o’clock event,” notes Dion.

In fact, it turned into a lifetime commitment. The couple clicked right from the start. Of course, each was aware of the other’s existence and – to some extent – their achievements.

“I knew who he was. I thought he was quite cute – ”

“Don’t say that,” pleads Dion.

“ – but I wasn’t a fanatical cricket follower or anything.”

For Dion’s part, “I just knew my mum thought she was a good netball player.”

A few weeks after that meeting, the couple had their first official date. “We went for a picnic up at Wenderholm,” recalls Bernice, “and then had a drink at the Puhoi pub and went out for dinner. That would have been our first date.”

And as the cliché so perfectly puts it, they hit it off right from the start.

“I think when we first met it was pretty amazing,” says Dion. “I wasn’t thinking about anything [like a relationship].

“Soon after I went away to Marlborough Sounds on a fishing trip with mates, and in the end they tried to gag me because I was talking about this woman so much. I came back and thought, ‘What am I doing?’ but it all clicked in the end.”

“It’s just been great from day one. I’m surprised it took me two years to ask her to marry me.”

He laughs: “I had to get my 30th out of the way first.”

The relationship has sailed smoothly through what could have been some major traumas, including the controversial retirements of both from their sports, and a jungle holiday, just the two of them, in South America, which could have finished up many couples.

“When we went, everyone said, ‘That’ll be the test of you’,” says Bernice. “And it was definitely very testing. We went up the jungle and some days I don’t think we even talked to each other.

“There were a couple of freaky nights on the river in the middle of the jungle,” says Dion, adding with a laugh, “All the locals in Peru thought Bernie was the biggest Peruvian woman they’d ever seen.”

Dion proposed to Bernice on Valentine’s Day last year – his attempts to arrange the perfect setting, on a visit to Waiheke, only slightly undermined by his intended.

“I had no idea he was going to propose,” she says. “I just thought it was Valentine’s Day. He said, ‘Shall we go for a picnic as soon as we get to the island? I said, ‘It’s too early for dinner. I want to go for a swim’. He was a bit jittery, but I didn’t pick up on it. Even when he brought out a beautiful bottle of champagne, all I could say was, ‘Shall we open it?’”

“So I opened it,” continues Dion, “then I thought, ‘Maybe I’ve jumped the gun.’ I had to backtrack a little bit. The funny thing is you never think until you’ve popped the question – there’s this horrible moment – ‘Oh my God, what if she says no?’”

“I started laughing,” says Bernice of her reaction. “And then I said, ‘Are you sure? You can back out now and I won’t hold you to it.’ That was kind of crazy. Then we charged back down and rang the family.”

In an age where no one has to get married, the couple have considered the reasons for taking the step very carefully. “For us I think it was the next stage,” says Dion.

“It’s a consolidation,” says Bernice. “It is definitely another step. Even if being engaged is another step.”

This shared attitude is just one of many things they have in common.

“Obviously when you’re at the top of your sport,” says Bernice, “you’re extremely competitive as well, and we are all that. No one likes losing in our house.”

“We’ve thrown a chessboard at each other once each now,” laughs Dion. “Neither of us plays very well. We just like having fun and we’ve got an adventurous side to our personalities. And also we have a healthy respect for each other.”

They agree that each understanding what the other is going through from shared experience of top sport is a big advantage.

“You know exactly the last thing you need is to be bothered on a match day,” says Bernice. “Little things like that – how you feel when you’ve won, how you feel when you’ve lost.”

“What not to say,” adds Dion. “That’s probably more important.”

“We’ve even got the same size feet,” says Bernice, emphasising they have more similarities than differences. “We wear each other’s shoes.”

And, in life after sport, they both have something new to occupy them, apart from their marital status.

Says Bernice: “At the moment I’m working as an Athlete Career Advisor with the Academy of Sport and for Paralympics NZ, creating an education kit for disability awareness.”

For his part, Dion has thrown himself into a venture that’s about as far from sport as you can get. “I’ve just started a company with a partner, exporting ice cream and meat to Japan. It’s six month’s old and still starting up, but we’re getting there.”

As for any future involvement with their sports, Bernice explains: “When you retire from sport, it’s such a big transition, and you do go through a bit of a grieving process. It takes quite a while to distance yourself from it. Because it’s so intense when you are playing, you’ve obviously given 100 per cent, so it does feel luxurious not to have to do anything. People say, ‘Would you go coaching?’ I’m not ready to give up my weekends again so soon.”

“I think Bernie’s nailed it,” concurs Dion. “The only thing I’d like is in maybe 10 years to coach a high school team. That’s what I like about sport – the team thing.”

And speaking of teams, will there be a new member to theirs any time soon?

“I think we both like the idea of having kids,” says Dion, “but we’ve got a few years up our sleeves and we want to achieve a few more things. If we do have a family, we want to be able to devote enough time to it. We want to have got a few things out of our system so we can give that time.”

“I have to reach 30 yet,” says Bernice, echoing Dion’s feelings about getting married. “Once I get over that…”

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