Natalie from Sports Night

"I punch you in yo face if you be dissin Shaft!"
Name: Natalie Hurley (I don't know her real name, but she should change it)
Age: Probably a decade above the age she can give consent
Occupation: Working for sports night, throwing water in Dan Rydell's face, sucking a golfball through a gardenhose to impress Jeremy, and waiting on that Benson dude
Hobbies: needlepoint, needlesharing, beating needle man with gemini laser
Famous Friends: Casey McCall, Dan Rydell, Benson, Allen Iverson, and Raffi
Favorite Position: Mermaid
Why Worship Natalie?: She knows more about sports than you, can chug beer faster than you, and can sell children on e-bay better than you.
What Natalie has done with her life?

A shitty show about a shitty show deserves a shitty profile about a shitty actor on a shitty show about a shitty show. Shit fuck ass hell cunt.

Natalie was a thug growin up in the mean streets of some bumblefuck town in the middle of Iowa. Her and Tupac used to tip cows and staple their udders together. By age 4, Natalie grew weary of living the gangsta life. That and Tupac moved away to go shoot mothafuckas and movies with Omar Epps.

Rather than getting done in the dumper by her dog and having it filmed for the underground (like most of her friends did in Iowa to make money to buy stuff), Natalie went to school. After being thrown out of every school in Iowa for selling her teachers' dresses to J. Edgar Hoover, Natalie moved to New York.

New York couldn't handle this crazy piece of ass. By age 13, she was in the slamma for mugging an old lady and stealing her mobile rocking chair. Since she was young, she got sent to one of those bettter than home juvie halls. There, she watched sports all day and designed paper airplanes at night.

Natalie's interests led her to the one place that accepts people for loving sports and being wildly out of control...college. There, she was drafted by CSC to do the show Sports Night.

Several shows, such as the "Fox pregame show", "ESPN sports center", and "Oh streusel, my streusel" competed for her, but she opted for CSC because she wanted to work with that Benson dude.

She met geeky Jeremy at Sports Night and fucked him at first sight. "He beat me at Tecmo Bowl. At that point, I knew we had to go to the penalty box," I claim Natalie said. "Now get the fuck out of my face. That Doritos commercial with that kick ass tennis racket is on."


"Take this, you fucking Fox Sports whores."

Sure, she's a feisty bitch, but she's so fast with a dodgeball that she doesn't need to aim for the fat kid first.

Sports Night had its two seasons. Natalie was unable to get Casey and Dana to sleep together because ABC didn't like the show (and I'm sure neither did the rest of America). Of course, Natalie is probably still working now.

"I'm not working now! I'm sorry for yelling. Hug? Hearty handshake? UMASS tee-shirt?"

Well, I guess I was wrong. Her and Jeremy stopped seeing eachother because Jeremy went blind from staring into sharp pencils. Now Natalie spends her time selling hot pockets and quoting the Weather Channel. Kudos to you, Natalie.


Links to other celebrities...
JD Roth
Tony Randall
Natalie from Sports Night
Fred The Baker
Princess Stevenson
Christopher Walken
Rick Moranis


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