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DIE SQUASH DIE!

squash

So you did it again! Grew enough squash to cure world hunger.
Your neighbor's shut the doors and close the curtains when they see you coming.
You take some down to the housing project and their either allergic to it or
on their way to a job interview.
You sit out by the road with a big 'FREE SQUASH' sign
and the travelers laugh and point at you.

Here are some handy tips to take care of that little problem!
I'll add to them as we experiment.

1: Set squash up for kids to use their B.B. guns on.
2: Tie 20 squash to the back of your truck and take off down a gravel road.
3: Grind it up and add small untraceable amounts to hot salsa.
4: Drill a hole in it and stuff a cherry bomb inside...light and throw...quick.
5: Flying squash. Get a long large pipe with the back end blocked up. Add one squash
and a small bomb.
6: Wrap a blanket around it,draw a face on it and let pre-schoolers use for a veggie baby.
7: Hang from a tree and use for bow and arrow practice.
8: Mad at the hubby? wife? Serve it at every meal for a week.
9: Whop big dog on the head with one when he gets out-of-line.
10: Shoot one with a magnum 44.
11: House quest staying too long? Serve it every meal till they leave.
12: Slice thin, dip in sugar syrup. Dehydrate and tell kids it's banana chips from big bananas.
13: See if you can chunk one all the way down to that big tree by the woods.
14: Feed it to the cows. They'll eat anything.
15: Grade the sides with a cheese grader till rough. Roll in peanut butter and bird seed. Hang from the trees.
16: Put some on a busy highway then bet whose's will get hit first.
17: Run the lawn mower over them.
18: Start your first compost pile.
19: See how many squash it takes to fill a 1974 two door Cadillac.
20: Does squash burn? It does with a blow torch!

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