THINGS TO SAY ABOUT
A GIFT YOU DON'T LIKE

• Hey! There's a gift.
  
  
• Well, well, well...
  
  
• Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.
  
  
• Perfect for wearing in the basement.
  
  
• Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
  
  
• If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
  
  
• I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
  
  
• Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
  
  
• To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
  
  
• I really don't deserve this.