•NYC Blackout- 107: TOW the Blackout Download

New York City has no power, And the milk is getting sour, But to me it's not scary, Because I stay away from dairy!

•Suicide & the Snowman- 110: TOW the Monkey Download

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin',
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...

•Mother's Ashes- 110: TOW the Monkey Download

My mother's ashes,
Even her eyelashes,
Are resting in a little yellow jar.
And sometimes, when it's breezy, I feel a little sneezy, and now I...
...Excuse me? Excuse me! (To two men who keep talking, one who ends up being David, the scientist Phoebe fell in love with and then he went to Minsk.)

•Coma Guy- 111: TOW Mrs. Bing Download

You don't have to be awake to be my man
Long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day there is something I have got to say...

Ok, thank you very much, I'm going to take a short break now (Phoebe preceeds to run out the door after Monica)

•Found Their Bodies- 123: TOW the Birth Download

(Sung by Phoebe while she, Susan, and Phoebe are locked in a hospital storage closet)

They found their bodies the very next day,
They found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.

•Babies- 123: TOW the Birth Download

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,
And soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,
You cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you cry and you cry...

•Shower Song- 206: TOW the Baby on the Bus Download

I'm in the shower,
And I'm writing this song,
Stop me if you've heard it!
My skin is soapy,
And my hair is wet,
And tegrin spelt backwards it nirget!
Lather, rinse, repeat,
Lather, rinse, repeat,
Lather, rinse, repeat,
As needed!

•Two of Them Kissed- 208: TOW the List Download

Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,
And a guy let's call him Neil,
Now I can't stress this point too strongly,
This story isn't real.
Now our Neil must decide,
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?
Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie?
He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!

•Barnyard Animals- 212: TO After the Superbowl Download

The cow in the meadow goes moo,
The cow in the meadow goes moo,
Then the farmer hits him over the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers!
...Now Chickens!...

•Sometimes- 212: TO After the Superbowl Download

Sometimes men love women,
And sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals,
But some just say they're kidding themselves!

•Grandma- 212: TO After the Superbowl Download

Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes,
she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
but the truth is she died and some day you will too.
La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...

•But Don't- 212: TO After the Superbowl Download

There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you... But don't.
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do,
Everybody, That's another thing that you don't wanna do.

•Smelly Cat (full cast)- 217: TOW Eddie Moves In Download

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault!
They won't take you to the vet,
You're obviously not their favorite pet,
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're not a friend to those with noses,
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault!

•Jingle Bitch- 314: TOW Phoebe's Ex Partner Download

Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell...

•Crazy Underwear- 323: TOW Ross's Thing Download

Crazy underwear- creepin' up my butt,
Crazy underwear- always in a rutt,
Crazy underwear...

•Colors of the Bedroom- 401: TOW the Jellyfish Download

...and fucia and mauve,
Those are the 66 colors of my bedro-o-om...
And I invite all of you to count the colors in your bedroom...

•Sticky Shoes- 405: TOW Joey's New Girlfriend Download

Phoebe: Sticky shoes, my sticky, sticky shoes,
why you stick on my ba-a-by!
Thanks for the lights honey...
All: Way to go, Phoebe!
Monica: That cold makes you sound so great.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)

•Holiday Song- 410: TOW the Girl From Poughkeepsie Download

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap,
Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap,
Said all you need is to write them a song,
They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along,
No, don't sing along.

Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah,
Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross,
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!
And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!

Happy holidays, everybody!

•Fetus Song- 412: TOW the Embryos Download

Are you in there little fetus?
In nine will you come great us?
I will buy you some Adidas...

•Little Black Curly Hair- 603: TOW Ross's Denial Download

I found you in my bed!
How’d you wind up there?
You are a mystery!
Little black curly hair!
Little black curly hair!
Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair.....

•It Only Takes Two Heart Attacks- 616: TO That Could've Been, Part II Download

It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see,
One of them won’t do it, but the second one will set you free,
Tell all your hate and anger, it’s time to say good-bye,
And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!
La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la...