Luke and Lesley were talking still when Lucky came down the stairs.
He looked over at his father and then walked out of the house. Les
looked at Luke and saw the pain in his eyes. She placed a hand on
his shoulder and said, "Maybe you should go talk to him." Luke nodded
in agreement and went outside to find Lucky.
Lucky was sitting on the steps looking out, yet not noticing anything out there. All he could think about was how he was angry at his father for raping his mother a long time ago and for trying to kill himself. He was also angry with himself because if he had tried to talk to his dad about it, maybe none of this would have happened. He knew some kind of amends would have to be made, but he really didn't see how he could ever look at his father with the same kind of trust again. However, with his dad's close call with death, it made Lucky look at everything with a new perspective. He knew he would never forgive himself if he didn't talk to his dad before it was too late.
Luke came outside and saw Lucky sitting. He thought back to how much his son trusted him and how close they once were. They were best friends, and Luke missed that a lot. He was always scared of his son opening his eyes and seeing the man Luke really was, but he had tried to do his best to always show his good side to him. He was proud that Lucky was growing up to be a good man, knowing what was right and wrong. He knew his son would turn out to be a better man than he ever was. Luke took a deep breath before sitting next to Lucky.
Luke: Hi.
Lucky: (looking away) Hi.
Luke: I'm sorry, son. For everything.
Lucky: What are you sorry for? For trying to kill yourself or for messing up the job?
Luke: I'm sorry for any pain I ever caused you. I'm sorry for the life you had to live... sorry that you found out about what happened between your mother and me a long time ago... sorry that I was ever capable of doing that to her... sorry for trying to kill myself instead of facing my problems I'm sorry for it all.
Lucky: I've always looked up to you, even when people put you down. I was always proud that you were my father, but lately, the image of you being the strong, brave man has been destroyed. I'm seeing you differently. I never thought I would use this term to describe you, but it seems fitting for some reason.
Luke: What term?
Lucky: Coward.
Luke: I know I am.
Lucky: I always looked at you and admired that nothing seemed to really faze you.
Luke: I hid a lot of my fears inside, Lucky. I didn't want anyone to think of me as a coward, but you're right. That's what I am. The one thing you don't know, Lucky, is about who I was when I was younger. What I have become since meeting your mother is something I never imagined myself being. I try to set some kind of example that you can look up to, but I also know that some things that I have done in my past are nothing to be proud of. I just hope that there is something that I have done since you've been born that you can look up to and maybe respect a little.
Laura was in the doorway, listening to Luke and Lucky's conversation. She wanted to give them a little time before she jumped in, but she felt this was the perfect time to get the 3 of them to discuss what had happened and what has happened since then.
Laura: I think Lucky should be able to find one thing to look up to you for, if he really thinks about it.
Lucky: I can't look up to a rapist or a coward who feels it is better to take his own life than to deal with his problems.
Laura watched as Lucky's words tore Luke's heart up. Luke turned away, not wanting his son to see him crying. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried desperately to stop them. The more he tried to avoid crying, the more the tears were coming.
Laura: Lucky, I understand a little of where you are coming from, but for you to judge what happened between your father and me before you were born is unacceptable. You have no idea what happened, and you can't even begin to imagine.
Lucky: I saw rape in the form of a friend of mine. She was raped and I saw her innocence taken away. That's what rape did to her. Are you telling me that didn't happen to you?
Laura: No. Something was taken away from me. I can't deny that.
Lucky: Then how could you forgive him? How could you marry him?
Laura: Lucky, your father lived his life by the motto, "Take what you want because nothing is going to be handed to you." Unfortunately, that's what he did a long time ago, but I knew that wasn't him.
Lucky: It sounds like you're making excuses for him.
Laura: I'm not trying to. I'm trying to explain an unexplainable situation to you, Lucky. And my thoughts are not coming across the way I'd like them to. All I can tell you is that when I needed your father, he was always there for me. He was there after the rape. He was the only one I could turn to.
Lucky: I don't get it. Why turn to your rapist?
Laura: Because he was the only one who understood what I was going through. Lucky, listen to me. Your father didn't even realize what he had done to me until after it was over. It's not excusing him from it, but it's the plain and simple truth. He didn't realize what had happened until after the phone rang. He was also going through the kind of pain I was, but for a different reason. He not only raped me that night, but he raped himself. I wish there was a better way for me to describe it, but there isn't. So, yes, I did turn to him, eventually. He completely understood what I went through. My husband didn't know. He didn't understand, even though he tried. I couldn't confide in him, but I was able to confide in your father.
Lucky looked at her, still not believing how any of this was possible. He just couldn't understand how his parents could have gotten together after his father raped his mother. Laura looked at him, knowing that her feelings for Luke still weren't registering with him, and she doubted they ever would. She didn't quite understand them either, but she knew she could always trust her feelings.
Laura: I can say this to you, Lucky, and it is something that I know you do understand, even if you are trying not to at the moment. Your father and I do love each other.
Lucky: Why?
Laura: Let me finish We do love each other with all our hearts. How that happened, no one knows. You can't control your feelings for someone, Lucky, like it was a light switch. You can't just turn them on and off whenever you choose. And what your father and I have built is a great marriage and a great family.
Lucky: You built it on a rape. What's so right about that?
Luke: Let your mother finish her side. We've heard yours, at least be considerate enough to listen to hers now.
Laura: Thank you Lucky, we built our marriage and family on love and only love. We did fall in love with each other. We couldn't control it. It just happened. What you seem to forget is that we do love each other. We got past the rape and I won't go reliving it for you. I got past it. But it's not a part of who I am, and you seem to think it should be. I don't consider myself a victim, Lucky. It was 19 years ago. And your father could never rape a woman now, whether you'd like to think so or not. He has always treated me with respect and love. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Shouldn't my feelings about my husband count for something?
Lucky: I see what you're saying, but I watch what Liz is going through every day, and she won't ever forget she was raped. I don't see how you could.
Luke: Does it look like she's forgotten, Lucky? She just told you her side of the story, and I don't remember her denying anything that happened. Neither one of us ever forgot that night. I always will feel guilty about it. Every day I wake up, I can't believe that your mother did find the good in me and was able to fall in love with me. I have never forgotten what I did to her and I know that she never forgot it either. It was too huge to ever forget, but that doesn't mean that you can't get past it.
Laura: Lucky, look at it this way. When we faked my death, did any of your friends ever forget that you lied to them about it?
Lucky: No.
Laura: Will you always feel guilty?
Lucky: Yeah.
Laura: Did you and your friends get past it?
Lucky: Yeah.
Laura: That's what we're trying to tell you. We got past it. It was our choice to make. You have no right to judge our marriage on a rape, just as your friends would have no right to judge your friendship with them based on that lie. (taking a deep breath) You know, I'm tired of trying to justify my actions for one night. I love your father and that's all there is to it. Why I do is really no one's business but my own. Now if you'll excuse me, I think it time for Lulu to take a nap.
Laura leaves a shocked Lucky and Luke sitting on the steps. She hoped that they would come to some kind of agreement, but she really didn't see that happening too soon. All she could do is be there for the both of them, even if she wanted to slap some sense to the both of them at times.
