TAKING STOCK

For Judi Evans Luciano, Soap Stardom was Great, But ...

by Melissa Scardaville Soap Opera Digest Whenever Judi Evans Luciano looks back at the 18 years she spent in daytime, she can't help but marvel. "How the hell did I do it all?" she laughs. "It was a nonstop whirlwind lifestyle where I would just go, go, go and do, do, do, and I didn't have much of a chance to reflect on life or ask myself who I was." Taking a deep breath, the actress adds, "Now, I've had that chance." The opportunity came after the cancellation of ANOTHER WORLD Iast year; Luciano had played feisty Paulina since 1991. "It was a hard adjustment being such a workaholic for so many years, and just stopping--through no fault of my own. I kept thinking, 'Who am I if I am not playing Paulina?' " recalls Luciano. "I had so many responsibilities then that if I didn't get them all done, I failed. I went through this period, almost like a mourning, which led me to realize that there was more to life, and there was more to me. Now, I know what true success is--it's in yourself and the life you make, and not necessarily the job or the money. I won't say those things aren't great because they are--I've had great success in my career, and I'm very proud of it. But my real success has been my family." Consequently, Luciano has put her career on the back-burner. "Playing with my son [Austin] and enjoying a picnic with my husband [Michael] are things I've always loved to do, but now I can do them without the pressure of having five scripts to learn," smiles the actress. Relocating to California, near Luciano's folks, also brought unexpected benefits. "My parents basically missed out on the first four years of my son's life," explains the ac- tress, "so now they are making up for lost time. I'll get a call [from them] saying, 'We need an Austin fix. Can you bring him over?' " shares Luciano, who makes the 20-minute drive between the two homes almost daily. "Austin calls my father 'his best buddy.' They do everything together. When my dad works in his office, he' II set up a calculator and pencil for Austin. You'll cry, it's so sweet. He goes to Grandma for the Band-Aids and the cuddling, but everything else is about Grandpa. And my dad gets to tell his old, corny jokes to a new audience, so he's thrilled." All that focus on family helps put life in perspective for Luciano, who was at first unnerved by L.A.'s youth-obsessed culture. "I was letting myself think that 'over 35' meant 'over the hill,' " sighs the actress. "I would hear, 'Oh, this pilot season wasn't geared toward people in their 30s,' and I'd think, 'What? Who's buying these products? People in their 30s!' " Luciano has taken a proactive approach by working on projects behind the camera. With three other women, Luciano developed a handful of film scripts and pilots. "[Writing] has always been a dream of mine, but I was afraid to try. I don't have a college degree [so I thought], 'How can I write?' " She needn't have worried. "The three of us wrote an entire film treatment in 12 hours one weekend," says Luciano. "Boom, boom, boom, it was done. After we finished, we looked at each other, and I got some blackberry brandy because one of the girls was sick and that stuff will cure anything. We all took a shot of the brandy, and went, 'Okay, we're writers.' " Luciano also found fulfillment volunteering at a local convalescent home. "Growing up, I used to really want to be a geriatrician because I believed that the elderly, especially in the United States, were overlooked," she explains. "The elderly really are the diamonds of our society. There are people who have [witnessed us progressing] from horse to man on the moon. They have so many gifts to give, and nobody is willing to open their hands and take them." Around that time, Luciano learned that she'd almost lost the role of Pasty Ramsey in Fox's docudrama, GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER: THE JONBENET RAMSEY STORY, because she was too young. "After the movie was over, the director told me, 'You know, I had to fight for you. When [the producers] first saw your tape, they thought [you were] too young, too pretty, and too thin.' Man, that just made my entire universe, especially after all that weight I lost," she smiles. "And then the director gave me the nicest compliment. He told them, 'But look at her acting--she's Patsy.' [It was] an all-in-one compliment--too young, too pretty, too thin, and then to say that they should judge me on my acting," Luciano chuckles. The praise had Luciano on cloud nine for a day, but after nearly two decades in the business, she's learned to appreciate what really matters. "I've come to a very happy place with myself," she says. "Before, I didn't have time to wonder if I was a good wife or mother. Now I can [say], 'Yeah, I really am. I am a good wife, a good mother, a good person.' " #

SIDEBAR: ABOVE AND BEYOND Luciano shares a special bond with her mother's mother, who died when Luciano was 4. "My grandmother wore a very distinct perfume that my mother didn't wear. After she died, every so often, I would say, 'I smell Grandma,' and my mom would look at me like I was crazy. Then one day, my grandmother's sister, who wore the same perfume, came over and I said, 'Oh, you smell like Grandma.' My mom just looked at me because she knew it was true - my grandmother had been visiting me. To this day, I'll be standing by myself, and I'll get this warm feeling, and I'll smell her. Sometimes [she comes] at a triumphant moment, sometimes it's at my deepest dark time, but she's always saying, 'I'm here and you're okay.'" Return to Press Index