HE SAID/SHE SAID: AW's Joe & Paulina

A Couple In Crisis

SOAP OPERA MAGAZINE December 2, 1997 Joe and Paulina Carlino's marriage on AW has been severely tested. Paulina became addicted after she turned to diet pills to help her lose some extra pounds. After almost killing her friend's son, she turned to booze. Her coup de grace came when she mixed cold medicine with pills and passed out at Carlino's as gas seeped out of the oven. Paulina swore off drugs and alcohol, but when her house burned down as a result of Grant's machinations, it was the last straw for Joe. Joe Barbara (Joe) and Judi Evans Luciano (Paulina) spoke with Soap Opera Magazine about the state of the Carlino marriage. SOAP OPERA MAGAZINE: Why did Joe deny Paulina's problems at first? JOE BARBARA: She was Miss Perfect to him, and he wanted that. He didn't want her to have any problems. His image was, "This is my world, and this is my wife in my world, and this is how it's always going to be." No one wants to admit their life isn't what they dreamed it would be. It took him a while to get to, "Okay, I have to do something about this. My life is not as perfect as I want to believe. I'm fooling myself." JUDI EVANS LUCIANO: As a police captain, Joe deals with drug addicts and, drug dealers on the street all the time, so his wife couldn't possibly be one of those. She was a "sweet, innocent, good girl." She couldn't really have a drug problem. SOM: What went wrong in the marriage? JEL: I don't necessarily think there's something wrong in their marriage. Circumstances have caused problems that caused misunderstandings that caused problems. Their basic marriage is still there. The love and the trust are still there--it's just a lot harder to do right now. JB: I have to agree with that. There is miscommunication... JEL: And lies. JB: Definitely lies. JEL: But they love each other and, to an extent, trust each other- or want to very much. JB: I think also Paulina obviously has become insecure and obsessed with the weight problem. More important than the obsession is the insecurity. The problems stem from the fact that for a relationship to be healthy, both people have to be secure. JEL: You have to believe the other person loves you no matter what. JB: And you have to love yourself. You can't love the other person--you can't believe in their love -until you love yourself. JEL: Absolutely. From Paulina's stand point, the problems in their marriage come from the problems inside her. What is she worth if she's not a size 4? So that's put a lot of pressure on the marriage. JB: Self-worth is a huge ingredient in a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship, and right now Paulina is lacking self-worth and Joe--he's like, "What am I not doing to make my wife feel worthy, to make my wife feel good about herself? I'm failing her because I can't make her feel good about herself." So both of them have a confidence problem when it comes to the marriage. SOM: What is at the root of Paulina's low self-esteem? JEL: That she's never been good enough. She wasn't good enough to have parents--she was an orphan. She wasn't good enough to be a Cory--even though she was, she was the bastard Cory. In each stage of her life when she's grown there's still always been that piece of her that says, "You're just not perfect and just not good enough." SOM: How does Joe feel he's contributed to Paulina's problems? JB: Joe feels that as a husband he should be able to make his wife feel good. He should be able to solve her problems. Since her problems can't be solved, he wonders what's wrong with him. He thinks he's responsible for making her life wonderful. And if her life isn't wonderful, he's somehow failed her. SOM: Did Paulina feel Joe lied when he said she was beautiful no matter what her size? JEL: Oh, yes, she believed he was lying. She wanted to believe that it was true, but how could it be? SOM: Was it hard for him, knowing she didn't believe him? JB: Yes. It was more of a struggle to convince her of it. It just never seemed to sink in. There was a scene where he said, "How many times have I told you over and over again I love you more now than the day we got married?" And she comes back with, "You say the words." And he says, "I mean them." JEL: No matter how mad he gets about it, she doesn't believe him. JB: I remember doing that scene and screaming, "I mean them!" I said those lines so many times that I didn't even need to act! It's like, "How many times have I said those words? And she's not getting it." SOM: When will Paulina hit rock bottom? JEL: Her rock bottom was when she hit the floor at Carlino's and passed out with the oven on. To her that was it. She didn't want her son to grow up without a mother like she did, or father; too. SOM: Does Joe feel the same way? JB: Absolutely not. He completely believes that she is somehow responsible for the fire--with every good reason. She hasn't been stable, she got hooked on speed and she started drinking a lot. They did a blood test and found downers--barbiturates--in her system the night the house burned down. He saw her stumbling and out of it, incoherent and unable to put complete sentences together, and then the blood test came back positive for drugs. The house burned down. Even if she didn't have all that going on, the thought would cross his mind--could she have prevented this? SOM: Can this marriage be saved? JEL: Oh, yeah. JB: In the soap world, any soap marriage can be saved... JEL: And any good marriage can be dumped! # Return to Press Index