Bringing Out the Women In Me Again
As Lucy turned around from the cradle, she heard the baby start to cry again. 'This is going to be a long long night' she thought. John was still at work and she hadnt found the time to call him. Just as she thought this would be the time the baby would sleep the phone broke the needed silence.
"John?" she quickly asked as she raced for the phone but not in time for the baby to stop crying.
"Whoa Lucy, relax." the voice said.
"Sorry Jerry, I've been meaning to call Carter about his son." she said a little impatiently.
"well here ya go, take it up with him Im just the desk clerk" he replied defensively.
"Carter?.....Carter.....JOHN CARTER!" she finally yelled into the phone. 'the babys already crying it cant do much harm to yell at his absent minded father' she told herself.
"Yea, sorry trauma came in a little girl-" he was cut short
"IM SORRY TO SAY CARTER, BUT I COULDNT GIVE A DAMN!" she yelled letting most of her anger out in one sentence.
"Jesus luce you must be having a hard time over there. Do you need me to come home?" he said trying not to pick a fight with lucy. She had been a little cranky lately since Carter was restarting normal hours and had to leave her at night with the baby.
"Yes" she whined like a little girl desperate for help
"Ok ill talk to weaver but she wont like this"
"I know but your son whines insesently. He just doesent stop I cant move or even breathe without a yell out of that ki-"
"OK OK Im comin home soon" he said. again, he was trying to calm her.
"Good" and with that she hung up the phone.
~~~~~Kerrys office~~~~~~~
"no john absolutely not." she said.
"Kerry, come on lucy is having a really tough time with the baby. I cant just leave her there alone with him all night." he protested.
"John, you came back for regular hours now its time you started filling those hours." she explained. She had that wining tone in her voice that always meant there was no getting around it....until now. The next sentence out of her mouth was seriously unexpected.
"Look, John i know its hard having a first time mom at home alone with her baby especially at night. so Im taking you off of regular hours, but that doesent mean that she cant come in right? during the day i want lucy in here for at least 2 hrs to do paperwork and then move up on the hours and get back to the patients." she sighed shocked at herself for having let John get to her. He put on that face that pleaded with her. It annoyed her to hell and she was not in the mood to ignore it.
"Thank you Dr. Weaver I mean it thank you soo much." he exclaimed.
"Yea yea yea get back to lucy but be sure to tell her what I said" she yelled after him.
~~~~~~home 20 minutes later~~~~~~
"Lucy" he said in a strong whisper.
Lucy came out of the bedroom with her son in one arm and a spit towel on her other sholder. from what carter could tell he was asleep. Apparently though he didnt know his own son. "Dont think for a second that hes asleep." she scolded. " I cant get him to shut his eyes. Hes gone through 3 bottles and they were warm milk." she complained as she handed him off to her husband who at the moment was not her favorite person.
"I'm sorry Luce" he sighed.
"Well what do you want me to say John? that I forgive you for not letting me get sleep for the past 4 days?" she whined.
"4 days?!" he repeated.
"Yes john count em 4. I cant do it. Am i the total failur of a mom or what?" she finally anounced what she thought all along.
"No no no, lucy your not a faillure. I just have been the total moron lately. I'm sorry"
she smiled at his apology. "i needed to hear that. now, im going to bed for the first time in god knows how long." she laughed as she kissed her husband good night and walked to the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~CCGH 7:30 am~~~~~~
"Lucy are you sure you want to come in now?" John asked as he and his wife prepared for a long trauma filled day.
"Yea, I got the baby upstairs in ob for the day, and Ive been catching up on paper work." she said.
"Ok."
just then the new nurse stepped in and asked " Dr. Knight right?" she had a smile that made lucy feel good to be back. she missed that how her friends always smiled at her when she came in.
"yea you must be Ashley Zar the new nurse" Lucy had heard about her from John. he called her a hyper-active-talking machine but in English translated from Carter language, that meant she was cheerful and probably fun to be around.
"Oh ashley is fine"
"Ok what can i do for you?"
"um i found this paperwork for a Paul, So- so- sobriki i think" she said. as soon as that name was said Lucy found herself on the floor again collapsed infront of her locker.
"Did i say something wrong?" Ashley looked nervous and regreted saying that sentence not knowing though why.
"Um Ashley Ill fill it out its ok just leave it there" Carter said "thanx " he added hoping she wouldnt feel terrible about what lucy had reacted to.
"Lucy, its ok" he comforted her on the floor where he found her crying.
"I, Im sorry John. his name just.... well it just brought back the whole thing. I remember it so clearly and every last detail." she began to sob into johns shoulder. She hadnt realized she would react that way to his name.
"its fine well get you all cleaned up and well forget about what happend" he assured her.
"Ok" she agreed.
The rest of the day she did suturing, minor traumas, but nothing serious. She thought she could handle a stab wound victim until she saw the innocent blond woman sprawled in blood on the gourney. Lucy ran out in terror and into the ladies room. She vomited for nearly 3 minutes. Haleh ran in to check on her. Lucy was always glad to see haleh. She just had an attitude about her that made lucy feel comfortable confiding in her.
~~~~~~~~~Lounge 2:45 pm~~~~~~~~~
"Well shows what a great doctor I am" lucy finally calmed down and talked to haleh.
"well we all make mistakes. but yours was just a memory lucy, dont think that has anything to do with how good of a doctor you are. You are probably the most successful student that has gone through this ER and through your type of traumas. You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed" and with that she went to a trauma leaving lucy in thought.
'yea ' she thought to herself, 'shes right. Im just taking it too fast thats all. maybe slow down a bit'.
~~~~~~~~~~~home~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man carter is soo gonna be surprised. she smiled at the thought of carters face when he saw for the first time in months, a home cooked meal. Lucy had gotten off early today and John would be home at 5:30. For a change the baby was somewhere other than home. Barbra Knight had come into town and decided to catch up with her grandson. He would spend the night in her condo here so that 'lucy could have a god damned well deserved break' were her exact words. Lucy was feeling like a woman again, not a tired mom and she felt ready to remind carter of that too.
"Hey luce" his voice rang into her ears but startled her when she felt his arms around her waist.
"Hi" she said. she was happy and he could tell by the sexy tone she added to her voice. Lucy had always put off being this way around her baby or with him in the house. ' its not right for the whole mother image' she would always say when carter tried to get intimate again but now he felt he was getting somewhere.
"so whats for dinner?" he said his head resting on her shoulder as she let him taste his favorite dish from her. It was soup that took all day to make and he hadnt tasted it from her for a long long time.
"mmm" he said when he finally remembered that taste again.
"You like it? Im surprised, I havent cooked in like 2 years" she laughed as she felt happy he was enjoying their time alone. ' finally,' she thought, ' a night alone with him again'. she smiled at the thought of the course of the evening.
