These characters belong to the gorgeous lads and lasses at Mutant Enemy.
Birds of a Feather
“See if you can find _Preternatural Legends_ while I get
the tea, please.”
“What’s that one look like?”
Giles leaned over the counter and raised an eyebrow.
“It’s a book. It has _Preternatural Legends_ on the spine.”
Buffy cocked her head to one side, appraising him. “I
wonder how it’d look stuffed up-”
“Oh, all right!” he hastily interrupted her. He pointed
at the bookshelf. “It’s a large, red book, on the lower shelf.”
“Thank you,” she grinned evilly and knelt next to the
bookcase, running her finger along the spines.
“I do so enjoy these little social visits, Giles,”
Xander said in his bad English accent. He stretched theatrically and put his
feet on the coffee table.
“Explain to me again why you’re here?”
“Someone had to drive No-Car Buffy. And you know you’d
miss me if I wasn’t around.” He cracked his gum noisily.
“I’ve never had a chance to find out,” Giles said
with affectionate exasperation. He placed the tray on the coffee table, deftly
removed Xander’s feet with an elbow, and turned to Buffy. “You can’t find
it?”
“Ow!” Buffy jumped up, holding her finger. “That one
bit me!”
Giles paled. “Which one?”
“The green one.”
“The green…one…” Giles bolted for the bookcase,
landing in a heap beside it. He grabbed the book, waving it frantically. “This
one?”
Buffy frowned in concern. “Yeah.”
“You shouldn’t even be able to see… oh no. Oh –
once again – dear.”
Xander was on his feet. “Uh, Giles?”
“What?”
“How come your apartment’s bigger than it used to
be?” He pointed at the extra room at the end of the corridor.
“Gahhhh!” Giles leapt up, and ran to the calendar.
“Oh, no, it’s come already – oh bloody, bloody, bloody hell!” He covered
his face with his free hand.
Buffy and Xander exchanged looks. Buffy asked, “Giles,
what is it?”
He came to a decision, and took a deep breath. “I suppose
it’s time you knew.”
“Yeah. Spill, Giles. Is it more world-endage?”
“No, just the end of my dignity.”
Buffy snickered. “I think that vanished with the
magician’s outfit.”
“Thank you ever so much.”
“So what happened? And what’s in that extra room?”
Xander walked straight into Giles’ outstretched arm when he tried to get
closer.
“Sit down and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Buffy and Xander sat on the couch. Giles sat, stood, sat
again, then jumped up and paced. “That ill-tempered little book has
information which could help me. But the concealing magic has run out. Which
means it’s been five years since the last time, and it’s time for me to –
oh dear.” He muttered something obscene under his breath. “It all started
back in England. When I was tangled up with Ethan. I spent a lot of time with a
girl who was on the fringes of our group. She didn’t get dragged into the
Eyghon debacle, thank God.”
“I’m flabbergasted, Giles,” Xander commented. “You
with a girl? My gast is well and truly flabbered.”
Giles sighed, and went on. “The group had been
experimenting with raising demons. And I was convinced I could handle myself.
So, after one lovely evening with Jennifer, I decided to show off.”
“You pretended to enjoy a sporting event?” Xander
asked. He shrank back when Giles glared at him.
“There was one difficulty. I had a touch of the flu, so
my diction was far from impeccable.” He stood at the corridor opening, and
beckoned the other two. “You might as well see.”
Buffy nudged Xander in the ribs excitedly as they followed
Giles. She ignored his muttered “Oof!”
Giles opened the door to the mystery room. They looked
inside. And down. And started to laugh.
Buffy managed, “So you tried to call up…”
“The foul – dark – power of Illuzal.” Giles
completed, rubbing his forehead.
The yellow duck with little red horns waddled between them.
Giles grabbed it before it could escape. It quacked angrily, and a tiny bolt of
lightning crackled out from its beak. There was a faint smell of ozone in the
air. Giles yelped. “Ouch!”
“So, uh, what next?” Buffy grinned.
“Next, I have to spend days in spellcasting. And I have
to wear a ceremonial hat made of duck feathers. And I have to sacrifice a
rooster. But it can be a toy rooster. After so many years in the mortal realm,
his eyesight is failing.” He patted the duck absently, ignoring its attempt to
snap at him. “I won’t be around for a while. So you might as well know. I
hoped I would have worked out how to banish him by now. This is so inconvenient.
It was much easier at school; I was new and I could pretend I was sick, dammit!”
Buffy asked wickedly, “Do you want us to get Willow and
Tara to help with the spells?”
“No!” Giles spluttered. “No, please don’t tell
anyone else. The mortification is sufficient with just the two of you knowing,
thank you.”
They agreed, and left. There’d be no more Slayer work
done that day.
When Buffy and Xander saw Giles the next week, neither of
them mentioned his dreadful secret to the rest of the group.
And he refused to comment about the little toy ducks that they’d bought for everyone as an early Easter present.
