Title: Gunfight at the OK Cafeteria
Summary: Challenge in a Can (www.dymphna.net/challenge) story. The keywords were Xander, can of soda, scared. Set in the 3rd season. Humour (IMO, anyway).
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't hurt me.
Thanks to: Vic, Pete, Dot, and Jen, as always.
Xander drew himself up indignantly. He clenched his fists. The vein in his temple throbbed, giving him a sort of righteous anger headache. He pounded a fist on the cafeteria table. "You foul fiend from the nethermost pits of Hell! What have you done?!" It was supposed to sound majestic and threatening, but it came out kind of squeaky over the noise of all the kids in the cafeteria.
Willow leaned back in her seat and looked up at him. She said coolly, "Are you scared?"
"Scared?" Xander raised his eyebrows. "I'm terrified, woman. Who knows what you're capable of, you - you - Sabrina the Teenage Witch!"
Willow jolted upright. "Hey!"
Xander was on a roll. "I'll get out my ticklin' finger!" He waggled his index finger in front of her face and tried to look menacing.
Willow glared. "Oh, like that scares me. You know my Wedgie of Death beats that any day!" She inhaled loudly, preparing to say something else, but Xander interrupted.
"I just wanna know if you did it, Darth Vader. Did you shake the can?" He picked up the can of soda, leaned over the table, and near-shouted in her face, "Did you?!"
Larry yelled from the next table, "You all right?"
Willow said calmly, "Fine, thank you."
Larry said, "I wasn't asking *you*, Rosenberg." Willow did a double take. Larry ignored them again.
Xander repeated, "Did you?"
Willow smiled. A slow, lazy sort of smile. She sat back down. "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. What you gotta ask yourself is - do you feel lucky, punk?" Unwrapping her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she took a bite and quirked an eyebrow at him.
Xander groaned. The can was heavy in his hand, and he was so damn thirsty.
His eyes narrowed. Defeat pouring from every pore, he bowed his head, let himself slump, and walked towards the trash. Willow ignored him.
Xander grabbed her with a forearm around the neck, and yanked her back against him. She spluttered in surprise. He yelled, "If I go down, you're going down with me!" He opened the can awkwardly.
Soda rained high into the air and down onto both of them. Larry and his friends jumped out of the way. Laughing evilly, Xander let go of Willow. She turned to him, laughing as well. She swatted at the sticky mess that used to be her hair.
They said simultaneously, "Didn't think I'd do it, huh?"
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