These characters belong to the good people at Mutant Enemy.
Salad Days
“So, tell me again why we have to do this?” Xander asked as they strode along the walkway.
Buffy sighed. “Because Snyder is a slimy little worm, and I crossed his path at the wrong moment.”
“And because you can’t explain why you nearly staked him Thursday night, when you were out patrolling,” Willow added, grinning.
Buffy poked her lightly in the ribs. “Yes, that too. How was I meant to know he hangs around places like that after dark? I’m sorry, guys. I’ll make it up to you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Buffster. He hates me anyway. He loves Will, but that’s ‘cos she’s clever and he can blackmail her into doing stuff. Ahh, just smell that lunchtime air,” Xander mused. “The wonderful scents of gym shoes, two-dollar perfume, and all that lovely cafeteria food I’m not gonna get to eat.”
They stopped, gazing wistfully out over the lawn. All the other students were talking, laughing, flirting, bullying each other for lunch money. “We could get a salad,” Willow said. “They’ve got really nice fruit salad this week.”
“Nah, not for me. I’m not letting any of those pesky vitamin things near my body,” Xander said firmly. “I refuse to be educated, why should I let myself be nutritionalised?”
“Instutionalised, perhaps?” Willow suggested sweetly.
He pulled her hat down over her face. “Hey!” She spun towards him, yanked it off her head, then screwed up her eyes.
“You okay, Will?” Buffy asked.
“Fine. A ray of light just hit me in the face. Oh, great, and now I have hat hair. I’m so gonna kill you, Alexander Harris.” She smoothed her hair with her hands. “We’d better go.”
“Why do they call it a ‘ray’ of light, anyway?” Xander said as they started walking again. “Do ya think there was some guy called ‘Ray’, way back in the middle ages, some guy who was insanely bright and cheerful all the time?”
Buffy and Willow exchanged looks. “Yes, that’s exactly what I think,” Buffy agreed, straight-faced.
“And are all guys called ‘Cliff’ really tall? Do they get fallen off a lot?”
“Hey, did you know they filmed 90210 here?” Willow said in a desperate attempt at interrupting.
There was no stopping him. “That’s old news, Will. Get with the times! Get with the program! Huh, I’ve never understood what that means.”
“Buffy, did someone give him sugar again?”
They arrived at the gymnasium while he was muttering about the essential buffness of ‘Buffy’ and the tree-like grace of ‘Willow’. A long table was set up in the centre, with vegetables, bowls, knives, and chopping boards.
Willow picked up a carrot. “I’m guessing we’re meant to chop these?”
“Yup,” Buffy said. “The Healthy Eaters Club is meeting tonight and Snyder wants it all perfect.”
“Don’t they even get dressing?”
Buffy glared at a stick of celery. “Cruel, isn’t it. These people have been denied the joy of food.”
Willow sighed, and chewed dolefully on her carrot.
They sorted the vegetables into three groups and got to work. “How come I’ve got all the long, narrow ones?” Xander complained.
“It just seemed appropriate,” Willow giggled.
“Can’t I have some cabbage or something?”
Buffy said sternly, “No. I’m doing the cabbage.”
Xander sighed. “Chopping these ones makes me wince.”
“We know,” they chorused.
When there were three neat piles of vegetables, Willow poured an equal amount of each into the three large bowls. “Now, toss!” she ordered. Xander raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t say it,” warned Buffy.
They finished quickly. Buffy grabbed the broom and swept the leftovers into a neat pile, while Xander wiped down the table and Willow disposed of the knives and chopping boards. Buffy covered the bowls with cling film.
She said proudly, “Done.”
They walked out together, Willow munching another carrot stick.
Xander looked at her wistfully. “You’re making me hungry. I’m feeling the pull of the health food, folks – this ain’t good.”
“I saved you something,” Willow said chirpily. She popped a radish into his shirt pocket.
His eyes gleamed. “Ahh, mon chere, at last I have been radished by a beautiful woman!”
They groaned. Willow punched him lightly on the arm. “I can’t believe you said that!”
Buffy punched her lightly on the arm. “I can’t believe you gave him the straight line!”
