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Tegan looked around nervously. The crowd of tiny savages pressed closer around her knees. The tallest of them reached her thigh. They carried tiny spears and tiny bows and arrows. Far from dangerous singly. . . but there were at least fifty of them. Probably more hiding behind the trees.
One of them squeaked, “Take us to your leader!”
[Oh, hell,] she thought. [They’re only muppets. If I don’t figure something out, I’ll never hear the end of this from Adric.]
She felt something cold and sharp on her knee. The shortest one had poked her with his spear. “Hey!” she exclaimed. He looked up at her guiltily, then smiled, showing a mouthful of pointed teeth.
Then she had an idea. “If you don’t let me go,” she started, trying not to let her voice wobble, “I’ll – I’ll take one of my proton energy pills.”
The hairy little beings exchanged worried glances with each other.
“They give me the power of twenty atom bombs.”
They started to whisper. “Maybe we should go?”
“For a period of twenty seconds.”
“I’m scared, sir!”
Tegan reached slowly into her handbag and pulled out a packet of Tic Tacs. Handling it with the utmost care, she shook one onto her hand. She held it high above her head. The savages gasped.
She popped it into her mouth, and cried, “Boo!”
They scattered.
“About time,” she grumbled, then set off back to the TARDIS through the thick undergrowth, singing under her breath. “So come and join us, all you kids, for lots of fun and laughter, as Roger Ramjet and his men, get all the crooks they’re after.”
Nyssa, Adric, and the Doctor met her on the way.
Adric inquired, “Where have you been?”
“Just went exploring. Vanquished some baddies.”
The Doctor smiled. “I’m sure you did, Tegan. Brave heart and all that.”
“Don’t tell me ‘brave heart’.”
“All right, Tegan.”
“And don’t pat me on the head, either. Did you find anything?”
“No. This planet seems remarkably barren.”
She waited patiently for him to open the TARDIS door, then went through to her room, grinning.
