Cast: Wayne Brady, Chip Esten, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Carey

Superheroes: crisis = no paper; Colin = Staple Gun Kid; Ryan = Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy; Chip = the Richard Simmons Kid; Wayne = the South Park Kid
When Drew asked Colin what he was going to do about the crisis, Colin responded with his usual "I don't know" shoulder shrug. Usually it's just an act, but I don't think it was this time. Normally, Colin will do a little comedy bit involving his superhero name before discovering the crisis on the monitor. This time, he went straight to the monitor and even had to pause while he thought of a good in-character catch phrase, "Holy sharp things!" For once the superhero suggestion might have stumped Colin. Even the crisis was a problem for him. No paper. "It doesn't seem that bad." (I can tell Colin has never worked in a paperless office before. Without paper, the paperless office would grind to a halt.) "But no, it could be. What will I staple together when I write my script ... [Colin stops and thinks and then finally gets his character going] ... for Gepetto 2? I hope my superhero friends get here soon." And in this case, I think Colin really did want help with the scene. Help which Ryan provided as the stuck door gave Colin the inspiration on what to do with his staple gun. (I have no doubt Ryan set up that gag for Colin. It was just too convenient to be a coincidence.) And in walks the Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy who seemed to have a lot of bad attitude but wasn't malfunctioning too much despite what the Staple Gun Kid said. Just after Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy tries to shoot the Staple Gun Kid unsuccessfully (maybe that he was malfunctioning after all) in flies the Richard Simmons Kid complete with whooshing through the air sound effects.

Chip stares at Ryan for a long while after receiving his superhero name and then does my favorite Richard Simmons impersonation of all that I've seen. Hands on hips, slightly swayed back, Chip personified Richard Simmons. "And you are FFFAATTT." The Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy was not pleased, "If I could form a finger, I'd give you one." (That statement puzzled me for the longest time because Ryan had used his index finger to shoot Colin. I finally decided not to be so literal minded.) Richard Simmons Kid: "I will deal you a meal so quickly, your head will spin." (My favorite line from this game.) Finally, the South Park Kid joins the fray. I didn't understand half of what Wayne said beyond, "Oh my God! They've killed Kenny!" But that's usually all I understand when I watch the commercials anyway. (I admit; I've never watched a full South Park episode.) Normally, I'd chastise Wayne for not coming up with a better solution to the crisis than "Go down to the store and get some paper yourself." But the solution seemed so appropriate given Wayne's South Park Kid character — so arrogant and bratty — that it works for me. Especially as he walks off singing "Blame Canada" from the South Park movie. By this time, the Richard Simmons Kid is doing windmill arm exercises in the background while the Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy seems to have developed a case of electronic epilepsy. Eventually, the Richard Simmons Kid notices that no one has joined in on his exercise regimen and slows to a halt, bows his head in humiliation, and walks off without a word. A very funny unspoken exit line. Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy's attitude flares up again as he swings out and backhands the Staple Gun Kid for no apparent reason. To prevent further mishap, the Staple Gun Kid grabs one hand and staples it the robot's body and then staples the other one for good measure. (Listen for Wayne off camera cracking up at that.) Dismayed, the Malfunctioning Robot with an Attitude Boy wanders off leaving the Staple Gun Kid to announce that the crisis has been averted. Satisfied, he adopts the traditional "saved the day" stance of hands on hips promptly stapling himself in the sides. Not one to let the Gepetto 2 comment pass, Drew gives everyone 1000 points except Colin. Colin will have his points sung to him after the show. But Colin doesn't mind; he loves Drew. Too bad that Drew couldn't hear him because Colin's shirt was too loud. (I agree with Drew on that one. Colin's shirt was very memorable.) Ah, Drew, Colin — what happened to you two?

Duet: Chip and Wayne sing to Laina, the camp counselor, in the style of the Munchkins
This was one of the better song styles games for me. Not a tip-top classic, but much more enjoyable than usual. Wayne and Chip made the Munchkins' style appropriately silly. (Although there have been too many Wizard of Oz references this season for my tastes, I liked this one. Maybe this should have been the only one.) Down on their knees with odd facial expressions and squeaky, vibrating voices (especially Chip), the guys were fun to watch. (And take a moment or two to watch Colin and Ryan in the background. Especially Ryan after the style is announced and right after Wayne starts the first verse.) Laina's camp counselor job gave the singers a lot of material to build clever lyrics around. Poison ivy, Calamine lotion, broken legs, swimming, canoeing, and my favorite reference — Camp Minnie Winnie Holler. (That was the best I could do spelling-wise.) I also liked the cameo appearance by Glenda, the Good Witch compliments of Chip. Like I said in the beginning, an unusually good duet for a change and definitely worth a second watching or two. During those additional viewings, pay attention to the final line of the song. Both Wayne and Chip are singing, but they have different ideas about what the lyric should be. One starts off "We love ..." and the other sings "Laina thank you ...". They both end up at the same place lyrically, but it's fun to try and figure out just who says which words to get them there.

Good Cop Bad Cop: Wayne = homeowner with a broken dishwasher; Ryan and Colin = dishwasher repairmen, formerly police officers who used the good cop / bad cop interrogation method [Ryan = good cop; Colin = bad cop]
The broadcast debut of a new game based on the Old Job New Job game. Drew began by asking the audience for a household appliance that had broken down recently. Wayne became the homeowner with a broken dishwasher. Ryan and Colin became dishwasher repairmen but what Wayne didn't know was that Ryan and Colin were formerly police officers who used the good cop / bad cop method of interrogation. Then Drew announced that Ryan was the good cop and Colin was the bad cop. So unlike Old Job New Job, two of the three displayed the traits of their former profession instead of just one. Okay, I don't have any objections to that. I do object though to explicitly assigning the good cop / bad cop roles. I think the game would have been more interesting if Ryan and Colin were allowed to decided for themselves who would take which role. There would have been an additional element of suspense as we wondered who would play what. Perhaps both actors would have started out at a neutral emotional level since even they didn't know who was going to play what. Ryan and Colin probably would have ended up with the roles they were assigned given how they tend to play those types of scenes. But at least then, it would have been their choice to play the game that way.

Well enough complaining about how the game was set up, on to how game actually played out. Wayne started the game mildly annoyed at how long the repairmen were taking to arrive. (Been there, done that.) Hearing a knock at the door, Wayne is about to open it when it's violently kicked aside by Colin who barges into the house. This is the one small blot on an otherwise fine performance by Colin, I think. By starting his character at such a high emotional pitch, he didn't leave himself much room to build on. Colin managed to keep the bad cop interesting by all the ways he was bad. Hitting Wayne in the face, slamming the dishwasher door on Wayne's head, smashing dishes on him, hitting him with a big pot, closing Wayne up in the dishwasher and turning it on, and the most interesting of all — the quivering cheek muscle denoting barely contained rage ready to explode again without a moment's notice. As the good cop, Ryan was the scene's director. He would set up Colin's gag, determine how long to let it run, break it off to allow Wayne to react, then set up Colin's next bit. "Inspector Phillips" investigative logic might be why he's no longer a cop. First he mistakenly calls his partner Phillips when he pulls him off of Wayne at the very beginning. Then he suspects Wayne overloaded the dishwasher, then again maybe got the detergent lid stuck, or perhaps the cycle ran too long even though there weren't many dishes in the washer. (Wait — wasn't the dishwasher overloaded before?) Finally, he seems to think that putting the homeowner inside the dishwasher might help them figure out what's wrong. Well, no matter what investigative logic problems Inspector Phillips might have, Ryan's scene direction logic was right on. Neither performance would have worked as well if the homeowner hadn't been up to the challenge, and Wayne was up to the challenge. The physical and stunt work demands are a Wayne specialty of course. Getting hit, thrown about, stuffed inside an active dishwasher, and then looking as if he had just really experienced all those events — Wayne handled the assignment with ease. (I swear that at one time I saw a bruise on his face after Colin "hit" him.) But even more impressive was the emotional stages he took his character through. Anger, frustration, confusion, fear, and then terror so consuming that he would willingly step inside a dishwasher. As Colin told him at the end, "nice work". I agree.

Some final comments on this new Old Job New Job variation. Three-person scene games are dicey propositions. Frequently, they don't flow as smoothly as two-person scene games. Either the actors are stepping on each other's characters and lines or one actor is the odd-man-out and struggles to get into the action. Old Job New Job suffered from this problem occasionally, and don't get me started on the problems of a three-person Film and Theater Styles game. But the good cop / bad cop scenario gets around this problem because it evolved into a series of two-person bits. First the good cop and the homeowner would pair off. Then the good cop would step out and the bad copy and the homeowner would be the center of attention. Then the action would switch to the two cops. Then back to the good cop and the homeowner. This cycle can get repetitive if the game lasts too long, but it does provide a structure for the actors that helps them know who is the focus of the scene and lets every one have a chance to perform. So, the 50-cent question — would I like to see Good Cop Bad Cop again? Yes. I think this is a good solid third or second tier game. By that I mean four or five playings across the entire season. Especially if Colin and Ryan are allowed to pick who will be which cop. Or even better, all actors in the cast are given a chance to play all three roles.

Sound Effects: gets the call to build the ark just before the big storm hits; Ryan = Noah; Colin = Noah's wife [Ryan's sound effects by Ashley; Colin's sound effects by Kimberly]
As soon as the game begins, you can tell that at least one or maybe both of the sound effects women is a fan of WLiiA. Only a WLiiA fan would think to jump in with a song effect while Ryan stands there staring at the heavens. After all, that's what the WLiiA professionals would have done in that situation. But Ryan wouldn't be Ryan if he didn't turn it into a gag so he takes off his Walkman headset after Colin asks him what he's heard. One of the women jumps in with a sound that prompts Colin to admit he's hungry. Since they have a third goat, Ryan tells him to cook up the third one for dinner. Taking her cue from Ryan's goat comment, one of the women provides a goat baaa just as Colin goes decapitate it. Taking his cue from the timing, Colin complains that he hates it when they make the sound just as you cut their head off. (I liked that line. I worry that I liked that line.) Never mind that; let's get down to business. Ryan is going to build a very small ark since they haven't much time. Colin offers to help and begins to cut down a tree for some lumber. Whoosh! Goes the sound of the axe swinging through the air. Oops. Sorry. That was the sound the hose not the axe. Well, it's not as if Noah's wife has ever done this before. Noah takes over. Only he tries to silently cut the tree without the axe head. Puts the axe head on and tries again. Only to develop a crick in his arm. Off camera, Colin collects enough lumber that Ryan decides they should start collecting the animals. No animals are heard for miles around. Just as Colin announces that he sees some ducks, cows are heard, then the ducks, then the cows again. A delightful mix up of cues between Colin and the women culminating in Colin announcing that cows are bossy and keep cutting in line. Was that thunder? Deafening silence and then a modest far away boom. Thunder? No, only the band practicing next door. Was that rain? The women were ready this time. Whispering rain followed by the tinkle of falling raindrops. Oh, sorry. That was the mice not the rain. Next come the hippos — sounding a bit hoarse. Colin thinks they'll need some throat lozenges.

Suddenly, Ryan realizes they've run out of time so they'll get all the animals on a log. Colin objects to which Ryan reminds him, "Who's Noah? And who's Noah's wife?" Marital disharmony threatens our happy couple until Noah apologizes and suggests they kiss and make up. Make up? More like making out. Complete with moaning and groaning and "Oh, yes!" several times. Or maybe that was just Colin practicing his ventriloquism. Ryan starts to check they have all the animals when he realizes they've forgotten the unicorns. Right on cue comes the sound of a unicorn or maybe just a sheep with a cone attached to its head. (Keep an eye on Chip during that bit.) Suddenly, Ryan thinks he hears thunder again. BOOM! That time he was right. Back to counting the animals — three alligators (um... Ryan weren't you only supposed to bring two?) and Colin hears the wind picking up. The wind was picking up? More like a gale force wind instead. Colin was right to be worried. Ryan sits on the log and invites Colin to join him, but warns him to not sit on any of the animals. (You can hear the women laugh as they recognize their cue.) Naturally, Colin sits on the animals. Several different animals. A couple of times. The men step off and the log floats away. But all may not be lost. Colin: "Look! That!" A strange animal sound is heard. Ryan: "What is that?" Colin: "No, I meant the thing right beside it." (I don't think Colin intended to cue any animal sounds then. Colin looked as puzzled by the sound as Ryan was which is why I suspect he was looking for an object they could float on instead of an another animal.) Ryan: "This is never going to work. I guess we're going to die." Colin: "Well, that seems awfully harsh." (Well that seems like quite an understatement, Colin.) Ryan: "I guess that's the way the Lord intended it. Right my Lord?" And from the great beyond to the guys' surprise and the audience's delight, the Lord deigns to respond so that all might hear, "YEAH." Afterwards, Drew tells us that he especially liked the Voice of God. Me too.

Irish Drinking Song: Drew Carey; all four
I swore that Irish Drinking Song immediately followed the Sound Effects game in the taping because the transition was so seamless and someone in the audience was obviously still thinking about the Voice of God when Drew asked for suggestions of someone you'd really love to be. Then I noticed the Party Quirks cards. They're on the tables for Irish Drinking Song but not for Sound Effects. So obviously I was wrong — points to the editors then for creating such a good transition. (Good Cop Bad Cop was also played after Party Quirks just for the record.) I could never figure out who or what the first suggestion yelled out was, by the way. And I pity the person who really wants to be Drew Carey other than Drew Carey himself. I felt as if Drew was reluctant to use himself. But if those were the only suggestions he got — unintelligible, God, or Drew Carey — he probably made the right decision. I guess Laura Hall is officially part of the family now that she's been insulted by Drew. Well, an insult about her sparkly Liberace's sister top isn't the worst insult Drew can deliver. But it's the first time I remember him ragging on her for anything. And I think it surprised everyone in the cast from their expressions. So maybe it was the first time, Drew's slammed her.

After reminding the four just who signs their paychecks (which I doubt), we finally got another Irish Drinking Song about Drew Carey. Wayne starts the song off wishing he were Drew. So the song develops into what it would be like if the guys were Drew Carey. I don't know how many handsome gods have faces that look like cod, but according to the first line, that's what Drew looks like. All the women, all the men, why everybody loves him. To which, Ryan just bursts out laughing instead of singing. I don't think Ryan blanked out there. I suspect he thought of something that he didn't want to say. Sure wish I knew what it was. (At the end of the game, Ryan steps across the line up to say something to Drew. I bet he's telling Drew what he didn't say during the song.) If Chip were Drew, he'd get himself a show, make everyone laugh, run around with his clothes off, and Wayne fakes a laugh. (Unlike Ryan, Wayne probably blanked out for real.) Colin would bring all his friends with him; they'd all live in his house, again Wayne blanks, and for some reason, Chip thinks living in the house together would be fine since they're all hung like a mouse. (I don't understand Chip's logic there. Furthermore, I don't want to understand Chip's logic. So if you understand the logic, don't share. Thanks.) If Ryan were Drew, he would give everyone a raise, let them sleep in his beds, give them all his cars, and because Drew is the greatest boss there is, he'll rub Colin's head. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Drew does rub Colin's head. It's the sort of thing I can picture him doing. This Irish Drinking Song wasn't the funniest I've ever seen. It's not my favorite. But... I like it.

Props: Wayne and Chip = 2 blue foam brace {} shapes; Drew and Ryan = stuffed orange cone on a stick
Colin: "I have a hundred ideas for both of them. But. Oh well." Actually, they didn't need Colin's ideas for these props as the four managed to come up with some good ones on their own. Especially Wayne and Chip. Ryan and Drew's ideas were along the lines of the tried and true but not yet of the tried and tired variety. Holding the cone as an umbrella with the "if we were thinner" comment was okay. The jousting lance is getting old though. I liked the cotton candy. I especially liked Ryan saying "You must tell the English to leave" but mostly because Drew was totally clueless about Ryan churning the butter. The prop directly inspired Drew's carrot joke itself, but I liked it anyway. I didn't like the ring / one caret joke though because it seemed to be derived from the earlier carrot joke. The ending intrigued me the most. How often have we seen Ryan complain that a game of Props is ending? I doubt I need one full hand of fingers to count the times. But he was definitely protesting the buzzer this time. "Oh no, oh no, oh no" as he was putting the cone above Drew's head. I wonder what he had in mind then.

Like I said, Wayne and Chip ideas were especially good. The wind up toy. The ocean waves as the Titanic sank. I really like putting the two braces together to form the number 8 for the Sesame Street joke and using them as the mermaids' tail fins. Horns for the rams butting. And finally, a familiar stand by — French women and their reputation for not shaving. I admit I could have passed on that last one, but the others were really fun.

Credits: Chip and Colin = chorus line girls in rehearsal bitching about their jobs
Although Colin and Chip are two of my favorite credit readers this season, I really don't remember anything special about this reading. They incorporated the names nicely, kept the reading's theme going at all times, and Ryan and Wayne were mostly silent participants. But it isn't a credits reading worth repeating.

Best Game:
This is a difficult decision. I honestly did not have a game in mind for best game when I started the review. And now that I'm here at this paragraph, I still don't know for sure. All the games are of similarly good caliber. For me, there are three candidates: Superheroes, Good Cop Bad Cop, and an extraordinarily good game of audience participation Sound Effects. I think I'm going to go with Sound Effects. I've decided that audience participation Sound Effects can be an enjoyable experience if the audience members are willing to get into the spirit of the game, listen to the actors, and try their best. I no longer compare this format with the all professional format. Rather, I accept the two formats as separate and distinct each with its good points and bad points. This Sound Effects is an example of the good points of the format. And I wish more of the playings were like this one.

Overall Comments:
This is a fun episode to watch. One of the better ones from this season, I think. If I were introducing WLiiA to a friend and could only show him one episode from this season, I wouldn't pick this one. But if we had the time to watch several shows, this would certainly be a candidate. It's a fine example of a typically good episode from this year.

© LKK 08/26/01