Cast: Brad Sherwood, Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Carey

Weird Newscasters: Colin = anchor; Brad (co-anchor) = aggressive fire and brimstone televangelist; Wayne (sports) = female dancer in a steamy rap video; Ryan (weather) = fifteen year old gawky teenager practicing making out
Colin opens the game with a nice name for himself — Thor But'thocks, with a lisp in both words — and then proceeds to tell a comparatively long opening news joke. I knew he was riffing off the "bird in the hand" adage as soon as I heard the Byrds and George W. Bush. But even with that knowledge, I wasn't prepared for the punchline: "A Bush in the band is worth two in the Byrds." Fortunately, for my ego, I wasn't the only one unprepared. Brad had to suck the lime while he was wiping his face to keep from grinning. Wayne didn't try not to smile. Ryan sucked the lime as well but stood there shaking his head slightly at such a delightfully painful pun. And with that, the game was off in earnest and over to Brad.

You probably noticed that Brad crossed himself at the very beginning of the game during the music introduction. Not to get to deeply into religious stereotypes, but fire and brimstone televangelists are usually Protestants. And very few Protestant religions practice making of the sign of the cross. The few denominations that do aren't known for the fire and brimstone televangelists. So Brad probably shouldn't have done that. But for the purposes of establishing a character quickly, it worked well. Not being a fan of fire and brimstone sermons, I don't think that I would want to be in Brad's congregation. He was very intimidating. Especially when he started quoting from Leviticus 13 about smiting the dragon on the 405. Remind me to pay attention to the smog alerts next time I'm driving in California. I have been converted. I will pull over and rest on the shoulder of the Lord from now on as the Good Book says.

Wayne's dancer in a steamy rap video was everything the quirk asked him to be. That man can move, I'll give him that. Actually, I spent more time watching Drew's desk though. With all the nonsense that goes on and around the desk, you'd expect it to be more stable. Even if it weren't originally built stable, you'd think after three years, someone would have stabilized it at least. But no. It still shakes worse than my dining room table. Wayne actually shook the desk enough that Drew's drink sloshed out of the mug. Hope the liquid didn't ruin any of the cards. Good thing Drew picked the mug up. I don't know how Drew felt about getting a front row seat to Wayne's dancing. But when Brad came over to scold the sinner, Drew had obviously had enough and turned away to face the audience. I couldn't tell if he was laughing or just wanted a change of scenery, so to speak. I loved Colin's reaction when Wayne followed Brad back to the stool and started doing — whatever it was he was doing to Brad. Or maybe I should say that I loved Colin's non-reaction. He just watched expressionless. Eyes flitting from Brad to Wayne's feet. Back and forth. With no response to the humor at all — as if that were a normal everyday occurrence. Talk about self-control. Wow. "And the Dodgers lost." Thank you, Colin. At least someone gave us a little sports to cool down with. LOL

Ryan began his weather segment with a very nice imitation of fifteen-year-old. His voice was pitched slightly higher and still had a remnant of the voice break in it. When Drew read the quirk, I interpreted it to mean that Ryan was practicing making out alone. Probably in his bedroom in front of a mirror. But Ryan played it as if there was actually a girl present. I didn't pick up on that until after they got their braces locked. No teenager practicing alone would ever practice getting his braces locked with his date's — too embarrassing. I liked how Ryan ran after the girl apologizing, but I didn't enjoy his kissing the camera. I thought it was a little too much and went on a little too long. But I can easily understand that others might disagree with me on that issue. (A couple of "didya notices". Did you notice just before the braces locked that Ryan had turned his right foot inward to add to the gawky illusion? Nice touch. And if you managed to drag your eyes off Ryan's camera kissing, you can see Drew look down to the monitor beside his desk in order to see what Ryan was doing to the camera.)

Finally, I don't know if my state would accredit any home school that teaches its students to dance the way Wayne did. But then I come from a conservative state. Also, from his expression, I think Ryan thought Drew was slamming him at first with the "impression of Bill Gates" comment. Then, it seemed as if Ryan realized that the slam was directed towards Gates himself for being a gawky nerdy fifteen-year-old and added the wonderful comment, "I'm Microsoft."

Doo-Wop: Do the Trucker; Wayne, Brad, and Ryan sing
The debut of a new singing game. Similar to Motown Group, Doo-Wop consists of three persons, each singing a verse to a doo-wop melody. Based on this playing, there are a few differences between Doo-Wop and Motown Group besides the melody. In Motown Group, the persons not currently singing generally just dance in the background, occasionally interjecting an accompanying phrase. In Doo-Wop, they sing accompanying "oos" and "awws" throughout most of the verse, making them much more active throughout the entire song. Another difference between the two games, in Motown Group, the weakest singer always took the middle verse. However, in Doo-Wop, Ryan had the last verse. Only future playings will show if this difference continues.

About this playing in particular. I don't remember too much about Wayne's verse because every time I hear it, I keep focusing on the fact that his eighteen-wheeler only has sixteen wheels. Usually, eighteen-wheelers have eighteen wheels, as Brad correctly noted. Ryan's accompaniment and verse are what stand out in my mind. That bass voice that Ryan debuted earlier this season makes a strong reappearance here. The accompaniment is sung completely in the bass registers. Ryan speaks his verse but keeps the bass pitch going. It's very effective, but I hope using the bass pitch doesn't hurt his voice. Continually reaching beyond one's vocal range is not a good idea.

I liked this new singing game. The tune is lively and the players are more actively involved in the verses that they don't leave. Doo-Wop makes a nice alternative to Motown Group, I think. I don't want the total number of singing games played to increase because there is a new singing game. But with as many singing games as the US version plays, it's good to have as many different games as possible to rotate through in order to keep any one game from being over-used.

Narrate: at the circus
There is something appropriately inappropriate about setting a film noir scene in a circus. Points to the audience member who came up with the suggestion. While Colin was doing his first narration, I watched Ryan mime juggling and noticed that he didn't always alternate hands like he should have. (At least I assume that he should have always alternated hands. I'm not a juggling expert.) As many times as Colin and Ryan have traded insults during Narrate, they always seem surprised when the next insult happens. And this time was no exception. Watch Ryan grimace at Colin's "tall, tall freak" line. And how many of you expected Colin's line after "freaks, tigers, lions" to be "oh, my"? I did. Every time. I guess it's the way he says it that constantly reminds me of the "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" chant from the Wizard of Oz. The scene was fairly standard Narrate fare until Ryan's narration where he says, "I hope he's not listening." Listening?? I'd always assumed that the narration was supposed to be mental. How could Colin hear Ryan's thoughts? Apparently, I was wrong about the mental narration bit as Colin walks up and announces that he didn't need Ryan mentioning the zipper since he'd already noticed it before. (Colin looked like he was debating whether or not Ryan really wanted him to butt in before actually coming up.) When Colin unzipped the hood and Ryan's true face popped out, I assumed that his hands were supposed to represent elephant ears. Whatever Ryan really intended to them to be, I'm certain he wasn't expecting Colin to call what he did. Ryan's expression right then is priceless. Colin: "Okay, this was different. When you see a man with two large bass attached to his ears, you just don't know what to do next." Okay. Well then, Colin, turn and face Ryan who'll stop flapping the bass. Stare at him for a moment. And then turn back to the audience and repeat your confusion in desperation. "I mean it! I don't know what to do next!" Funny. Very, very funny. Loved it. A great ending to an average game. So, two questions for you. (1) What was Ryan trying to mime? And (2) did Colin really not know???

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Beekeeper; Ryan and Colin sell; Brad and Wayne sing
I feel sorry for the audience member who wanted to be Drew Carey when he grew up. I'm not sure even Drew wanted to be Drew Carey when he grew up. But that's neither here nor there. Points again to the audience member who came up with beekeeper. The audience suggestions for this episode were unusually creative for a change. I liked Colin's reaction when Ryan asked him what he thought of when he heard a buzzing sound — "Oh, no! I'm allergic!" But does anyone else think that a bad edit cut happened right afterwards? What we get after Ryan staring at Colin is a shot of Drew. Whenever, a shot of Drew or the singers is inserted into the Ryan and Colin banter, that's usually a sign that something in the banter has been cut out. Plus when we come back from the Drew shot, Colin is saying something about a very good impression. Now, that could mean the buzzing sound, but I don't think so. Listen to how Ryan says the line "You know, we've got songs of the beekeeper". The word emphasis isn't right if this was the first time he was introducing the beekeeper subject. If it were the introduction of the subject, the emphasis would be on the word "beekeeper". But Ryan emphasizes the word "of" which is what he tends to do later in the banter. So adding all those clues up, I think we lost some of the opening banter. Which is a shame because I love Ryan's and Colin's Greatest Hits banter.

Speaking of loving their Greatest Hits banter, I always enjoy Colin's answers to Ryan's "what does the word XXX make you think of?" question. It invariably leads to a great "what the?" moment. In this case, ska makes Colin think of sandpaper??? Okaaayyyyy. Ryan's title gave Brad and Wayne some trouble. "Hornets, Yellow Jackets, and Wasps". Both of them kept forgetting at least one of the three insects whenever they listed them in the lyrics. I think Wayne was trying to end the song earlier when he kept repeating "Yellow jackets and wasps", but Brad wouldn't take the hint and kept signing the backup. Finally, Wayne resorted to hitting Brad to get him to stop leading Ryan to comment that since the song was at the end of the CD, it tends to end abruptly.

Colin began the next round of introductions by announcing that he liked living on the edge — house on the edge of a cliff, drives an Argentinean car, a flan of alternative music. Not one to let a slip of the tongue go unchallenged, Ryan pops in with "a flan?" And off Colin goes on the benefits of flan — he likes to eat flan while listening to music. Ryan is ska, ska -ing at Colin's comments. But that doesn't stop Colin — besides, flan is a great way to get rid of celluloid. Celluloid / cellulite — what's the difference between the two again, Ryan??? (A reference to the Infomercial game in the sister episode.) Finally, we get to the music style itself, a song by Green Day, which is from Ryan's hometown, right Ryan? "I don't know. Where am I from?" Well, Ryan, you could be from anywhere you want to be, and I wouldn't know if you were right or not because I've never heard of Green Day. But if what Brad and Wayne sang is anything close to what Green Day really sounds like, I'll have to check them out. I enjoyed their "Grabbing My Pollen" song. It might be a little repetitive, but I learned that bees have pollen sacks on their legs. Actually, I should have said that the song was Wayne's song — loved his opening line, "I've got a pistol and a real shapely stamen" — since Brad clearly had no idea what to sing for this one and never took a verse.

Seattle, Washington. (Is Green Day from Seattle?) Where Ryan grew up loving those country square dance songs. Especially that bee-related one, "Whack the Hive". If Brad didn't contribute much to the pollen song, he made up for it here. Wayne did provide a verse, but this was Brad's song through and through. And not a bad one, although I'm not fond of square dance songs as a rule. On the whole this was an enjoyable Greatest Hits. Maybe not a great one, but a good second string level Greatest Hits. Lately the Greatest Hits songs have been running tiresomely long, but I don't remember them feeling tiresome this time. They were still longer than they needed to be, but they've been worse. And as I said before, I always have a soft spot for the Greatest Hits banter.

Props: Brad and Colin = 2 yellow hollow shark fin shapes; Drew and Ryan = 2 inflatable blue cylinders attached to red pillow-like disks with cords running from the top of the cylinders to underneath the pillows
Some slightly more original ideas in this game of Props, I thought. (Or at least some less over-used ideas.) From Ryan and Drew, we got the jackhammer, Marge Simpson, Jeff Goldblum (which Brad really enjoyed), and the rifles (Drew's military experience shining through while Ryan clearly never served). Unfortunately, we also got the frozen nipples, the bees, and (please, never again!) the lightsaber duel. (Never again on the popping pimple either, please, even though it hasn't been over-used.)

Brad and Colin's props weren't as interesting visually, but their simpler design might have been more inspiring. Whether or not that was true, I thought they had the better ideas. The shark fins were inevitable because the props honestly looked like shark fins. But the banana reference was a nice touch. The rocker is something of a Colin standby, but it doesn't appear too often. The hair cut complaint was okay. The Ricola horn was clever. I really liked the severe tire damage, the How do you solve a problem like Maria. And my two favorite — the Cheshire cat, and the right through me — which was surprisingly convincing.

Credits: Colin on a rooftop shouting out why he's going to jump
Not one of Colin's better credits reading, I thought. But I liked what Brad did. The bird on the head was a very nice touch. Why was Wayne throwing popcorn at Colin from behind him? I'm assuming that Wayne was pretending to be a spectator. But in that case, shouldn't Wayne have been in front of Colin? Colin's reference about jumping on the big tall goof was most likely directed towards Ryan. It's too bad whatever Ryan was doing was off-camera at the time. Points to Brad, but that's about it, I think.

Best Game:
Hmm. This was one of the episodes where several games all gave about the same amount of pleasure, so it's hard to pick which one I think was the best. The single best moment was the bass in Narrate, but the entire Narrate doesn't deserve the Best Game award. Colin was strong in both Weird Newscasters and Greatest Hits. Ryan was better in Greatest Hits. Brad was better in Weird Newscasters. Wayne was better in Weird Newscasters. So by a score of three to two, I'll give it to Weird Newscasters. But Greatest Hits is a close second.

Overall Comments:
In the overall rankings for the season, this episode falls somewhere in the second tier. I think the episode is enjoyable, and I will enjoy watching it whenever I have the particular tape out. But I don't think that I'll be hunting for this specific episode very often. I could be wrong about that, but in this case, I don't think I am.

© LKK 04/01/01