Cast: Greg Proops, Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Carey

Superheroes: crisis = out of doughnuts; Greg = Imaginary Friend Boy; Ryan = the Breakup and Makeup Kid; Colin = the Overly Sensitive Kid; Wayne = Matrix Boy
Out from the din of audience superhero suggestions for Greg, Drew hears a squeaky high-pitched voice crying out a wonderful suggestion: Imaginary Friend Boy. A suggestion and a voice that not only amuses Greg, but also provides fodder for some good-natured ribbing from Drew and Ryan who repeated the suggestion at nearly the same pitch. No matter how many times I replayed the tape, though, I could never figure out what else Ryan says. After saying Imaginary Friend Boy. He says something else. It's "Imaginary something something." But the "something something" isn't "Friend Boy". I wish I could figure it out. The crisis suggestion, out of doughnuts, is acceptable but not up to the quality of the superhero name. And the cast had much more fun with the name than the crisis.

Greg begins by talking with his imaginary friends. Yes, friends, plural. He has at least three of them. Maybe more. Most of them are not taller than children. But at least one of them is taller than Ryan. Or maybe he was floating. I wasn't sure. They're not particularly polite friends judging from Greg's half of the conversation with them. One of them insulted Drew. Another insulted Colin. As a good friend should, Greg defended both. "Don't you dare say that about Drew!" "Colin is too trying to grow it back." Suddenly with an exclamation of "Great Leaping Salamanders of Flame!", Greg noticed the crisis on the World Vision Monitor — the world is out of doughnuts! How will the policemen come and save us? (Comment 1: leaping flaming salamanders? I don't want to know. Comment 2: the World Crisis Monitor has obviously been upgraded. Now it can view the entire world and not just the world's crises. Comment 3: Ryan must have thought the policemen joke was a bit shameful because he was standing there shaking his head at it.) Greg's tall or floating friend seemed concerned that Greg couldn't handle the crisis alone, but fortunately the Breakup and Makeup Kid turned up soon to help out.

Talk about rapid mood swings! Ryan's Breakup and Makeup Kid switches back and forth between anger and reconciliation so fast that I got dizzy just listening to him. But with every sentence, Ryan made it clear which mood he was in. A very nice delivery from him. Who cares about the lack of doughnuts? (Throwing his arms out in anger.) Are you concerned? (Clasping Greg's hand in compassion.) And in hops Colin. "I hurried over as quickly as I ... I'm not talking to you, Four Eyes." Whoa! Stop tape! Colin just insulted Greg for the earlier "growing it back" joke. Has Colin ever insulted Greg before? (Outside of an assigned quirk, that is?) Colin frequently insults Ryan. And has occasionally insulted Drew. But Greg?? I was surprised to say the least. Okay, roll tape. And looking at Ryan's facial expression, I'd say he was surprised too. And inspired. "Oh, it's the Overly Sensitive Kid!" Poor Colin. Overly sensitive? More like an open oozing wound. Touch his arm. You hurt him. Mention the word Daddy. It brings back painful childhood memories. Show him the doughnut crisis. He's distraught. The Overly Sensitive Kid is almost a crisis in himself.

What the Overly Sensitive Kid needs is a distraction. Fortunately, Matrix Boy arrives to provide one. Dodging bullets, walking on walls, Matrix Boy is ready for action. (Let me tell you, either the stagehands have got to secure Drew's desk better or Drew needs to start using a travel mug. Because one of these days, Wayne is going to shake the desk so hard and so fast that Drew won't be able to rescue his mug in time, and the desk will be covered in Diet Pepsi. You just watch.) Imaginary Friend Boy tries to explain the doughnut crisis in a pseudo-mystic speech that Matrix Boy might understand. Comprehending the dilemma, the Matrix Boy pokes at his wrist, and doughnuts come spewing forth to repopulate the world. (I don't understand Wayne's wrist poke action. I even saw the Matrix, and I still don't get the wrist poke.)

And then, surprisingly and delightfully, the imaginary friends come back to play in the anarchy. Imaginary Friend Boy to imaginary friend: "Yes, I like his ass too." Matrix Boy shakes imaginary friend's hand and pats him on the head and leaves. The Breakup half of Breakup and Makeup Kid yells at the friend. But Makeup half calls him over, picks him up, and pets him. Overly Sensitive Kid overhears another friend's snide remark to Imaginary Friend Boy, so he picks up the little guy (imaginary friend, not Imaginary Friend Boy) and drop kicks him out of the room. Breakup Kid never wants to see Imaginary Friend Boy again, but Makeup Kid arranges an eight o'clock dinner date before leaving. Finally, Imaginary Friend Boy gathers up all his little friends and takes them to Legoland.

My, oh my, oh my. It isn't often that all four get so involved in one superhero quirk, but the imaginary friends concept really sparked the cast's imagination. One thousand points to the creator of Imaginary Friend Boy. (And I'm glad to hear that you didn't mind the ribbing about your voice.) One final comment. After the game, did you catch Ryan saying "Breakup and Makeup Kid?" as if he was asking Greg where the name came from. Greg just shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "I don't know either."

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Robin, the Candy Girl, in the style of Louis Armstrong
I never thought of WLiiA as an educational show before, but I'm learning a great deal about California that I never knew by watching. For instance, when Robin said she was a Candy Girl, I thought she meant a Candystriper — you know, the hospital volunteers who walk around with the little concession cart. So imagine my surprise when she said she worked in a casino. Especially one in California. I didn't even know that California had casinos. (What did Drew call them, "Card Stores"? That was the best I could decipher, but I don't think it's right.) So I learned that (1) Candy Girls sell candy and cigarettes in casinos and (2) there are casinos in California.

Did you notice that Robin took off her glasses as she was walking down the steps and hooked them over her jeans' waistband? I don't recall an audience member doing that before. Once the song started, my sister-in-law exclaimed that Wayne really did resemble Louis Armstrong. I've become so accustomed to Wayne's impersonations that sometimes I forget their effect on people who aren't dedicated fans of the show. But she's right. Wayne does do a very convincing Louis Armstrong. The song itself didn't impress me too much from a lyric standpoint. But there was one line that I really liked. I don't normally think of Wayne when I think of players who like to use word play. But Wayne had a delightfully bad piece of word play in his second line. She sells cigarettes. Arrives in the nick of tine (pronounced "teen"). Nick of time. Nicotine. Ouch. WLiiA's current reigning king of bad puns, Colin, really liked that one. So did I. I liked the trumpet dual between Wayne and the real trumpeter, but I think it went on a little too long. I got the impression that Wayne thought so too. A couple of times, he looked like he wanted the trumpeter to stop, but she either didn't read his face the same way I did or she didn't see him. Regardless, the duel should have ended earlier. Greg really seemed to enjoy the song, but overall I thought it was just average. Maybe it came off better live. But I'll probably pass on listening to it again. One last comment though. This is the first song about an audience member that I can think of where the person's name was never mentioned in the song. There are probably other songs where the name isn't mentioned. But with so few words in this song, the fact that Wayne never mentioned Robin by name stood out.

Mission Improbable: mowing the lawn; Ryan and Colin = secret agents; Greg = voice on tape
Quick little side comment about the name of this game. Neither Drew nor Clive seems to be very consistent on whether this game is called Mission Improbable or Improbable Mission. I've heard both. This time, it's Improbable Mission. But I'm still going to call it Mission Improbable because the word play works better that way. And because I'm stubborn. So there. LOL.

Greg is definitely the master of the voice on the tape role. Or, in this case, the voice in Ryan's thoughts as Ryan silently read the letter. Beginning with the letter from Yosemite. (Ryan, you really shouldn't ball up and throw away letters from your aunt.) Then the Grand Duke of HardToPronouncia. I wouldn't be surprised if Greg stumbled over the country name pronunciation because Ryan's character would have done so if he actually reading the letter out loud. And then finally, in the best destruction of the "tape" I've heard, "This letter will turn into a bird and fly away. Right now." Fantastic. (Points to Ryan for turning the letter into a bird and making it fly away without missing a beat.) Greg may only have a small role when Mission Improbable is played, but like the cliché says, "There are no small roles, only small actors." And Greg is not a small actor.

But as Colin points out, Ryan and he can't waste time amused by letters turning into birds. They have a mission to perform. To mow the White House lawn to a uniformly fine sheen so that the Grand Duke and the Vice-President can play crochet. Ryan: "The White House. That's over 500 miles away." Colin: Yes, but if they head off in the other direction, it's right next door. Obviously, Colin knows more about the Washington Beltway than I had given him credit for. So our agents step outside, face the opposite direction, and come to the White House security fence. Which they have to get past. Somehow.

Every once in a while, Ryan and Colin get themselves into a situation where neither one of them knows what to do next. And so they toss the narrative lead back and forth to each other like some verbal game of hot potato. Personally, I love those situations. Partly because it happens so rarely. And partly because it is just so fun to watch. This playing of Mission Improbable turned into a series of those situations right here. Colin: "Give me a chocolate bar!" Ryan: "What?!" Colin: "Give me a chocolate bar!" So, Ryan hands him a chocolate bar fully expecting Colin to come forth with some ingenious plan using the chocolate bar to get them past the fence. Watch Ryan's face as Colin breaks off bits of the candy and eats it while mulling over how to get past the fence. Not what Ryan was expecting at all. Well, since Colin wasn't going to be ingenious, it's up to Ryan to get them past the fence. Use the nuts from the candy bar to attract a pile of squirrels that they can climb up on to reach the top of the fence. (Anyone else notice that Ryan tells Colin to throw the nuts to the other side? Which means that the squirrels are already inside the White House grounds and therefore are on the wrong side of the fence for Ryan and Colin to climb up on.) I don't think PETA would approve of that plan especially since Colin's squirrels squeaked a lot at his weight. They made it to the top successfully, but Colin got hooked on the fence. Ryan helped him down and very courteously sewed up the rip in his pants too.

Ryan obviously carries a sewing kit around with him. But unfortunately for the mission, he didn't bring any mowing tools. (Translation: Your turn Colin.) That's all right. Neither did Colin. (Translation: No, after you, Ryan.) Okay. Um. How about Ryan's hypnotic powers? Sleep. Colin — you are now a goat. Hmmm, what are we going to do? Chicken, chicken. Colin: "What's with the chicken?" Ryan: "I've forgotten the code word!" (I can't decide if Ryan really did mix up chicken and goat words. I kinda think he did.) Wait! Colin has an idea. Ryan will pull the grass down. What?? It's so simple, Colin tells him. Colin will dig a tunnel. Ryan will crawl under the ground and pull the grass blades down by the roots until their tops are all level. Ryan agrees to the plan, but notes that it might take a while. True. Okay, so Colin has another plan. The sheep costume! Ryan: "Again?" No, not like that, Colin shakes his head. Colin: "You've forgotten there's an international convention of sheep." Ryan: "Is that today?" and looks at his watch. Drew was the only one who laughed at that that I could hear, but I laughed too. I suppose Ryan could have been looking at a watch with a calendar, but I figured Ryan just got it wrong. Colin must have heard Drew laughing and realized why because he stumbles to add that the sheep get very hungry right around this time.

So on goes Ryan's sheep costume along with his French maid outfit. Colin hides behind a bush that he pulls up from the ground and places in front of him. (Destruction of federal property there, Colin.) And the enticing sheep with the French maid's outfit leads the other sheep around the lawn eating the grass. At this point, the whole sheep costume idea reminded me of another Mission Improbable game from the UK so I was feeling a little disappointed, but I reminded myself that it had been over three years since they'd done that game. I wasn't disappointed for long as the scene suddenly makes a hard left. The sheep has attacked Ryan. His leg is injured; he's only finished half the lawn; Colin will have to finish the job for him! (Translation: Ha-ha! Got you back, Colin, you figure out how to end the scene.) Okay. Watch this. So Colin bends down. Ryan provides commentary. "You're rolling up the lawn?" Not quite certain of Colin's next actions. "You've flipped the lawn over?" (Greg's on the side step laughing over the antics.) Colin runs into the White House poolroom and returns with.... Colin: "Do I have to explain everything??" Ryan: "You've ripped the felt off the pool tables? What's with the stains?" BUZZ.

Apparently, Drew has a rule: presidential stain mentions rate an automatic buzz. Who knew? I realize that I just wrote a lot about the game. But I did so for several reasons. (1) Mission Improbable is a game with a lot of action to describe. (2) This was a long game. (3) I liked this playing. A lot. And (4) because I'm stubborn. So there. LOL

Scenes from a Hat: [scenes = If you could fast-forward in real life; How today's issues would be handled on the Brady Bunch; Improper etiquette when meeting the Queen; The good news and the bad news; Pull the string on the Drew Carey doll and it says....; Announcements that will cause this audience to go wild]
Points to Greg for getting this Scenes from a Hat off to a strong start. His two entries for fast-forwarding real life were very good with the second one (date, sex, impotence) better than the first (insurance salesman gets drunk at party). I have to admit I still don't get the point of Wayne's Brady bunch scene. "Hi Marsha. Hi Peter. Guess what? I'm black." What am I missing? Scenes from a Hat really got rolling with the improper etiquette scene with each entry here better than the previous one. Ryan sticks out his finger: "Pull this." Wayne greets Her Majesty (Colin) with a proper handshake then proceeds to become overly familiar with her, leaving the Queen to end with a somewhat perplexed hand wave. Greg grabs the crown off her head and puts it on his: "Butter!" Very funny. Well, at least to people old enough to remember the commercials like Drew and me. Ryan provided the top entry. "Okay! Okay! Who am I? Who am I?" Complete with dead on physical impersonation of Prince Charles' face. I've never seen Ryan do that before. He pushed his ear lobes forward, scrunched up his face, and voila! Prince Charles was standing before us. Oh man.

The good news and the bad news. Wayne: "The elections are over. President Bush?!" I haven't checked on exactly when this was taped but I think it was before the election. Ryan: "The operation was a success. You look just like a movie star. Unfortunately, that movie star is Drew Carey." Not nice, Ryan. Shame on you. And why the odd accent? Greg: "Merry Christmas, Tommy! It's Gepetto on DVD!" Oh dear. And to pull Wayne out with you to do the scene... Greg, what were you thinking? After all, as Wayne pointed out, "I liked it. I was in it." Not a very successful recovery either, Greg. Greg to Drew: "The bad news was that it was Christmas." Drew was getting pummeled in this game. The next scene didn't help matters. The Drew Carey doll says........ Colin: "It's been nice working with you, Greg. You're fired." Uh, yep. Buh-bye Greg. Ryan: "Lower." Hmm. I don't want to think about that one, thank you. The interaction between Greg and Drew was priceless as Greg slinks timidly to center stage always watching Drew to see if he would object. Drew: "Whatever you want, baby, I don't care." Greg: "Mimi and I are the same person." Yes! Score another one for the Proopsman. And finally, the announcements to make the audience go wild. I'm not sure who was happier about the liquor in 10 minutes announcement, the audience or Ryan. And points to Wayne for taking Ryan's liquor announcement, twisting the word, and announcing "I'm the licker." Nice. Two word plays from Wayne in one night. Maybe Colin and Greg are influencing him. Two final questions. One: Who won the raffle for Drew's Porsche? Two: did you notice that Drew took the papers out of the hat before he threw it? I don't remember him doing that before.

Hoe-down: rock stars; Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Ryan
I've read somewhere that Wayne really does like N'Sync, so his hoe-down about them must have been pretty easy to create. As far as how I rate the hoe-down, I'd call it an average Wayne hoe-down. I've said before that Wayne's hoe-downs are rarely special to me, and this was no exception. Drew's Colin slam surprised me because it didn't seem warranted. But I'll give Drew points for rhyming loopy and groupie. That's a rhyme pair I wouldn't have thought of. Skipping to Ryan, I have to admit I was expecting a Drew slam from him as soon as I heard the topic. So I was pleasantly surprised that he attacked hoe-downs instead. He had to force the beats to do it, but that's okay. Since I skipped over Colin, you can probably guess who I thought had the best entry of the four. Before I mention that excruciatingly bad last line, I want to comment on the opening line. Colin opened by saying he was in the world's oldest rock band. But he very carefully did not name the band. If he had named the Rolling Stones prior to the final line, you might have been able to anticipate some variation of his final pun when he started talking about superstar models. But by not mentioning the Stones until the final line, he could get the entire pun out without any foreshadowing. "A Rolling Stone never gets no Kate Moss." Ow. (I loved Colin's expression after Drew congratulated him. Colin looked like he couldn't believe his own ears.)

Credits: Ryan = evil hypnotist trying to hypnotize the viewers
Once Ryan stepped away from the television monitor where the credits are display, he effectively abandoned the idea of actually reading the names. Instead, he went for an atypical plug for Lewis on The Drew Carey Show. That's unusual for him. I wonder why he did that. It probably never occurred to Ryan that viewers might mistake his reference to small Englishmen ("Don't let them into the country.") to mean Craig Ferguson, Mr. Wick on the Drew Carey Show. But that's exactly what happened at my house. Fans can guess that Ryan meant Dan Patterson, but the average viewer probably thought Ryan was insulting his co-star. Oops. Did you notice Greg, Wayne, and Colin in the background? I could never figure out what Wayne was doing. Greg definitely turned into a chicken. Colin seemed zombified up until Greg came up behind him and said something. Whatever it was, Colin nearly dropped character laughing because of it.

Best Game:
Ah, the kind of dilemma I like. Three games with a solid bid for the Best Game title. Superheroes, Mission Improbable, and Scenes from a Hat. Scenes from a Hat is not quite as worthy as the other two. So I'll drop that one. I'm having a hard time deciding between the other two though. But I'm going to give the title to Superheroes. Greg and his imaginary friends were just too funny for words.

Overall Comments:
As long as I can skip over Song Styles, I'll gladly watch this episode again. Sometimes an episode can feel heavy and ponderous — as if the cast was trying to toss around a medicine ball. But this episode is light and airy — like playing with a beach ball. The cast was having fun, and that fun is transferred to the viewer. And fun is ultimately the name of the game.

© LKK 04/09/01