Cast: Wayne Brady, Chip Esten, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Carey

I'd just like to begin with extending my sympathy to Buzz Aldrin, the poor guy. Because Drew was right. The points don't matter — just like what the second guy on the moon said, they don't mean a thing.

Superheroes: crisis = no more BeeGees; Colin = Disco Boy; Ryan = Captain Hummingbird; Chip = Lap Dance Kid; Wayne = Barroom Brawler
As Drew went through his traditional spiel about each guy coming in and trying to trip the next guy up, it was interesting to see Ryan play into the "Is that right?" gag that often goes with the spiel. Ryan doesn't often play that up when the others do, so it really caught my attention when he did this time. He must have been in a good mood that night. Things got off to a bright start when Drew turned the game over to Colin. Or perhaps I should say, things got off to a dark start as Colin promptly noted that the light was out and proceeded to change the light bulb — John Travolta / Saturday Night Fever style. He danced up to the socket, over to get the spare bulb, and then back up to the socket to put it in. And if that wasn't enough fun, Colin then proceeded to do back bend dancing on the floor. The audience was applauding. The other performers were oo-ing, ah-ing, and applauding. And rightly so. Drew's standing ovation was richly deserved. "That was incredible!" And just to inject a little humor into his stellar performance, Colin then turns around and reaches for his walker to walk up to the crises monitor. I agree with Ryan, "Very nice... oh, nice."

Colin: "No more BeeGees! How will I stay alive? Stay alive?" Arriving to help, Ryan: "Have you heard the noise? The news? Ah, ah, ah" Colin: "Thank God, you're here. Captain..... Hum...ming...bird." Not only was Colin's naming in slow motion, so was Ryan's reaction. It was almost as if Colin's slow verbal pacing slowed down Ryan's facial transformation. But once transformed, Ryan was a perfect hummingbird. (I would expect nothing less. Birds are one of Ryan's specialties.) In one of those odd coincidences that make WLiiA the show that it is, Ryan's blue shirt and the colors on his tie just added to the hummingbird image for me. Ryan never said anything more besides naming Chip until his exit line. He just flitted around the stage. At one point, he was thought Colin was a flower and drank from his shoulder. But isn't that what hummingbirds are supposed to do?

Ryan didn't even send out a clarion call for more help — the traditional cue for the next actor. Chip just flew in of his own accord. And landed right on Colin's dancing shoe. Fortunately, Colin seemed more surprised than hurt. (I wonder if the other cast members get hazard pay when Chip is guesting. He seems to be a dangerous guy to be around. Right, Ryan? LOL) At last, Captain Hummingbird speaks, naming Chip the Lap Dance Kid. And Chip immediately took up the challenge set by his name and Colin's opening antics. The Lap Dance Kid certainly wasn't going to be out danced by Disco Boy. No sirree, Bob. He starts dancing with Disco Boy, shimmying farther and farther down. Until the Lap Dance Kid is doing a back bend dance on the floor as well. (Wayne and Drew are off to the side, just staring open-mouthed at each other.) When the Chip becomes vertical again with a little covert help from Colin, he throws in a little tweak at Ryan — "Did you hear the nose? The News?" I really do think that Ryan said "noise" while Chip said "nose". But even with the mispronunciation of the mispronunciation, it was enough to get Ryan to come over and attempt to stare down Chip. Unsuccessfully, though. Hummingbirds aren't the world's most intimidating birds, after all.

And in comes the last of our heroes, the Barroom Brawler. Wayne grapples first with the Chip who gets his signals crossed and looks like he tries to start jitterbugging with Wayne. Then Wayne fights with Colin who mutates into Disco Karate Kid. Finally, Wayne crashes a bottle over Captain Hummingbird's head causing the poor superhero to flutter dizzily for a while. (I think Wayne crashed the bottle over Ryan because Chip didn't react when Wayne hit him with the bottle. Chip probably didn't see the mime since Wayne was above and behind him.)

And finally we get a solution to our crisis. "Just put in the CD. I mean LP." Would someone, anyone, please, please tell Wayne that we fans — or at least this fan, anyway — long for a funny and clever solution to the crisis du jour? And if it can't be clever and funny, at least let it be one or the other? Wayne has three-quarters of the game to come up with a solution. And "put in the CD. I mean LP" was the best he could invent? ~Sigh~

And so, with the crisis averted, our superheroes leave the scene. The Barroom Brawler is thrown out by the scuff of his neck. The Lap Dance Kid collects his fee ($20) and departs. (Just what is the going rate for a lap dance nowadays?) And Captain Hummingbird leaves "just because my arms are tired." (The essence of good comedy is truth, right Ryan?) Leaving Disco Boy alone to massage his aching back.

Drew gave Colin all the points for that game — 1,000 of them. They weren't enough, and they should have been shared because everyone was in fine form for this one.

Duet: Wayne and Chip sing to Chris, an accountant's assistant, in the style of a line dance song
As far as Duet's go, Wayne's and Chip's duet to Chris was standard fare. Neither outstandingly good nor bad. There were a few things that I noticed during the song. I liked how Chip incorporated the terms debit and credit into his lyric. Yet another example of why I like Chip's lyrics in general. Wayne's adding machine actually had a lever you pull down to add in the numbers. Chris must work in a very old-fashioned accounting office. I'm not even sure you can still buy that type of adding machine. And finally, Colin and Ryan were sitting very quietly and passively in the background throughout most of the song. But they both lit up when Chris was dragged into dancing with the guys. Television fans on the whole may not enjoy the audience participation aspect, but I think the performers themselves enjoy it a great deal.

Scenes Cut from a Movie: all four [movies = Braveheart; Exorcist; Free Willy; Star Wars]
I suspect that Colin knows his Scottish accent doesn't do justice to his birthplace, but he also knows that it's always reliable for a laugh. And he was first off the block when Drew announced the Braveheart movie, although I don't think Colin had any plan as to what he would do once he was out there. Fortunately, Wayne came along and provided Colin with the perfect opening by describing the plan of running into battle naked. "Ack! No! My caber will shrivel up!" "Don't worry, I'll protect Nessie." A nice little scene with good buzzer timing from Drew. Wayne and Colin scored again with the Exorcist, I thought. Colin mopping up Wayne's vomit and muttering "I'm quittin' this job." Shorter than the Braveheart scene, but the right length to get the point across.

When Chip stepped down to join Wayne for Free Willy, I don't think Chip quite knew what Wayne planned to do. Both "Go, Willy!" and the pause afterwards struck me as having a lost feeling to it. But Chip caught on quickly as soon as Wayne shot the harpoon and fired up the barbecue. Too bad, Drew didn't catch quickly; I think I counted 2 premature buzzes before Wayne and Chip could get to the punch line of serving up free Willy samples. The Star Wars scene never actually evolved into a scene. It just seemed to be a series of impressions. Wayne's Billy Dee Williams. Colin's Chewbacca. Chip's very good C-3PO. And Ryan's R2-D2. Did anyone else find it ironic that the tallest WLiiA cast member chose the shortest Star Wars cast member to impersonate?

Two final comments: I never could figure out what Colin and Ryan were talking about as they walked back to the chairs although I tried several times. The only dialogue I could decipher was Colin saying, "Very good one. It was better...." So I guess they were discussing someone's impersonation. Wayne's? or Chip's? I'm guessing they were talking about Ryan's since he kept whistling even after sitting down. But your guess is as good as mine is on this one. The other comment is this. I think this game was taped shortly after the Greatest Hits game was played despite the broadcast order. If you look at Chip's hair, you can see the remnants of his doo-wop hairstyle — his bangs are still slightly twisted and down on his forehead.

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Cowboy; Ryan and Colin sell; Wayne and Chip sing
I liked Ryan and Colin's game opening banter especially the "what's another name for cowpoke?" and the "I have eight children, but only three of them are actually mine" sections. Both Colin and Ryan did some good facial acting as they reacted to what the other was saying. I thought Wayne's and Chip's Hanson imitation during "Mmmmoooooooo" wasn't quite on target though. Mainly, because I could understand what Wayne and Chip were singing. As many times as I was forced to listen to Mmm-bop in my car, there are still whole verses where I have no clue as to what the Hanson boys were saying. But I could understand Wayne and Chip perfectly on the first hearing. Ah well. Better luck next time, guys. LOL

And they did have better luck with the next song style — grunge. Ryan and Colin had some amusingly angry banter going about Colin not helping Ryan to sell the CD after Colin declared that he liked grunge and then stopped. So Ryan was left to sell the song, "Hey, That Horse Looks Good", by himself. Now, I've seen enough games of Greatest Hits to know that with a title like that, the song is usually sexually oriented. And I'd bet money that Ryan was thinking along those lines again when he invented the title. So it was a pleasant surprise that Chip turned the song into one about eating a horse instead of bedding it. Chip delivered another surprise shortly thereafter. I don't normally count Chip among the great face actors of WLiiA — those actors who can twist their faces into a thousand different shapes in seconds flat. But the face Chip made while singing "Boy that horse looks good" was positively maniacal. Maybe he's been practicing. If Wayne was too intelligible during the Hansen tune, he corrected that oversight with this song. I didn't understand a word he said until he came out with "horse steak" — and I'm sure Wayne meant to be unintelligible. What he probably didn't mean, though, was to switch from singing about eating a horse to eating about a cow. Chip picked up and carried the mistake. So for most of the second half of the song, they were singing about a cow until the very end when they suddenly switched back to a horse for the final line. Oops.

"I just realized it wasn't grunge I liked. I always get that confused with swing." Yeah, me too, Colin — because the styles are so similar and all. Colin is all set to introduce another style when the audience reacts to Wayne's misbuttoning his shirt. I think there's an edit jump right there. Because when we come back Ryan is asking Colin what the words "doo-wop" make him think of. "Apple pie." Of course. (I love the lunatic answers and answer explanations that Colin comes up with to that question.) Well, it turns out Ryan got into doo-wop when he heard his first doo-wop song. Colin: "Well, I guess that would ... happen." So Ryan proceeds to introduce that well-known ballad — uh, what was that song style again, Ryan? — that doo-wop ballad. You know, Ryan doesn't really remember what it sounds like, so why don't we just play the song? That doo-wop song — "They Shot My Pa".

I'd like to nominate "They Shot My Pa" for the category of Best Greatest Hits Song Snippet for this season. This song was a masterpiece on both Wayne's and Chip's part. During the musical intro, Chip reaches up and pulls his bangs forward and twists them. Then he rolls up the cuff of one sleeve. The small changes are very effective at setting the mood. And when the song begins, we are transported back in time to the streets of Philadelphia or New York and the era of the corner-side doo-wop singers. It's a fantastic song all around — earning a very deserved and rare mid-song ovation from audience. And a great ending to a good game of Greatest Hits.

Hoe-down: plastic surgery; Chip, Drew, Colin, and Ryan
Plastic surgery. You know, I'm beginning to believe all those jokes about Southern California being the plastic surgery capital of the world. The mostly Southern California audience certainly seems to yell it out as a suggestion a lot. Chip describing his face as looking like a sturgeon earns points for clever lyrics from me. I'll double those points for the face he makes when Chip ends by saying that his ears meet in the back. I definitely think Chip has been practicing on his facial expressions. Good job. I knew Drew was going to slam Ryan as soon as I heard the set up word, "tryin'". I'll give him points for coming up with a new rhyme word for Ryan, but I'll deduct a point or two for going for the easy slam. Colin's Hoe-down about his mother was different. So I'll give him points for that. But no good son should slam his mother, so I'll take them away again. Ryan's response was inevitable, I suppose. Although I wish he had managed to avoid the Drew slam. But like Drew, Ryan found a different rhyme word this time so points for that, at least. Overall, not the best round of Hoe-down, but not the worst either.

Two final comments here. (1) Could we have a temporary moratorium on the plastic surgery topic, please? And (2) I've noticed that when Ryan says "mirror" during a Hoe-down, he uses only one syllable so that the word comes out sounding almost like "mere". I wonder if he pronounces it that way when speaking or if it's just a way to fit the word into the Hoe-down rhythm. (For the record, when I say "mirror", it sounds like "mere-rur" — maybe I'm in the wrong??)

Credits: Wayne and Chip = two blues singers riffing in a bar
A rarity for the US version. A two person credits reading that remained a two person credits reading. For whatever reason, Colin and Ryan never joined Wayne and Chip downstage, although Colin looked like he was going to a couple of times. Although Drew didn't specify it, both guys played their characters as if they were old blues singers. Wayne started talking about something that happened in the fifties. Which Chip declared was before the hoe-downs. That started an argument with Wayne declaring that he remembered when Colin Mochrie's head blew up. At that point, Chip pronounced Wayne drunk. I liked this reading; it was nice to be able to focus on just two actors for a change.

Best Game:
Well, if you haven't already guessed, I give a very enthusiastic thumb's up to Superheroes. Greatest Hits was enjoyable, and I'm serious about nominating the doo-wop song for Best Song Snippet. But Greatest Hits cannot compare to the antics of our heroes as they solve the problem of no more BeeGees — one of the best Superheroes games this season. Disco Boy and friends — you can solve my crises any day.

Overall Comments:
I liked this show. The bookend games of Superheroes and Greatest Hits are very strong. And even the between games are good. I may not rewatch the entire episode from beginning to end every time. But I will definitely seek out Disco Boy and friends whenever my days are fraught with danger.

© LKK 06/10/01