Site
Fast links
E-mail to
Click here for
more information
|
My favorite chemistry e-mailInsight from a university chemistrytest answer on why hell is exothermic.
Hell
The following
is said to be an actual question given on a
University
of Washington chemistry midterm test. The
alleged actual answer
was so "profound" that the professor shared
it with colleagues, which is why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it, as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic
(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
(Most of the students wrote proofs of their
beliefs using Boyle's Law, which states
that gas cools off
when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed -- or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following
answer.)
I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than
the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate
given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take
into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
|
Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
