THE SCREAMER, $19.95
Whenever it is picked up, the Screamer lets out a ghastly moan that incorporates all the misery of mankind into one sound, a veritable cry from all the cursed souls of Hell. Give it to that over-cheerful child you know and in no time he or she will be as depressed as the rest of us.

FANNY FLATFACE, $18.95
Ever wanted a doll that looked as if it had been whacked by a skillet? Then Fanny is the one for you! Pull her string and she giggles hysterically, although the sound she makes is kind of odd because of the absence of a nose.

SOULLESS SUZIE DOLL, $20.95
There are some that say that dolls have no souls. Well, you'll have no doubt when you look into the empty eyes of Suzie.

AMBLIN' ANDY, $24.95
Andy likes to strut around town, and he prefers to do it with no pants! That probably explains the smile on his face. Emotionally scar your children at an early age with Andy.

POSSESSED MODEL, $21.88
Eyes roll back into its head and with a flip of a switch the head spins. Pull the string and it also says things like "Barbie is in Hell" "Ken isn't anatomically correct where it counts!" "Tipper hates you!"

FRICK AND FRACK, $30.00 per pair
These bald-headed beauties are inseperable. It's impossible to lose one because the other will magically appear if you leave without it. Sometimes, when you are not looking it sounds as if they are whispering secrets to each other. Great for instilling paranoia in a little one.

PROSTHETIC PETE, $21.95
He creaks when he jumps and squeaks when he lifts things. What fun!

DOPEY DONNA, $12.95
Donna doesn't do much of anything. Comes with a bottle of Ritalin. Now when your kid gets dignosed with ADD they'll have company.

SHADOWDOLL, $18.95
This distorted reflection of our own world is best kept in the dark. Is it a mutant or a demon that lives between the walls of your house? You decide! In the meantime, the kiddies will find it hard to sleep in the same room as this doll.

LILI MARLENE, $21.95
Teach kids bad habits at an early age. Lili comes with several packs of kid-szed (but real) cigarettes, and by squeezing her chest you can make her take long drags. She also says slutty things like "Hello sailor" "Goink my way?" and "I love a man in uniform... ANY uniform."

CYBERDOLL, $22.95
Our creepiest doll yet. Designed to look like a baby who has been bionically altered, it's guaranteed to stop and go "beep" as it crawls along the floor. It also makes a noise when you stick it in the neck... but then again, who doesn't? Comes in a variety of makes and models in order to better infiltrate our society.