Who needs a corkscrew in combat, anyway? This knife has been designed with the AMERICAN soldier in mind!

a. Hacksaw. Used to untangle camo nets.
b. Small socket tool. This is handy for taking your computer apart when you are trying to figure out how to get rid of pop-up ads
c. Large knife. Doubles as a bayonet when used with special attachment
d. Toothbrush. Titanium bristles don't just clean, they polish!
e. Ruler. Lets you know when you're getting the short end of the stick
f. Scissors. Good for turning bills and "Dear John" letters to confetti
g. Can opener/small screwdriver/bottle opener
h. Spork, the most significant invention of the 20th Century (although YOU may have another opinion)
i. Lockpick. Used when the CQ loses the key AGAIN!
j. Socket wrench set (see b.)
k. Removable microlighter/signal device
l. Compass with grid square reader
m. Small knife
n. Paint remover/chisel
o. Fire-starting magnifying glass
p. Removable pen (black, of course)
q. Comb
r. MRE bag opener
s. 2-foot extendable pointer for splainin' stuff
t. sewing needle
u. toothpick
v. AKO address (molded into plastic body)

a.

a.