AIRPORT SECURITY

Who do you search... an Arab man with a Yemeni passport that says his name is Muhammed bin-Iraqi, or an eighty-year old grandmother from Sparta, South Carolina? If you said the Arab man, then you're WRONG! There is no place for common sense in Airport Security, the game where people's self-esteem is more important than protecting the skies. Unplug the metal detector and EVERYBODY gets to start over!

BALLOT

A game for two players. One player tries to count the ballots, the other tries to manufacture NEW ballots with the Chad-O-Matic or throw out military absentee ballots before they can be counted. Invented by Al Gore.

UN-SPECTIONS

This game is kind of like the old Battleship game: on one side is the Iraqis, on the other is the U.N. Inspection Team. If the U.N. inspector finds any weapons of mass destruction, he wins. If the Iraqi player can keep the U.N. inspector guessing until he gets bored, has to call his 14 year-old girlfriend, or otherwise gives up, then HE wins. It's a lot harder than it sounds, because the Iraqi player gets to MOVE the weapons after every turn. Also, he gets a new concession card every turn, like "you sell oil to get more weapons" and "inspectors must tell in advance which square they will try next."

MAD SCIENTIST

This game is a combination chemistry set and board game. If you land on a flask you have to drink it... then get to the antidote space for that particular formula before it takes effect. Some will turn your skin blue, others will cause kidney failure... you never know what those whacky beakers contain! Although you COULD make win the game by SKIPPING the antidote space, I wouldn't recommend it.

SCRABBLE- THE OSBOURNES EDITION

Similar to regular Scrabble, except that double and triple scores are based on how filthy the word. If a word would make your Mom blush, then it's worth double the regular score. If a word would make ANNA NICOLE blush, then it's worth triple score. And you can triple scores by converting a mildly offensive word, like ****, into a really nasty word, like ******. Or you can score bigtime by taking *** and making it into *******. And if you run out of ideas for dirty words it comes with a copy of Hustler.